Please, please help.
 

So, I have totally reverted to being a mind numbing drunk and I hate myself for this. I had tried so hard and it didn't work. I need help, your support and encouragement, please. I'm heartbroken and so angry with myself. I owe it to myself and family to quit. I don't wan to live like this. Alcohol has consumed me so thoroughly that I feel sucked into a black hole...

Oh Kit Kat, I wish I could help, but im clueless myself! However, i know there are li
oads of people on here just ready to support you, dont be afraid :) . You will get through this with all the suggestions and support. I feel helpless right now, but there is also, a place inside me ful of hope :) we will get through it :) I am no expert here but I can lend an ear :) hugs and support your way xx

KitKat, you are not alone. There are people all over the world who are listening to you right now.
We understand. We have all felt like you do. I hated myself, I felt hopeless and out of control.
There is hope. Me and many many others are turning our lives around. It really is possible.
Are you drinking now?
Xxxxxxx

What kind of support do you have Kit Kat?

Have you tried face to face support like seeing your Dr, or AA or an alternative like SMART, or counselling...or other recovery programmes like Rational Recovery?

Sometimes it takes asking for help in order to get better - noone does this alone:)
D

KitKat, are you attending AA meetings?

They were the only solution I could find for my type of alcoholism.

I wish you the best.

Bob R

Kit kat, like you, booze had me consumed over 4 years ago. I finally asked for help and have been sober and happy ever since. I sought medical attention first, which you should consider when detoxing. I then joined AA. There, I not only learned how to not drink. I learned how to live a happy, sober and free life. As mentioned above, we can't do it alone. Maybe consider looking for AA meetings near you. Just google search.good luck!

No, i am currently sober. I ran out of booze early last night so didn't get as inebriated as I normally would.
I have no outside support aside from this website. I have hidden my drinking so well from family, friends and my spouse. I can't turn to them , at least not now. I would love to go to AA meetings but can't figure out how without my husband finding out. I know I should tell him but it's not that easy. Not just because of shame but he would not understand and aside from my own personal problems, him knowing would start a whole other set of issues.
I have found some of the most wonderful, caring and compassionate people on here. It's sad I can turn to all of you before people I've known forever. I thank you so sincerely for all of you supprt...

You will find us at the AA tables as well.

Call the local AA number in your telephone book and talk to them... you'll see.

All the best.

Bob R

KitKat I pray you find your way. Definetly keep posting here and look for methods that will help you, like Dee said. I went to AA and found my life through others helping and sharing their experience, strength, and hope.

We are sick as our secrets are, yeah they might bring up issues but in the long run it will free you from your secret. You can go to AA first without telling him right away and then break it too him (it is possible people around you have more of the idea than you, but maybe not) (I thught the same way until I sobered up and then people around me told me they knew I had a problem but didn't know how to approach me about it). If you keep drinking that black hole will just keep growing and then it will start pushing your family away even futher (physically).

Be good to yourself look everybody had to start somewhere, we all had to have a bottom in order to do something about our drinking, use this and go to AA, addiction counseling, (don't listen to those voices in your head), AVRT, Smart, R.R., just keep making strides.

I wish you the best and the strength to do what is hard and the compassion to be gentle to yourself. God Bless you on your journey!

I hid my dinking from my spouse and famijly for a long time as well, kitkat. I can tell you that it was a million times easier to get better once my loved ones knew what was going on. We spend a lot of energy on hiding our addiction. If we continue to use all that energy in hiding our recovery, we will run ourselves into the ground and drink again. Early on I needed people to be accountable to. For me, an online community may have helped, but it would have been too easy to go back out knowing that nobody really knew me and what I was trying to do. Having my loved ones and fellow AAs keepin me in check was essential for me. I don't have a good history of holding myself accountable. I tend to always sell myself short.

The truth will set you free. It really will. Wishing you the best.

Getting time sober under my belt has helped me with clarity. Next, I plan on being serious about attending aa. I hope you can find the strength to stay sober, it is hard but only good will come out of it. I'm sorry for your pain. It is so hard to deal with this stuff alone and keep it a secret.

Hi, Kit.

I remember exactly what that black hole feels like—so cold, dark, and lonely. You will be amazed how soon the light and warmth will return. The desire to drink is very strong at first, but it can't hurt you, doesn't actually cause any pain. Keep that in mind when you feel the cravings come. You do not have to drink; the desire comes from your addiction—it wants you to drink, but it cannot make you do it, all it can do is try and trick you into thinking you need or want a drink.

There are a lot of ways to quit. Obviously Bob is all about AA; many of us have found other paths out of the hole. You can do it, too. And you will be so grateful you did! :)

KitKat:

What you've run across here is a real gem of a recovery support site, because what is offered here is a sampling of all different types of folks who have quit their addictions in all sorts of different ways or who are in the process of finding their way. In my own case my background includes both AA and SMART Recovery. SMART has turned out to be more to my taste, but the point for you is to determine what suits YOU.

One thing you may like about SMART is that the online experience over there is quite good--at least two online meetings every day.

So true, sure helped this alcoholic after decades of abuse start to have a real life. And today great friend on top of it.

Good love, Inda

KitKat,

rational recovery really helped me. There's a technique called AVRT. You might read through this link and find it helpful

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...iscussion.html

Love from Lenina

Welcome KitKat -

I found hope here when I felt hopeless and it was enough to make me want to turn things around for myself. At first, it was all I could do to stay sober for another hour or another minute, so be patient with yourself - it really will get better.

It might help to read about withdrawals if you've been drinking on a daily basis. Seeing a doctor can help you get through the first couple days. Just know that, no matter what your husband says or does, you deserve to be healthy and happy!:hug:

I have found some of the most wonderful, caring and compassionate people on here.

I found the same kind of people in AA. It's the face to face "fellowship" of AA that helped me turn the corner.

Glad you are here today, stay close!

Like you've seen KitKat, there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

Like OTT said many of these (AA as well as non 12 step programmes) now offer online meetings.

Some, like the Rational Recovery approach Lenina mentioned, have no meetings at all but rely on books.

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

There's a lot of ways to move forward, regardless of individual obstacles :)
D

Stick with the winners here....we have used Many Different Methods....Personally I use AA....Im now Attending ACA as well....Drink plenty of Liquids...Minerals , Tea,Water,Fluse out the Booze....Flush out the Guilt.I think you should tell your Husband...your getting help...He has to understand...hes your Husband.Keep the Chin up...Take care KitKat