What am I doing?!!
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Originally Posted by Jeni26 
Well done for chucking it away. The cost if you'd drank it would have been far more than £5.50.
Time to start again. Keep posting. We are all here for you xx
Time to start again. Keep posting. We are all here for you xx
Originally Posted by justhadenough
Be proud of yourself for pouring it away,MTN
I agree with Jeni-£5.50is a small amount to lose compared to the greater loss if you had drunk it
If you feel you want to drink please come on here for help.x
I agree with Jeni-£5.50is a small amount to lose compared to the greater loss if you had drunk it
If you feel you want to drink please come on here for help.x
Originally Posted by Live2Run25
Good job for throwing it out. That's awesome! So you slipped, we all have at some point. Start over.. you can do!!
Yeah definitely worth losing £5.50 this morning, DD was awake super early, so I didn't get my quiet cuppa start to the day, but I feel good and SO glad I don't have a hangover. Time travel would be handy with alcoholism... this is where you will be tomorrow if you do/don't take those drinks... What am I on about? It doesn't need time travel, we all KNOW what's going to happen! Stupid thought for the day out there already!
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Originally Posted by duane1
My near 2 months of sobriety started with throwing away a new box of wine and an 18 pack at the beginning of a 4 day weekend. You can do this. You slipped up, but the important part is to catch yourself and start down the path to sobriety again. Use this as a learning experience of how powerful the AV is the next time you think of picking up a 6 pack. This thread has provided yet another reminder to me.
Originally Posted by TodayisGood
Very glad you posted about the experience. What you went through is honestly my biggest fear. At some point, the challenge will come, and I'll remember what you've said. Thanks for writing it all out. Hope it helped you too. Isn't that weird? In the mist of such an ugly situation we've gotten ourselves into, emerges a perfect harmony of helpfulness between people. Wish you the best. Stay strong. You can do it!
Yes, I guess it comes to us all at some point. Don't make the same mistake as me if it does, keep posting and get your feelings out there. I shut myself off from most of SR - BAD move! It's funny, it was only a couple of days but felt like an eternity battling with myself. Live and learn eh? And you're are right this is such a wonderful place full of wonderfully supportive people. We can do it!
Originally Posted by NoFireWater
It is really helpful when people post the bad stuff too. Nobody is perfect, and you might stop someone else from slipping up. The forums wouldn't be helpful if everyone just quit, got it right the first time, and it seemed like it was that easy. It's hard! We all get that, and being seduced by a summer day isn't the first or last time that will happen to someone.
Good for you to have poured out the latest purchase, and coming here to tell about it! I wonder why some things aren't as fun as they are while you're drinking, but try to reverse it and think of things that are better when you're NOT drinking.
Good for you to have poured out the latest purchase, and coming here to tell about it! I wonder why some things aren't as fun as they are while you're drinking, but try to reverse it and think of things that are better when you're NOT drinking.
I'm sure the fun stuff still would have been fun without the drink, and I'd go with 100% of things being better when not drinking!
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Originally Posted by justhadenough
Morning MTN
Congrats on not drinking last night.I hope you feel better this morning.
Ah-the luxury of coming downstairs alone for coffee before toddlers awake!I managed 20mins this morning!x
Congrats on not drinking last night.I hope you feel better this morning.
Ah-the luxury of coming downstairs alone for coffee before toddlers awake!I managed 20mins this morning!x
20 minutes? I'm jealous! Maybe she'll sleep in a bit tomorrow, she's tired already and laying on the sofa Lol I need our early morning posts in peace Just trying to catch up with the thread and reply to everybody - more tea/coffee anybody!?
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Originally Posted by MyTimeNow
Thanks 20 minutes? I'm jealous! Maybe she'll sleep in a bit tomorrow, she's tired already and laying on the sofa Lol I need our early morning posts in peace
Just trying to catch up with the thread and reply to everybody - more tea/coffee anybody!?
20 minutes? I'm jealous! Maybe she'll sleep in a bit tomorrow, she's tired already and laying on the sofa Lol I need our early morning posts in peace Just trying to catch up with the thread and reply to everybody - more tea/coffee anybody!?
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Originally Posted by DisplacedGRITS
Your post is amazingly insightful for me since i haven't had a relapse while being in meaningful recovery. You've made amazing progress. Imagine where that inital stumble could have led. Keep practicing your sobriety and don't be embarassed to post here. You seem to have learned a fom the experience and i know i've learned a lot from you. Thank you so much for sharing! You are absolutely amazing to have recovered and gained so much from the experience so quickly! Keep humbling yourself to it. You're doing well. We're not perfect but as long as we learn from our mistakes we'll keep moving forward.
Originally Posted by mecanix
I've also found this week difficult in the uk's hot weather .
Just to stop and have half a bitter outside a country pub in the sunshine would be nice
...
but i think on , i'd probally get confident in just having the one , so i'd have one with dinner ....
then a week later whats the problem with having one after dinner ..
then maybe seeing as it's the weekend maybe half a bottle ..
then seeing as i've nearly finnished the bottle i'd better drink it all ,
Then maybe i should buy two next time as the weekends are quite long ...
he he he , i am such an alcoholic , thankfully i know myself quite well and know what i'm like .. seems like you know yourself quite well , as well, even after a "moment of madness"
best wishes M
Just to stop and have half a bitter outside a country pub in the sunshine would be nice
...
but i think on , i'd probally get confident in just having the one , so i'd have one with dinner ....
then a week later whats the problem with having one after dinner ..
then maybe seeing as it's the weekend maybe half a bottle ..
then seeing as i've nearly finnished the bottle i'd better drink it all ,
Then maybe i should buy two next time as the weekends are quite long ...
he he he , i am such an alcoholic , thankfully i know myself quite well and know what i'm like .. seems like you know yourself quite well , as well, even after a "moment of madness"
best wishes M
I can so see where you are coming from... that would be so easy to fall into and before we know it, it's winter. Oooh a nice glass of red to warm the cockles, just one by the fire. A hearty stew sounds good, I'll need more red for that... it's nearly Christmas, it is Christmas, Happy New Year and that'll be the entire winter gone. Wow, winter went quickly, summer already, just a nice cold...Ohhh I have drank away too many years. Not this year!!
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Originally Posted by justhadenough
I know what you mean-currently trying to read posts and Bob the builder at the same time! Hope your DD has a nap and you get some you time.I've got the afternoon off today which is a rare luxury-getting very excited!!
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Originally Posted by SmittyBittyBoo
MTN-thank you so, so much for posting this. It came at a wonderful time for me. For the first time in over a week (I'll be 3 weeks on Monday)-I am feeling the pull. Like really, really bad. One of the things that is keeping me straight is not wanting to throw away all I've worked for (instead of "I've worked so hard, I deserve a drink!)
It's really not worth throwing it all away. I'll vouch for that!
Originally Posted by Sentso
MTN I was actually wondering where you were...
I'm glad you poured the 6 pack down the sink!
You can actually be proud that you fell once and came back on track so fast, it's a good sign.
What would I do without SR? I think I know... and that's why I keep coming back everyday.
So glad to have you back!
I'm glad you poured the 6 pack down the sink!
You can actually be proud that you fell once and came back on track so fast, it's a good sign.
What would I do without SR? I think I know... and that's why I keep coming back everyday.
So glad to have you back!
Can't get rid of me that easily 
And very true... I know what I'd be doing without SR too... Coming back to class properly today so we can all keep a look out for each other again. This'll be the last time I go AWOL!
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Originally Posted by bryangt
T R I G G E R S!! Glad you poured it out--that's saying something. There are triggers around every corner--sounds, smells, sights, sun, someone, the list goes on. Just change gears when you notice a trigger. Take action...pouring down the sink was a solid action. Shows your treasure your sobriety. Hats off & welcome back..
Originally Posted by ultrabunny
Ive been exactly in the same place, over and over and over.
Well done for chucking the beers down the sink.
The sun is a mighty big trigger for me too.
Well done for chucking the beers down the sink.
The sun is a mighty big trigger for me too.
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'm glad you're back MTN
D
D
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Originally Posted by MyTimeNow
Ooooh have fun! Waiting for Peppa Pig on Channel 5 here - the excitement LOL. My afternoon revolves around going to Morrisons. Whoop Whoop! Hope you have something nice planned for yourself
off to the gym(the exercise bug has bitten!!)I need to lose weight and do enjoy it once I get into it after a few weeks-it's just finding the time.Then sauna and a good book!
Hope you have a good day.x
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Originally Posted by neferkamichael
MyTimeNow, you threw the lot down the drain? Well, that's better than throwing it up, you are FANTASTIC. 
Thank you! Yes most probably would have been throwing it up this morning. Certainly would not be feeling good and posting here.
I did consider just putting it all in the bin. Then I KNEW I'd back out later climbing in my bin to retrieve it (in full view of the neighbours!)
Anyone else notice how alcohol smells absolutely rank when you are tipping it away? Does make me wonder how it is supposed to be enjoyable drinking it. I guess we manage to switch off from all the bad parts. Or I do anyway.
Right, better get off my bum now and make a start on the day. Have a good one everybody
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MyTimeNow, I quit smoking cigarettes June 5th of this year and I was riding my bicycle, and I passed this bar and I was on the other side of the street and got this awful rank smell of alcohol as I passed by. Unbelievable.
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Originally Posted by neferkamichael
MyTimeNow, I quit smoking cigarettes June 5th of this year and I was riding my bicycle, and I passed this bar and I was on the other side of the street and got this awful rank smell of alcohol as I passed by. Unbelievable.
I have only been in a bar or pub a couple of times since they brought in the smoking ban in the UK (home alone drinker). Not only outside now is the brewery/boozy smell rank, but without the mask of cigarette smoke, the inside just smells of booze, drunken mens farts and sweat! Mmmmm nice *shudder*
So.... back to the real reason I am posting...
I have really been struggling this afternoon. I was SO CLOSE to heading back to the shops to replace that 6 pack. Stupidly close. I'm really shocked. I have not been this bad since I joined. I have had to take some time out to think about it.
And with time out I think therein lies the problem. What's different? Well it's the school holidays, so no school (obviously) and no nursery. I have a 14 DS and home and a 3 year old DD. I'm on my own with them and my word do they bicker and fight!!! Drives me insane! There are teenage tantrums, terrible 3's tantrums and my tantrums trying to keep the peace! There is no break.
When I first joined, DD was at nursery 3 afternoons a week, DS at school, then usually out most evenings after school so I had a lot of time to think, reflect, make a plan, stick to a plan and if the worst came to the worst, get my head down for a nap until a craving had passed. I was happily in a routine and now I feel out of sorts.
DS is not playing out, why? I don't know. We've had the hottest week here this year after months of rain so DD has not been sleeping well, we all seem out of sorts. DS doesn't want to come out if I suggest a day somewhere, just grumps, DD can't handle it because she is tired from not sleeping and in the midst of them bickering I just think Gahhh!!! I want some peace/sleep/beer ANYTHING!!
I'm ok now - DD has fallen asleep, not the best timing at teatime but hey I'll take an hour. I'm glad I've identified the problem and am dealing with it by posting.
What can I do to change it so that I don't have 6 more weeks of this? Well... I'll have some more money saved by next week and I am planning on joining the gym (again!) It means I can be up and out with DD by 9am and in the pool with her (whilst DS sleeps extended teenage hours) there is also a creche should I fancy a bit of peace to do my own thing and DS is now at the age where he'll be allowed to join me on a PAYG basis should he ever fancy exercising with his old mum... also a swim should ensure DD is worn out and has a nap in the afternoon thus allowing me some free time either way. Roll on next Wednesday!
I've just scrolled up... Huge post! I needed to get that out there!
And... relax
I think I'll use this thread for my daily waffle to see me through the rough times!
Free chocolate to anybody that got to the end!
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Originally Posted by Pondlady
Ready for my free chocolates
Please send your address to:
Endlessstreamofblaaaah
Typetoofasttoomuchandwaffle INC
Rambleton
Wittershire
UK
on receipt, a tonne of the finest quality Belgian chocs will wing their way to you ASAP
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Originally Posted by Dee74
You can do this MTN
D
D
I've had a tough night. I don't care to elaborate as it feels so personal, my much loved DS has upset me incredibly. Harsh words said in the moment or a deeper resentment? The latter I fear. It's something I need to work through. Without meaning to sound harsh, DD was not planned. I was DS's all and his only until she came along and now neither of us seem to get any time.
I have a lot of things to sort. It was all too easy to let things slide.
Facing up is heartbreaking. I never wanted this. I just hoped everything would be ok. Ha
Challenges...
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Sorry you're having a rough day. So good you're sober to be able to fully process everything. I know when i was drunk and upset it was so easy for me to just blow off my emotions. In the end it made me feel less human. Be strong. You can do this. We're here if you need us.
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