Ugh!
Ugh!
Man, after 11 weeks I caved. Holidaying in a beach side resort town with family who love their wine. You'd know it Dee74...Noosa, heaven on earth and I've only ever been there boozey. I was so caught in the moment that I could NOT see beyond my thoughts that I could handle it! I had 3 and felt no warm fuzzy just sort of spinny confused dumb feeling. 'so', I thought, 'alcohol still doesn't work for me'. Evan so I just couldn't resist trying again today and am now on my 3rd wine cos I've blown it now anyway right? F'ed up alcy thinking. Once a cucumber becomes a pickle it can never be a cucumber again or something like that hey. I gotta get back to it tomorrow because I craved all day today even tho I didn't really enjoy it last night. I hadn't had a craving in weeks! I said to myself if this ever happened again I'd go to AA. Here goes...
Anyone thinkin of drinkin.....don't do it! It's not worth it!!!
Anyone thinkin of drinkin.....don't do it! It's not worth it!!!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,878
F'ed up alcy thinking. Once a cucumber becomes a pickle it can never be a cucumber again or something like that...
Yea the ole stinking thinker can cause quite a bad jam. STOP THOUGHT can put a good shut down on those old beliefs that give the OK to drink.
I'm sorry to hear that DT...
the good news is I've been to Noosa many times in recovery and never touch a drop these days...it really is possible to change & stay sober...even in a crowd of drinkers
I hope going to AA will start you further on the journey getting to that point
D
the good news is I've been to Noosa many times in recovery and never touch a drop these days...it really is possible to change & stay sober...even in a crowd of drinkers
I hope going to AA will start you further on the journey getting to that point
D
So far Ive not had to go back out to test
the waters with drinking to see if it works
again because so many have done it for me
to only come back and tell me alcohol is still
kicking azz big time and it hasnt changed in 21 yrs.
the waters with drinking to see if it works
again because so many have done it for me
to only come back and tell me alcohol is still
kicking azz big time and it hasnt changed in 21 yrs.
So sorry to hear that. I just want to let you know I went back out after 7 weeks, mine triggered by stress and not knowing how else to cope with it.
It was awful, and I've vowed never to allow myself back to that dark place again.
The good news is that I'm now over 9 weeks sober, and things are looking good now. I'm never going to get complacent, but I'm also going to enjoy my sobriety.
Get back on the wagon.
It really is worth it xxx
It was awful, and I've vowed never to allow myself back to that dark place again.
The good news is that I'm now over 9 weeks sober, and things are looking good now. I'm never going to get complacent, but I'm also going to enjoy my sobriety.
Get back on the wagon.
It really is worth it xxx
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Sorry you are struggling DoinThis.
I put off going to AA for so long,I thought I could do it on my own,I never could.
Since my first AA meeting I have remained sober.I hope you get to a meeting soon.
I put off going to AA for so long,I thought I could do it on my own,I never could.
Since my first AA meeting I have remained sober.I hope you get to a meeting soon.
I thought I was safe dang it. I felt so good. The pendulam tipped when I said to the huz that I'm really struggling this weekend (surprisingly as I've been on hols b4 and been ok). He said to me 'well its up to u babe', rather than his usual 'don't do it babe, u know u can't and u know u don't want to'. UGH, that's all it took. This WILL empower me! Knowing how I feel right now and how I felt 2 days ago, it's not worth it! Ugh again...it's gonna be hard for a while again. Hopefully not for as long this time. Sorry folk for posting tipsy. There is no enjoyment in this feeling. I feel yuk!
I'm an alcoholic. Alcohol was my solution. Until I found a new solution, I was going to drink again.
I found a new solution and I am in a constant state of changing (for the better) today.
You can do this!
Love,
I found a new solution and I am in a constant state of changing (for the better) today.
You can do this!
Love,
Sorry to hear this but I'm confident that you can get back on track. I slipped this week too and it has taken a lot not to just fall back into old habits. Personally, I'm just trying to give myself a break and some good rest. Try to just get back up and start again. It is so hard but I know that every day earned sober is a better one. I think we need to focus on what exactly triggered us to go back to that place of drinking and how we can combat it in the future. Best of luck to you and take good care.
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