What am I doing?!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
Hi MTN 
I've been following your post, you make me laugh! I don't have kids myself, but I remember my sister (she has 3 girls) saying that when her kids were small, she felt really isolated because she didn't have much adult conversation and time to herself... cue 'drunk' auntie! The girls are much older now and appreciate 'sober' auntie more
I've been following your post, you make me laugh! I don't have kids myself, but I remember my sister (she has 3 girls) saying that when her kids were small, she felt really isolated because she didn't have much adult conversation and time to herself... cue 'drunk' auntie! The girls are much older now and appreciate 'sober' auntie more
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 222
MTN, it makes me sad that you feel so down. I wish I could help you more directly. Posting here is a great idea, really, you should keep posting tonight, don't isolate more, it's no use! I'll be around tonight, I just came back home and have no plans, and I know a lot of people will be around, and we can probably help you in some way.
I do love your posts too, you make me laugh, and I wish I could find the right words to comfort you. Please hang on here, keep posting, you're not alone and we won't let you down tonight.
Where are you now, what are you doing? Any comforting music you could think of?
Sending you good thoughts and strength.
xo
I do love your posts too, you make me laugh, and I wish I could find the right words to comfort you. Please hang on here, keep posting, you're not alone and we won't let you down tonight.
Where are you now, what are you doing? Any comforting music you could think of?
Sending you good thoughts and strength.
xo
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Maintenant je pleure! Je pense que beaucoup d'amis ici. Je sais.
I cannot leave or hide myself away. Too many friends. Real friends and it makes me cry and feel humble.
JHE, I cannot go on anti-depressants anymore, I don't think there are any short term ones, but I've been on fluoxetine, citlalopram, venlafaxine over the years... when I first gave up drinking and took the vitamins and felt great it clicked that all I needed to do was stop the drinking.
Yeah... thought it was going to be easy. Mum is not an option, usually, most times she leaves 5am on a Monday morning and comes home 9pm Friday after staying in a hotel all week. She is amazing. She's toughing out a role she knows she hasn't got in a company and has been doing it for a year. She's doing the handover now, and will be back home-based in September. She's already said then for me to start looking for evening classes or anything to get out and interact, but until then she is tied and so am I. It's weird feeling a sense of reliance on her still, and it goes very deep and very nasty and I'm glad that, if resentments are spoken of - (worked out years ago though) I am in awe and I love her, she loves me, so is going to help me through this as much as she can when she comes home properly.
Zee... you made me smile because I make you laugh - I yearn for the toilet seat days. When I bought a shower pole, to top off the new whizzy fab bathroom I also bought a toilet brush - one that looks posh in a chrome thingy, handle to base. Kids were using it to sword fight, eldest plonked it on the front window sill and there it stayed until... OMG get that out of the window! Everyone else has flowers and we've had a flippin toilet brush on view for all to see! Chrome it may be, but I do have *some* standards.
Sentso, what can I say? You've made me cry. In a good way. You've also made me come back and post though which is not so good considering my current predicament. You made me feel like I had a big hug - and I have no words to describe that.
Comforting music?
Hmmmm ... this came on the radio earlier... Back to Life
Soul II Soul - Back To Life- YouTube
I'll sort my head, my feelings and whatever it takes. I don't see an easy ride ahead, but, if I quit quitting then - then there will be no ride, easy or difficult. This is pants. I'm going to shut up because I'm a blathering tool.
I cannot leave or hide myself away. Too many friends. Real friends and it makes me cry and feel humble.
JHE, I cannot go on anti-depressants anymore, I don't think there are any short term ones, but I've been on fluoxetine, citlalopram, venlafaxine over the years... when I first gave up drinking and took the vitamins and felt great it clicked that all I needed to do was stop the drinking.
Yeah... thought it was going to be easy. Mum is not an option, usually, most times she leaves 5am on a Monday morning and comes home 9pm Friday after staying in a hotel all week. She is amazing. She's toughing out a role she knows she hasn't got in a company and has been doing it for a year. She's doing the handover now, and will be back home-based in September. She's already said then for me to start looking for evening classes or anything to get out and interact, but until then she is tied and so am I. It's weird feeling a sense of reliance on her still, and it goes very deep and very nasty and I'm glad that, if resentments are spoken of - (worked out years ago though) I am in awe and I love her, she loves me, so is going to help me through this as much as she can when she comes home properly.
Zee... you made me smile because I make you laugh - I yearn for the toilet seat days. When I bought a shower pole, to top off the new whizzy fab bathroom I also bought a toilet brush - one that looks posh in a chrome thingy, handle to base. Kids were using it to sword fight, eldest plonked it on the front window sill and there it stayed until... OMG get that out of the window! Everyone else has flowers and we've had a flippin toilet brush on view for all to see! Chrome it may be, but I do have *some* standards.
Sentso, what can I say? You've made me cry. In a good way. You've also made me come back and post though which is not so good considering my current predicament. You made me feel like I had a big hug - and I have no words to describe that.
Comforting music?
Hmmmm ... this came on the radio earlier... Back to Life
Soul II Soul - Back To Life- YouTube
I'll sort my head, my feelings and whatever it takes. I don't see an easy ride ahead, but, if I quit quitting then - then there will be no ride, easy or difficult. This is pants. I'm going to shut up because I'm a blathering tool.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 222
Hey you're back! Hurrah! I'm very happy you posted again tonight.
Beaucoup d'amis, exactement! Je m'étais dit la même chose il y a deux semaines.
Ah ah I didn't know this song... didn't even know the name! The video is pretty funny!
You know, I can't really talk about depression cause I don't think I've really experienced it, though I'm used to being sad or having frequent mood swings, or feeling worthless, but on my really small level, I know one thing for sure: alcohol doesn't help.
It seems to help first, cause it compensates the sadness by numbing the pain, but after a while there's a phase of "decompensation": it doesn't help anymore, and it even makes things worse.
I know you already know that, but writing it down again makes me think more clearly, and maybe reading it again can help! Whatever works!
After more than two weeks sober, I find that my emotions are stronger, deeper, and sometimes it's too much, too hard to bear, but I don't wanna go back to the sadness I felt pretty much all the time when I was drinking.
"Whatever works", those were the words my friend kept saying the other day, when I was telling him about SR and me quitting drinking. He said I had found SR and he had found his therapist --started seeing him a few weeks ago, seems to help a lot... And he used to be so anti-shrink! (and so did I... but I was younger and more proud/prouder? By the way, do you still see a therapist? Maybe you've said it already and I have forgotten)
In my small experience, I know it's hard to find what's gonna work. But there's a solution somewhere, and people you can relate too! SR gives me so much hope about that. I can't believe some people still believe that nothing "real" takes place on the internet... Next time I hear this kind of b******* it's gonna be hard not to talk about SR, and maybe I should, after all.
Anyways, you see, I don't have any advice, but I'm glad to be here tonight, and glad you're here too!
Bisous,
S
Beaucoup d'amis, exactement! Je m'étais dit la même chose il y a deux semaines.
Ah ah I didn't know this song... didn't even know the name! The video is pretty funny!
You know, I can't really talk about depression cause I don't think I've really experienced it, though I'm used to being sad or having frequent mood swings, or feeling worthless, but on my really small level, I know one thing for sure: alcohol doesn't help.
It seems to help first, cause it compensates the sadness by numbing the pain, but after a while there's a phase of "decompensation": it doesn't help anymore, and it even makes things worse.
I know you already know that, but writing it down again makes me think more clearly, and maybe reading it again can help! Whatever works!
After more than two weeks sober, I find that my emotions are stronger, deeper, and sometimes it's too much, too hard to bear, but I don't wanna go back to the sadness I felt pretty much all the time when I was drinking.
"Whatever works", those were the words my friend kept saying the other day, when I was telling him about SR and me quitting drinking. He said I had found SR and he had found his therapist --started seeing him a few weeks ago, seems to help a lot... And he used to be so anti-shrink! (and so did I... but I was younger and more proud/prouder? By the way, do you still see a therapist? Maybe you've said it already and I have forgotten)
In my small experience, I know it's hard to find what's gonna work. But there's a solution somewhere, and people you can relate too! SR gives me so much hope about that. I can't believe some people still believe that nothing "real" takes place on the internet... Next time I hear this kind of b******* it's gonna be hard not to talk about SR, and maybe I should, after all.
Anyways, you see, I don't have any advice, but I'm glad to be here tonight, and glad you're here too!
Bisous,
S
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
be gentle with yourself MTN - beating yourself up is not going to move you forward and it solves nothing
I remember I thought all I needed to do was stop drinking.
But not drinking actually made it harder for me - it was like the tide went out and I was sat looking at all this debris my drinking had covered for years.
The only solution I know of is to start picking up that driftwood...
whether that means getting out of the house more, finding more time for you, a sense of purpose...or getting out of your comfort zone and joining a recovery programme....or going back to your Dr and asking for help, seeing a counsellor, meds (noone has tried all the anti-ds in the world believe me MTN)... who knows?
I dunno - you need to figure that out...but you & I both know....if we want change, we need to make changes...no short cuts
I believe you can do this
D
I remember I thought all I needed to do was stop drinking.
But not drinking actually made it harder for me - it was like the tide went out and I was sat looking at all this debris my drinking had covered for years.
The only solution I know of is to start picking up that driftwood...
whether that means getting out of the house more, finding more time for you, a sense of purpose...or getting out of your comfort zone and joining a recovery programme....or going back to your Dr and asking for help, seeing a counsellor, meds (noone has tried all the anti-ds in the world believe me MTN
)... who knows?I dunno - you need to figure that out...but you & I both know....if we want change, we need to make changes...no short cuts
I believe you can do this
D
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Originally Posted by MyTimeNow 
I'll sort my head, my feelings and whatever it takes. I don't see an easy ride ahead, but, if I quit quitting then - then there will be no ride, easy or difficult.
So I said a part of my piece on our class thread, but the other thing I want to say is what Dee said (beat me to it, being all smart and sober like he is!). So there's driftwood, ok. If you will hang out with us we can be there for you while you sort it out and figure out which pieces need burning and which can be transformed into something beautiful for your home.
I was doing the same thing you were for the last few days - decided to stay away until I was a bit more right in the head. But I think we probably need to try a different way and make a point to be here when we're feeling weak. What do you think?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
MTN... I'm so sad to hear you're having a rough time. I don't really know what to suggest about the not having head space/kids thing, as I don't have children myself, and I don't mean to be hard on you AT ALL but we all know that we can find any excuse in the book if it means we can drink. I'm not saying that you're making up excuses, but that you're using alcohol as a result of situations and emotions despite not really wanting to drink at all. I can see where you're coming from - it's not quite the same, but I used to work 2 jobs (one straight after the other) so I'd be working for 10 hours a day non-stop, and when I got home I felt like I needed the wine to sort of detach myself from what was really going on - I was exhausted and was desperate for some breathing space, and knowing that I couldn't really get that unless I started changing things, I turned to alcohol because it gave me that sort of 'I'm relaxing, I'm not really here right now, I'm tuned out and I'm chilled', despite having to wake up in the morning feeling less than OK, and complaining that I wasn't happy with my life and that was why I drank. I don't really know where I'm going with this, sorry for rambling on. I guess I wanted to say that the head space that I really craved when I turned to drink was never accomplished - what was accomplished was that I dodged the real issues by getting drunk and not having to change anything or deal with anything... it made me more accepting of the situation I'd got myself in. Giving up our vices, whatever they may be, is never easy... we use them to avoid so many things, enhance so many things, escape from so many things... and when that crutch is gone we have to face all that without our trusty comfort blanket. It's not easy and I know you're feeling down, and I know you know this but alcohol ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE... the issues that we have in our lives only get better if we deal with them head on and with a sober, clear mind. Drinking only prolongs the suffering, really.
I really hope things get better for you soon... sending hugs your way x
I really hope things get better for you soon... sending hugs your way x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Much appreciated and gros bisous a vous aussi Sentso. J' espere que vous es bonne.
I'm in tears. I haven't even read my notification inbox yet, I can't face it, but I have seen who sent messages and I thank you, deeply, for thinking of me.
I'm not in a very good place. I guess I crossed the line last time with posting. Went back to the old ways. Is it good? No. All I have learned is it hurts so much to be sober, it is so lonely and there is so much pain. Being drunk just makes it worse though.
I am hurting so much, but that is the drink. I'll find my way to deal with things. I've had counselling, pyschotherapy, CBT, group CBT and I should have the 'tools' I do have the 'tools' I choose though, to pack them away in their box and ignore them so that I might get blathered out of my mind and not have to think for once.
I won't give up on me though, I can't. I'm not going back there even though I am well on my way.
I'm a good person, I meet people and I blow them away because I'm funny, I'm attractive, I'm intelligent, I can do anything I put my mind to and be the best at it. That's how it's been all my life. I don't see it though and I hate it. I'm incredibly competitive and it's almost like I'd rather do nothing than just try. I'm very all or nothing.
I can't risk any other anti D's - I don't want anything mind altering again and the side affects. I have to bring myself out of this downward spiral and start again.
I've been a self pitying drunk for so many years, it's so much easier than admitting to being a failure. I'm not the best at anything other than vodka.
Ta- daaaaa!!!!!!!! *cue fireworks*
See? That was a spectacular event, let's not bring ourselves down here. Buggery Bollocks (can I say that?) I just did.
This MTN will find a way. My real name is Maxine. I will get through this, sometimes I choose not to get through it as that is the most comfortable route. But I will. I have to get through this as NOW is my time to find a positive path in life. If I meander for many more years I may aswell give up and die. That's the truth of it. I need to find my life. I need to get my head round the life I have. I need to change a lot of things. I need to accept a lot of things.
My name is Maxine, and I'm a little lost right now. I think I'm finding the route. Thanks for reading.
I'm in tears. I haven't even read my notification inbox yet, I can't face it, but I have seen who sent messages and I thank you, deeply, for thinking of me.
I'm not in a very good place. I guess I crossed the line last time with posting. Went back to the old ways. Is it good? No. All I have learned is it hurts so much to be sober, it is so lonely and there is so much pain. Being drunk just makes it worse though.
I am hurting so much, but that is the drink. I'll find my way to deal with things. I've had counselling, pyschotherapy, CBT, group CBT and I should have the 'tools' I do have the 'tools' I choose though, to pack them away in their box and ignore them so that I might get blathered out of my mind and not have to think for once.
I won't give up on me though, I can't. I'm not going back there even though I am well on my way.
I'm a good person, I meet people and I blow them away because I'm funny, I'm attractive, I'm intelligent, I can do anything I put my mind to and be the best at it. That's how it's been all my life. I don't see it though and I hate it. I'm incredibly competitive and it's almost like I'd rather do nothing than just try. I'm very all or nothing.
I can't risk any other anti D's - I don't want anything mind altering again and the side affects. I have to bring myself out of this downward spiral and start again.
I've been a self pitying drunk for so many years, it's so much easier than admitting to being a failure. I'm not the best at anything other than vodka.
Ta- daaaaa!!!!!!!! *cue fireworks*
See? That was a spectacular event, let's not bring ourselves down here. Buggery Bollocks (can I say that?) I just did.
This MTN will find a way. My real name is Maxine. I will get through this, sometimes I choose not to get through it as that is the most comfortable route. But I will. I have to get through this as NOW is my time to find a positive path in life. If I meander for many more years I may aswell give up and die. That's the truth of it. I need to find my life. I need to get my head round the life I have. I need to change a lot of things. I need to accept a lot of things.
My name is Maxine, and I'm a little lost right now. I think I'm finding the route. Thanks for reading.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Good to see you back MTN
I know when I stopped drinking I expected my life would be great - but things actually got a little worse for a while. Drinking had been masking a lot of other problems
What are you doing for support besides posting here Maxine?
I think when we're in trouble we need to reach out - maybe its a recovery group, or a Dr or a counsellor...sometimes it's just unburdening ourselves to friends and family...but I think it's important you remember you don't need to do this alone.
Noone going to make you do anything you don't want to do or take anything you don't want to take...you're in control....
but I think getting some reinforcements in could really help you here M.
D
I know when I stopped drinking I expected my life would be great - but things actually got a little worse for a while. Drinking had been masking a lot of other problems
What are you doing for support besides posting here Maxine?
I think when we're in trouble we need to reach out - maybe its a recovery group, or a Dr or a counsellor...sometimes it's just unburdening ourselves to friends and family...but I think it's important you remember you don't need to do this alone.
Noone going to make you do anything you don't want to do or take anything you don't want to take...you're in control....
but I think getting some reinforcements in could really help you here M.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by Dee74
be gentle with yourself MTN - beating yourself up is not going to move you forward and it solves nothing
I remember I thought all I needed to do was stop drinking.
But not drinking actually made it harder for me - it was like the tide went out and I was sat looking at all this debris my drinking had covered for years.
The only solution I know of is to start picking up that driftwood...
whether that means getting out of the house more, finding more time for you, a sense of purpose...or getting out of your comfort zone and joining a recovery programme....or going back to your Dr and asking for help, seeing a counsellor, meds (noone has tried all the anti-ds in the world believe me MTN)... who knows?
I dunno - you need to figure that out...but you & I both know....if we want change, we need to make changes...no short cuts
I believe you can do this
D
I remember I thought all I needed to do was stop drinking.
But not drinking actually made it harder for me - it was like the tide went out and I was sat looking at all this debris my drinking had covered for years.
The only solution I know of is to start picking up that driftwood...
whether that means getting out of the house more, finding more time for you, a sense of purpose...or getting out of your comfort zone and joining a recovery programme....or going back to your Dr and asking for help, seeing a counsellor, meds (noone has tried all the anti-ds in the world believe me MTN
)... who knows?I dunno - you need to figure that out...but you & I both know....if we want change, we need to make changes...no short cuts
I believe you can do this
D
I do have to pick up the pieces. I sobbed in my bed sober 2 nights ago for the first time in years. I decided it was too painful and it was easier to drink. It's not. I cannot and will not go back there. I'll just have to face the pain. I am an adult with 2 children. I'm on my own, they are fantastic. I'll pick up the pieces and I'll aslo count my blessings. It's not all about me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by Dee74
Good to see you back MTN
I know when I stopped drinking I expected my life would be great - but things actually got a little worse for a while. Drinking had been masking a lot of other problems
What are you doing for support besides posting here Maxine?
I think when we're in trouble we need to reach out - maybe its a recovery group, or a Dr or a counsellor...sometimes it's just unburdening ourselves to friends and family...but I think it's important you remember you don't need to do this alone.
Noone going to make you do anything you don't want to do or take anything you don't want to take...you're in control....
but I think getting some reinforcements in could really help you here M.
D
I know when I stopped drinking I expected my life would be great - but things actually got a little worse for a while. Drinking had been masking a lot of other problems
What are you doing for support besides posting here Maxine?
I think when we're in trouble we need to reach out - maybe its a recovery group, or a Dr or a counsellor...sometimes it's just unburdening ourselves to friends and family...but I think it's important you remember you don't need to do this alone.
Noone going to make you do anything you don't want to do or take anything you don't want to take...you're in control....
but I think getting some reinforcements in could really help you here M.
D
I honestly don't know what I'm going to do Dee. My mum know's I'm struggling but has had to take back her offer of support as she is committed to working in London know until the end of September at least.
AA meetings here are all 8pm, and although that's not my thing, I think if I could walk out of the house every evening and go to a meet I would. If I had the chance I'd walk out of the house and go anywhere at 8pm nightly!
I'm not going to pay somebody £15 for watching the kids 3 times a week. I'd rather do secular and have £45 to treat them.
I just don't know at the moment.
That's not me slacking off, I need to address the issue of - 1 week woohoo you're cured, then 9 days, then 13 days then anything but 2 weeks. This issue of Wow! You can make it to nearly 2 weeks, you don't have a problem... and here I am
I'm frightened of the GP - I never used to be, as been with self harm and some awful depressive things over the years, but it is a new doctor, the ex is making things difficult and I'm worried about going down that avenue. I also know it's best to admit to having a problem before you are seen to have a problem... Aaargh *bang head against wall* Not really.
Honestly - I just don't know. I want to get through the holidays, get back into a routine with the kids and then maybe I'll be able to make plans. In the meantime I need to stop focusing on the negative and concentrate on just getting out there and seeing the positive.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I understand about how doing something different is difficult...but so is doing things the same over and over.
No matter what the obstacles are, I believe you can find your way forward...just remember you're not alone.
If meetings are impossible, try online meetings...if AA is not your thing try SMART...if meetings are not your thing in any form, try RationalRecovery.
Remember that your GP is there to help you..and is bound by an oath of confidentiality...and if they locked up every mum who drank they'd never have time to do anything else....
Maybe you need the Dr maybe not...but don't let fear stop you from getting help if you know you really need it
D
No matter what the obstacles are, I believe you can find your way forward...just remember you're not alone.
If meetings are impossible, try online meetings...if AA is not your thing try SMART...if meetings are not your thing in any form, try RationalRecovery.
Remember that your GP is there to help you..and is bound by an oath of confidentiality...and if they locked up every mum who drank they'd never have time to do anything else....
Maybe you need the Dr maybe not...but don't let fear stop you from getting help if you know you really need it
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
That sounds like a load of non-committal BS excuses.
I can see that. That's not the case. Yes I'd love some outer influence in my life to help me. I don't have one though. Other things work, until you DECIDE they don't. You make that DECISION and EXCUSE yourself so you can drink. I know that. I have to deal with my decisions. Was it ever the right choice? Of course not.
So again, take responsibility and take action. It really is a personal choice, nobody can help me but me ultimately.
I can see that. That's not the case. Yes I'd love some outer influence in my life to help me. I don't have one though. Other things work, until you DECIDE they don't. You make that DECISION and EXCUSE yourself so you can drink. I know that. I have to deal with my decisions. Was it ever the right choice? Of course not.
So again, take responsibility and take action. It really is a personal choice, nobody can help me but me ultimately.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I never said you're excuses were BS
For years I found it hard to reach out...I wanted to deal with everything myself...it was my problem, mine to fix.
Only I didn't do a very good job of it until I opened up and let other people in...
of course that meant there was no turning back and change was inevitable then...but it was the right thing to do for me...everything got easier from that point
But like you say we each have our own journeys.
whatever you decide to do Maxine, you have support here
D
For years I found it hard to reach out...I wanted to deal with everything myself...it was my problem, mine to fix.
Only I didn't do a very good job of it until I opened up and let other people in...
of course that meant there was no turning back and change was inevitable then...but it was the right thing to do for me...everything got easier from that point
But like you say we each have our own journeys.
whatever you decide to do Maxine, you have support here
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by Dee74
I understand about how doing something different is difficult...but so is doing things the same over and over.
No matter what the obstacles are, I believe you can find your way forward...just remember you're not alone.
If meetings are impossible, try online meetings...if AA is not your thing try SMART...if meetings are not your thing in any form, try RationalRecovery.
Remember that your GP is there to help you..and is bound by an oath of confidentiality...and if they locked up every mum who drank they'd never have time to do anything else....
Maybe you need the Dr maybe not...but don't let fear stop you from getting help if you know you really need it
D
No matter what the obstacles are, I believe you can find your way forward...just remember you're not alone.
If meetings are impossible, try online meetings...if AA is not your thing try SMART...if meetings are not your thing in any form, try RationalRecovery.
Remember that your GP is there to help you..and is bound by an oath of confidentiality...and if they locked up every mum who drank they'd never have time to do anything else....
Maybe you need the Dr maybe not...but don't let fear stop you from getting help if you know you really need it
D
You're right, I've talked often about SMART... have I made one of their meetings yet? Have I heck! It is difficult as our daytime meetings would be when the kids are about so nigh on impossible, but I suppose if I was committed I would make the 1am one... and say I'm so tired! Kidding LOL I did register and I didn't even post in their forum... maybe afraid to take the REAL leap.
Maybe holding on to the once a fortnight never did anyone any harm belief... heh
I'm not so much afraid of the doctor, but I know I don't need a medical detox and they know I've been counselled for years, it's almost turning into what's the problem this time LOL
I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be negative or obstructive to your ideas and probably I will think about things more. I appreciate absolutely everything you are saying, and I do think that Dee you are right, I should call the Dr first thing in morning and unburden myself... You know what? I think I'll do that. She might be a new doctor but on our first meet she put a coil in so I feel we are already suitably acquainted LOL!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by Dee74
I never said you're excuses were BS
For years I found it hard to reach out...I wanted to deal with everything myself...it was my problem, mine to fix.
Only I didn't do a very good job of it until I opened up and let other people in...
of course that meant there was no turning back and change was inevitable then...but it was the right thing to do for me...everything got easier from that point
But like you say we each have our own journeys.
whatever you decide to do Maxine, you have support here
D
For years I found it hard to reach out...I wanted to deal with everything myself...it was my problem, mine to fix.
Only I didn't do a very good job of it until I opened up and let other people in...
of course that meant there was no turning back and change was inevitable then...but it was the right thing to do for me...everything got easier from that point
But like you say we each have our own journeys.
whatever you decide to do Maxine, you have support here
D
Please don't think I was implying you said anything.
I really appreciate your posts and am thankful for them. In no way would I slag them. You talked me round to the GP ;-)
Ah bugger.
But thank you
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
MTN! Just noticed you had a thread here! Glad to see you posted as I thought you had left. Sad to read that you started drinking again...I also did not make it past July unscathed. Trying to start fresh now. Your posts always bring me a great smile. Hope you can get back on the horse with minimal damage.
I'm on the way to bed and will wake on day 3. Talk to you soon.
I'm on the way to bed and will wake on day 3. Talk to you soon.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
