brdlvr

Why do I (or my AV) always, always start to think about drinking come Friday (I am a weekend binge drinker - never drink during the week). By the end of the week all the alcohol is and has been out of my body. I am committed all week not to drink - but like clockwork on Friday afternoon - I start having thoughts of going drinking. It's frustrating and a yes a bit confusing to me.

Weasel1966

I am a very time oriented drinker. Like clockwork every weekday around 5 and weekends noon. Not as common to have cravings at other times.

I too hate that.

freshstart57

Question:
Answer:
I was the same way, I needed to make some changes for Friday evening plans, a complete shift away from my other routine. That certainly helped.

Knowing when my AV would get loud was half the battle, it let me prepare in advance.

brdlvr

FreshStart - I have plans tonight that dont involve alcohol
But it's crazy - from past experience, if I don't drink tonight - then also like clockwork, the AV will start with - ok, so you were good last night, you didn't drink, you got up early today (Sat), got your chores/shopping done - now it's time to go out and party. Ugh!

NoFireWater

That AV is more persistent than any friend has ever been about wanting us to party lol AV is so reliable, so available, so willing to jump in to encourage us. Guess we have to treat it like you would any other pest, walk away, distance yourself, tell it "I'm busy tonight, I have other plans, sorry".

Friday is a huge trigger for me too, and it is maddening. Doesn't help that I'm surrounded by tourists hitting the liquor stores and partying on the beach. I'm just carting around the giant ice tea and reading SR on my phone as I need to.

Good luck with the weekend everyone!

TorontoGuy28

It's your addiction kicking in, your brain is expecting a reward for what you incorrectly perceive as a week of triumph by not drinking during that time... New habit needs to be formed at this time, to really "re-wire" your brain....

MalkavianEmily

Even when I drank every day, I'd step things up on Friday and Saturday. Although I don't think that was why I was getting in the neck from Catherine (the AV). I was, quite honestly exhausted. I don't know who was more frustrated. Me, because she wouldn't shut up, or her because I told her, "You want a drink? Go to the shops and buy one. I'm not going to (be able to) shift from here."

Dee74

Friday was always my drinking night - regardless of whether I was drinking on weekends only or later, as an all day every day drinker.

Now Fridays just another day/night.

It took some time and effort to get there, but I really believe anyone can do it

It all starts with one sober weekend, then another, then another....

D

DisplacedGRITS

There's a part of us that feels that we deserve a reward for good behavior. Not drinking isn't good behavior. It's just a part of our life now. A vegan doesn't thing "oh, i've been good all week, i should have a burger this weekend." They just choose not to eat meat. Also, you have to stop viewing alcohol as a reward. It's a total change in your lifestyle. Not just your habits.

Stevie1

It's that whole socially-engineered "TGIF, let's go get wasted" thing.

Amazing how we can be suckered so quickly and easily by social/media/commercial expectations! I particularly liked GRIT'S post.

You do not have to drink. Really, that's all you have to know. The rest is brainwashing.

freshstart57

After all that alcohol had done to me, how could I consider it a reward? More disappointment, anger, anxiety, more sadness. That is a punishment in my books, and that is how I came to see it.

ZiggyB

I agree the weekends are tough, that's when I was doing most of my wine drinking. I'm determined to make it through another weekend without however. you're not alone!

Anna

Studies show that it takes 3 to 4 weeks to break a habit. That means that if you continue to fill your weekends in ways that do not involve drinking, then in a few weeks, your mind will stop returning to the same thoughts.

Stevie1

Actully, no. This is an utterly untrue, grossly misleading and incorrect statement.

It might take three or four weeks to break a mundane habit - turning off the outside light at a certain time every evening, eg - but it takes at least 90 days (studies show - this is where the AA 90 in 90 arose from and it's VERY well documented) to even START to "break" a deeply-ingrained physical, mental and social habit.

I can show you my "studies show" if you show me yours.

Otherwise, people who quit drinking, smoking or whatever the addictive behaviour is would pretty much have it handled after 30 days. But, clearly, they don't, hence recovery programs and websites like this.

I think it is disingenuous and dishonest to state that everything will be fine in 3-4 weeks. It flies in the face of all academic research as well as overwhelming anecdotal experience. It also gives newbies to this forum false hope as well as incorrect information about addiction.

Obladi

Three to four weeks, hmmmm.

So if I make it one weekend, that's 25% (at worst) and I only have to do it three more times to make it a new habit?

Ok, let's give er a go.
The old habit was stinky and embarrassing and isolating.
I imagine the new habit couldn't possibly be worse and is very likely to be better!

whatdya say, brdlvr?

Dee74

Anna's got more recovery experience than you and I put together Stevie - I don't think she was suggesting everything will be fine in 3-4 weeks or leading anyone up any garden paths...

Studies will always fall short of mapping every individual journey.

I can't remember how long it took for me not to think of drinking on a Friday but I know my fourth fifth six weeks and so on were a lot better than my first

ok...lets get back to the OP

D

Stevie1

This isn't a suggestion? Or a declarative statement?

I'd like to see these studies, then.
.....? Yes? No?
If someone (hello Anna!) states studies, I need to see solid cites. Otherwise they didn't happen.
Because this "3 to 4 weeks" claim is counter to everything I have EVER read.
So bring it.

*crickets*

Someguy23

I could be wrong, but I understood Anna's phrase to mean 3-4 weeks to grow out of drinking on a specific day, which is indeed just a habit, not to drinking in general which, depending upon the person, can be a physical addiction, a coping mechanism, a way to pass the time, etc...

Incidentally, I do feel the friday night itch a little, but really not much. It really didn't take too long to break it.

navy0923

Same with me. No drinking during the week but come Friday night a 12 pack of I.P.A. and I was off to the races and continue til Sunday night. Monday and Tuesday were brutal. Wednesday I was going sober, Thursday I was great and Friday repeated the process. Thank God I'm done with that.

Anna

Oh for pete's sake, are you kidding me. It was just a comment based on things I've read about breaking habits.

And, now, let's get the thread back on track.