SmittyBittyBoo

I'm almost 3 weeks off the drink. I don't really have a plan (except to not drink). I don't think I have a tool box.

I guess I need to start thinking about a plan and a tool box so I can stay sober and not give in or give up. I'm already hearing the AV. This weekend is going to present a challenge for me I think. Although a week ago-I was ready for it, I'm a little nervous. We have a family wedding. My kids are in it so not going isn't an option. It's my oldest nephew.

So-what do I do to make a plan and put together my tool box? Even if it is not for just this weekend-how do I make a plan to stay sober?

IndaMiricale

Well you will get alot of great suggestions on this one. The big key is to remain openminded and teachable. So use some of these suggestions.

I personally use AA, and in that tool box is quite an array of things. But a huge one when dealing with immediate feelings and issues. Is my phone, learning to call people was hard in the beginning. And the rest were suggested and shown to me.

Best wishes on the weekend, keep on here also if you feel anxious.

Zencat

I have selected recovery tools from AA, SOS, LifeRing, SMART, CBT, Urge Surfing, DBT and AVRT that help me stay with my wellness plan.

hypochondriac

For this weekend practice saying 'No thank you' for when someone offers you a drink.

Have an escape plan for leaving early if you feel uncomfortable.

I found lots of useful short term tips in the book Sober Living.

I use AVRT, AA and have started getting one on one support from a local addiction agency.

Staying accountable helps alot. Who knows that you have quit drinking? SR helps with that too. Come back on here and let us know how the wedding went x

Elphaba

I think the fact that you can recognize your AV is a really good start. If it were me, I would create a list of negative consequences that would likely occur if I did drink. I've made a monumental ass out of myself at weddings before so this list would come easy. I would also prepare my responses to questions and pressures from others to drink. I would have an exit plan in place in case the urge to drink becomes overwhelming. Also, I would really focus on how great you'll feel the next day waking up without a hangover or any regret, and a have some kind of reward planned for yourself.

DisplacedGRITS

Hey Smitty! Make a promise to yourself to be honest with yourself. Be aware of how you're feeling, recognize those feelings, respect them and respond to them. If things get overwhelming at some point, have a plan in place to how you're going to handle it. Are you going to duck outside? Maybe just a few minutes hanging out in the bathroom will be enough. Is there someone there you feel comfortable with who you could sit with to relax? Whatever. Just have a plan. Locate the alcoholm check on the status of the punch and know where your safe drinks are. Knowledge is power and ignorance is not an excuse. Don't build up nervous energy by anticipating failure or stress before hand. Just go into the situation aware and prepared and confident. If you go in with a positive attitude and determined to succeed, you will be set up for success.

Anna

One important thing for me was to learn to say 'No' - and to not feel guilty, to not feel like a long explanation was required, but just a simple 'No, thanks' or 'No, I can't do that.' It was a huge weight lifted for me.

Dee74

This link refers to thanksgiving but I think there's a lot of good tips in it for any social occasion Smitty:

Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

In a wider sense tho - yeah, we all need a plan. Read around...Look around too if you feel you need more than SR....

find stuff that makes sense to you, apply it to your life and use it.

That's pretty much tool box filling in a nutshell

D

donenow

Reading here is a great start, lots and lots of ideas. Planning is really important, what is the saying 'he who fails to plan, plans to fail' Good luck! I write down things that are working for me on my phone, and when I'm feeling weak I excuse myself and go and read them. Revisiting my list is something that I do fairly regularly too. Also, before a challenging event I prepare by meditating and exercising (a lot of my drinking was fuelled by anxiety)

sugarbear1

Get a notebook and write everything out. Read it. Embrace it.

Your plan is in the making by posting here!

Stay strong and stay stopped!!! You can do this! You are worth it!
Love,

SmittyBittyBoo

All this encouragement-makes me really feel like I will be successful. I can say "no" (no one knows I've quit drinking-DH may suspect since I haven't had one but I haven't even really talked this over with him too much). I can focus on the kids-they provide great excuses for all sorts of things I've discovered. I can go outside. I WILL be posting on Sunday how great I feel to have made it through the weekend.

Ironically enough-the bride and groom (my nephew) had considered making this a dry wedding and not offering alcohol at all. And back when I heard that I wasn't a fan. Now-I think it would be great! And the reason-they don't drink (neither does that sister and husband). They had been to a wedding and witnessed so many people overindulging and didn't want that at their wedding.