ZiggyB

I wasn't intending to drink last night but I was at an art gallery opening and I had 1/2 a glass of wine and a glass of champagne. Free booze has always been a downfall of mine.

This morning I was surprised to see how much even this small amount of alcohol has been affecting me. I did not sleep well and woke up at 5:30 am. I have also felt very congested and allergic.

I don't feel tempted to binge so I'm not sure what this means. I guess I need to keep an eye on myself, I was hoping to make it to 90 days but I don't know why I caved. I think it was the social anxiety. :-/

2granddaughters

if you are like me Ziggy you are an alcoholic and inclined to drink.

What are you planning to do now ??....

Bob R

IndaMiricale

And if your like me you caved because your an alcoholic and powerless over alcohol. That a drink in my hand was so normal and comfortable, I had to learn life without it.

But get up and do it again.

ZiggyB

That is a good question, I don't know. Aside from last night I've had one drink in the past 3.5 weeks. I feel like I am doing well in cutting down. I wonder if anyone else has just phased alcohol out of their life in a gradual way?

Sentso

I don't know, I don't think I could...

For me, the moment I get one drink allows me to get another one. Some nights I could have just a few drinks, but it made me feel anxious and restless (and I couldn't sleep well), and then I was sure to drink more the day after...

RevivingOphelia

At least feel good about yourself for stopping at half a glass of wine and a glass of champagne. I could NEVER do that.

So, you DO have strength and just move on from here.

Best to you.

Sentso

Yep, that's true RevivingOphelia.

Dee74

just be careful Ziggy - I can't tell you the number of times I've said to myself 'ok...I've drunk x times in y weeks...thats way better than I used to be...maybe it's ok to do it every so often/phase it out'.

Our addicted self loves that idea....or mine did anyway.
Before long I was right back where I started.

catastrophe of a life....just add alcohol...
D

instant

I drank because I was addicted and loved the buzz. I caved frequently because I was addicted and despite a period of sobriety did not have the knowledge or skills to stay sober. It does get easier with time.

I would be surprised if treatment for social phobia would prevent this sort of thing from happening again.

I have found that at 1 year I can feel very comfortable around those who are drinking and just enjoy myself. In the first 6 months it was like being around a powerful magnet and wearing a steel suit. I could do it but I had to work. Now it is easy.

freshstart57

ZiggyB, thanks for sharing your story, it was interesting. It doesn't sound to me as though you were drinking alcoholically with a glass and a half of wine, but I agree that it doesn't sound like a good idea.

You won't find many who will recommend moderation or tapering alcohol consumption because it has a way of working sorta until it blows up in your face and causes a lot of damage. Sometimes the things that get broken can never be fixed. Before you try this idea again, use google to search this site for the word moderation (type site:soberrecovery.com moderation) for a quick survey of how that whole thing works out.

Alcohol relieves social anxiety was one of the lies that I told myself when drinking was an option for me. Boy Howdy did I get anxious during those days, drank to relieve that anxiety, and got more anxious still. The answer for me was to just quit it.

You will make it to 90 days or as long as you wish, when you decide that you can choose not to accept that drink, and not to accept any drink. You can be successful at staying sober or successful at drinking, but not both at the same time.

Anna

I think your comment that free booze was your downfall is really significant. Look at that and plan to not be in that kind of situation again. Turn this into something positive.

ZiggyB

Hi everyone,
Thanks for your thoughts and your help. I do realize that flirting with moderation is a dangerous idea. I am taking Zoloft for the social anxiety and I have done some therapy around that in the past. I'm in such a difficult place now because my exbf drank alcoholically and also had anger issues. He said a lot of very unkind things to me about my personality and I've been feeling very down on myself since then, feeling like I'm shy, boring and just a terrible person. My therapist told me to ignore all that stuff because he was out getting drunk all day and wasn't doing too well himself at the time.

I do have problems with social situations but there have also been a few where I've overdone it and ended up looking foolish by being intoxicated. Deep down inside I know that alcohol does not make people more interesting. What can I say, the change is terrifying right now.

I think I am going to try making it to a Life Ring meeting this week... I need to learn better coping skills somehow.

freshstart57

I think that is a great idea, ZiggyB. Learning new skills and building a toolbox is something that we all need to do.

I have wondered if sober folks have these tools, and drinkers don't have them, and that is why we drink and they don't. Could it really be that simple? Hmmmmm. Please share what you learn - it will be interesting to hear about it for sure. Helpful too.