IndaMiricale

Gooood Afternoon,


Its a beautiful friday day here and my heart and mind are just as peaceful as the skies are today. I hope your are also and for everyone just starting this journey I send good thoughts and stick to it. The fog will clear, I know I said it was like a took windex to my eyes. The world literally got brighter and more clear after several weeks.

My first attempt at getting sober was June 20, 2011. I jumped right in to AA did what I was told go to meetings, get home group, get a sponsor, and work the steps. Well everything was going great did all the above but after two months I got to well to fast, it only took slacking on those things for a bit and I wound up drinking. And went on and off for the rest of the year.


None of us, I know I just couldnt accept the fact that I couldnt handle it, so over that time I just spent countless attempts at trying to prove that I could in fact drink like other people. (Deep down knowing full well I could not). To the New Year when I got back to what was working before, and fully came to grips and smash the delusion that I could drink one night and not another.

It has definitely has been proving time and time again before me and will continue after me, that no alcoholic ever regains control. Over any considerable period I would always get worse and right back to were I left off. Or worse , but truly for me it couldnt of gotten worse. I drank every waking moment. So for the title today of there is no such thing making a normal drinker out of a alcoholic.

I write this today for everyone, if your new or if you have some time. Take that minute today to remember why your here and just a bit of the bad. I need to do that because I forget the past so quickly. Sorry for the long thread today , but life is good now, I didnt give up , I kept coming back and learning. So now I have some good time behind me.

We all should have and deserve to have a life and have it more abundantly full of spirituality, mental, physical, joyous, and powerful life. This we all can have if you follow a path, of what ever you choose. For me that path was AA, and I truly just love the program and the fellowship I have now.


Enjoy your weekend and remember to Smile cause Sobriety looks good on You. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!


Good love, Inda

hypochondriac

I love the saying 'If we could have controlled our drinking we would have done it by now'.

And 'If I could drink like a normal person I'd do it all the time'.

Thanks for the reminder Inda x

instant

Great post Inda. I am so grateful we have found a way out.

Zee

Hi Inda
Thanks for that reminder.
To be honest, I haven't even tried drinking normally (although I really wanted to the other day) I gave up coffee this week and had a craving for half a lager on a rare warm evening. I didn't crumble I'm glad to say.
I posted here and had alot of feedback to dissuade me.
Also, I'm not sure how I would respond if I had a sip of alcohol. I've sniffed my husbands* once and I practically gagged. Because I was so ill last year due to alcohol (my rock bottom reached, in style), I may have created my own built in antabuse! I'm also extremely proud of my 11 months sobriety and so are my family.
Right now, I'm ok with water and other cold drinks. x

Edit: *Husbands drink! :rotfxko

IndaMiricale

Indeed hypochonriac- If I could drink normal I would drink everyday, oh yea been there done that.

Instant no doubt, its been a cool ride with you.

Zee, congrats on 11 months that is fantastic. Stay on the beam.

DisplacedGRITS

Thanks for all the inspiration! I never tried to control my drinking. When i fell of the wagon i just fell off and laid down for it to run me over. Now, i've learned to listen and listen good. When i do something i tend to go all the way. When i drank, i drank hard. I devoted myself to rehab when i was in it but when i was out i relapsed amazingly hard. Now that i'm sober and really trying, i'm listening and giving my full attention to what sober people are saying. None of them say they can control their drinking. I've met a lot of alcoholics and i don't know any who are able to moderate. That says something. So i will take the advice of those who have gone before me, who have more sobriety, who have made the attempt and failed and are therefore wiser for it and not take the risk. Why should i? I don't need to experience the lesson for myself to learn it.

IndaMiricale

I hear ya displacedGrits... I never was able to control it, everytime after some detox and sober time, I say I would try. But I failed each day that it was attempted. The very night or day or morning for that matter that I tried this "control' drinking. I wound up having to go right to the store or bar the next day, to do what I know how to do to fix a hangover.

Today we live free of that lifestyle which for me was so hard. Each day searching for that drink to feel better only a couple after that, blackout all over again.

IndaMiricale

Well off to my friday night meeting. Each your sober evening all.

Hevyn

Thanks Inda - that was great. I spent decades trying to be a normal drinker. Anything but give it up - but why? I still don't know. It is a beautiful feeling to be free.

navy0923

Thanks all of you for the great posts on this topic. Have a great sober weekend.

justhadenough

thanks Inda

vegan

I have never heard that one... 'If I could drink like a normal person I'd do it all the time' just made me LOL!! Thanks to you all who make my struggle better

Itsmytime

Great Post,

This is why I am back, failed attempt at moderating. I can't period. It's so much easier to abstain than to moderate. I didn't drink to moderate, I drank to forget, to drown my sorrows, to chase away the anxiety of the drunken night before. All of the above, I am now on day 13 and totally changed my thinking. I am not depriving myself of anything, I am gaining my life back.

Happy sober Saturday!!

aeo1313

I never tried to change my drinking, I figured it was only a few times a week it's no harm. Kind of glad I started on opiates bc they led me into recovery.

IndaMiricale

@Itsmytime... Welcome back, and congrats on 13 days of freedom. Changing that mindset is awesome. Keep going strong.

@lfh4555... And you couldnt be more right, when I came into the rooms of AA I had no idea how to pray and I was not religious. I am so glad today to of had the people in my life to show me the way. I now have my own higher power,which and proud to say I pray every morning then meditate now also. And thank him,her,it I still to this day have a picture of my HP, but I know its there.

Enjoy Sober Saturday all.

spirituald

Thank you I have two weeks now and needed to read this. Thanks

IndaMiricale

spirituald.... Two weeks is fantastic, keep coming here and posting your thoughts.

Well its social time for me, off to a saturday night meeting.

Enjoy the last saturday of the month of July all.

Threshold

It's "normal" to not drink too. I think that as people who had/have a problem with alcohol, we tend to think only of social or "moderate" drinking as being "normal". But just simply not drinking alcohol is totally normal. We are not odd, or weird because we don't drink. Many people just don't drink booze, ever. Don't care for it. Don't see a need for it. Don't have a taste for it etc.

It's really helped me relate to myself when I stopped imagining NOT drinking to be some kind of stigma. It's not really uncommon and not the least bit odd to not drink alcohol.

IndaMiricale

As today comes to a close, I hope everyone had a good day.

Tomorrow the last Sunday of July 12, I will running one of two grills like last years , West Side AA picnic and horseshoe tournament. Last year I cooked 1,000 burgers and 700 hot dogs. Its a great summer family fun day in AA.

So I hope everyone enjoys it in their own way.

Good love, Inda

IndaMiricale

Ahhhh yea Cleveland West Side Picnic was awesome once again. 62 years of fun in the sun.

I hope for all to enjoy this sunday July 29th 2012, for its the only one we have.