changer

africagirl- your post reminds me a lot of my first post here!
it's wonderful that you've decided to take this first step
i certainly was overwhelmed with guilt and remorse and humiliation when i first got sober. as a friend told me last night 'none of us came in on a winning streak'!
just try to focus on the little things, and don't allow those feelings to take control. welcome to the community

Live2Run25

The way I think about it, we can't change what has already been done. All you can you do is stay sober, and move forward. Make every day count. Each day you are strong and sober you get further away from your mistakes. Thinking about being sober and knowing that I can't do things like that again, really get me through.

Africagirl

Thank you for the generous response to my post. I am, to be frank, so surprised, that there are so many people out there, who without knowing me at all, still seem to know. My heart feels ready to burst from gratefulness in these responses. Thank you so much. This has given me strength - as you all know, a primary weapon right now.

A few of you have asked me whether I have a plan. Well, to be honest, I am not sure. I am frantically searching for something constructive to do - start walking the neighbours dogs, help out soup kitchens, even perhaps starting to pray again.

And yes. AA.

Thank you again. So much!
AG

micealc

We care because we have been there....I wish you the Best for today.

soberbrooke

My misery was rampant while I was drinking. I am now a sober, happy person, able to contribute to society again!!

NatalieN

AG do find a program of recovery, if AA is what you have in mind, go to meetings, get a sponsor and do everything they suggest. Whatever approach you use make sure you follow through. Our human minds are programmed to forget pain and suffering. The shame and guilt so evident on your first post will fade away and you will begin to rationalize and justify the awful behavior, that's why it is crucial that you adopt a program that will assist you with a life style change. It is my experience and that of countless others struggling with alcohol that nothing changes if nothing changes. The habits that led us to consume alcohol must be replaced.

I had to stop my Sunday cooking marathons where I would prepare various yummy and complicated dishes for the week ahead with lots and lots of wine, some of which I used in the recipes but must ended in my stomach. I now get healthy take-out a few times per week and cook simple and fast meals the rest of the days. My kitchen could still be a trigger for me. I only have close to 3 months of sobriety so I am still very careful around those people, places and things that used to trigger me.

What a great idea to volunteer at a soup kitchen!!

Come back to tell us how you're doing. It's great to have you here.

Natalie