tzivia

I'm back again. I started trying to quit drinking in April, but I've had several relapses. Over the last few months I've drunk way less than I normally do, so I've had some success. But I still keep wanting to drink, and then giving in. I've made it 20 days once, and two weeks a few times. I've felt a lot better than I have in years, but I still keep throwing it all away and pick up drinking again.

I'm at 9 days sober now. I was planning to drink this weekend, and bought a 24 pack of beer. Then when I got home from work, I got on SR and started reading. I guess it was divine intervention, because I read something that made me think hold on, I don't want to do this. I don't want to drink right now. I want to get more sober time, and feel better, and more self confident. I want to get to a point where being sober is the norm for me, and feel like I'm really living. I poured all 24 cans of beer out and took my antabuse. I'm so proud of myself for that. What a waste of money, but it's way better for me that I don't drink it. I'd just be mad at myself tomorrow.

This has got to stop, and so I am committing to 90 days. I want to stay sober permanently, but 90 days is a good place to start. I need to be held accountable. I can't just keep making the decision to stop drinking, and then just give in and drink. It sounds like I'm not really committed when keep doing this, but I am committed. At least I am when I first try to stop. Then I start to want to drink and change my mind. Ugh, I hate changing my mind. I have to be dedicated to this 100%. I'm going to be on here a lot, reading and posting. Hoping to get lots of support and kicks in the butt if I start talking about wanting to drink.

Good luck to everyone else here in recovery. I know we can all be successful if we keep at it.

2granddaughters

I commit each day, 1 day at a time, to recovery through the AA program.

Welcome back and I wish you the best.

Bob R

zanzibar

I could never have stopped thinking that far ahead. I can only be concerned about today. So I go one day at a time also, and at times minute by minute. And welcome back.

hrich1122

When I've went my longest it was when I committed to 30days. I kept telling myself that if I really had to, at 30days I could have a sip. I knew I didnt want one ever again. I was just trying to trick my brain. Good luck! When you make it to 90, then you can start another 90!

tzivia

Thanks for the welcome. I've tried thinking one day at a time, but eventually I get to a day where I decide I don't want to be sober. Of course, I've also tried committing to 30 days before, and still haven't got there. I'm hoping that by committing to a longer time frame I'll feel like I'm really serious this time.

I just have to stop changing my mind. I go a few weeks and think I've got this under control, I can drink now, it won't be so bad this time. I know I'm an alcoholic and I can't drink, but I guess I keep lying to myself. I need to remember the bad times so I don't repeat them. I know I don't ever want to go back there again.

Tippingpoint

I stopped by quitting forever and have found that to be very doable. I seldom notice the minutes or the days.

90 days is a great start! It will give you the perspective you need to make your next move. Congratulations!

Dee74

I'm really pleased you made a different choice Tzivia
Welcome back

D

skeletoncrue

Ditto! (and welcome back!)

justhadenough

For me,if I said I was quitting for 90 days, on the 91st day I would go on a total bender as a 'reward'

I would tell myself if I could stop for 90 days I obviously don't have a problem

Personally,I couldn't do it.

zerobooze

Congratulations on 9 days! And SUPER Congratulations on dumping 24 beers!
That took power and having that kind of power is awesome.
You can do it. YES !!!

Change4good

Do what you need to do. Do what makes sense to you. And you have our support!

sugarbear1

What will happen on day 91?

I went to 3 meetings a day in early sobriety. It helped me find someone to guide me through the steps, which changed me greatly.

After I worked through the steps again at 4 months, I had another sponsor who suggested I commit to a specific number of meetings per week. It is difficult for alkies to reach our commitments. I also meet with my sponsor one night a week, make my home group without fail, and I volunteer my time another day. This sponsor suggested that if I make a meeting every day, when would I have time to work the steps or to live life where I could practice these principles in all of my affairs....

Do what you need to do, the solution is in the steps. Find a sponsor and create a network of people to hang out with and to reach out to on the phone. It all will fall into place!

Love & hugs,

TheEnd

Instead of committing yourself to "90 days" of sobriety, why not just not drink today? Once you hit 90, what will happen? Does that mean you're cured and really don't have a problem or does that mean that you can manage small stints of sobriety. Somebody once told me, stopping drinking isn't the problems anybody can do that, it's the continuing abstinence that becomes a problem.

MetalChick

That is what I did , commit to 90 days, but during this time (I am at 7 weeks) I firmly decided to commit to lifetime sobriety.

Congrats on the 9 days

Jeni26

Do whatever works for you. Well done for tipping all that booze away. Good move.
Stay on SR. It has helped me so much. I don't stray far from this forum, ever!xxx

Anna

I found that when I truly believed drinking was no longer an option, my mind began to slowly find healthy ways to deal with life.

I'm glad you're back and committed to being sober.

Itchy

Tzivia!
Well done and well said. Recovery approaches that work are as different as the people who recover. What counts is not doing the same thing over and over again that has not worked for you in the past. You have wrapped your mind around doing whatever it takes.

I flipped a switch that made me decide that if I managed to survive my non stop last two year binge, and somehow managed to afford a safe detox, I would never look back. You are discovering what I did. That sobriety is habit forming too. At some point I stopped looking back and watching, and started looking forward in my life. Funny how I stopped tripping once I stopped walking backwards in fear of something sneaking up on me. Now, nothing fearful can catch up, let alone catch me.

But I had to give myself the perfect present. Fear of the future which I can change today, and regrets of my past which I can't affect in the present, leaves just today to act. You got that, you are, because you will.

least

I kept failing, but with encouragement, I never gave up and now have over two years. Keep on keepin' on.