MsAprilJ

So its day three and I am really struggling. I have been pissed off for the past 3-days. EVERYTHING gets on my nerves! I am just so irritible!!! Has anyone else experienced this? I really just want to have a drink right now, just to wind down from a long day!!! My logical mind tells me that I that plan probably won't turn out well but my addict mind is telling me that I can handle it. My addict mind says, "what's the big deal?" "So what if you want to have a couple of cocIktails or a glass of wine.... You deserve it, you are and adult, why should you feel like you CAN'T?" Meanwhile, I have to put on a nice front for my family and act like nothing is wrong. But that isn't working out very well because I have been a total bitch to my boyfriend anyway and it feels like everything he does just irritates the hell out of me! I just feel like I'm going crazy and I'm going to cave.

NoFireWater

Day 3 is really hard-hang in there! Yes, anger is definitely an emotion you'll be dealing with-it seems unfair we have to deal with this problem when others don't have the same issues we do. It's harder in the summer when more is going on too, IMO. Maybe try to watch some movies where you can just tune out and not have to deal with anyone. Can you share this with your family and boyfriend instead of putting up a good front? They may be able to give you space and support to help you continue your good work so far...

Anna

It's a bit of a roller-coaster ride once you confront your addiction. Try to remember that your addiction is working extra hard right now, because it knows that it's losing. Congratulations on Day 3 sober.

Soberween

I remember being a complete psycho bitch on day 3. I was completely irrationally irritated. You just are going to have to ride it out. I'm sorry that it is so hard, but it really does get easier. Try to keep busy and eat something.

Live2Run25

I agree with everyone else.. Ride the emotional rollercoaster. It didn't take 3 days to become and addict, and it's not going to take 3 days to get better. 3 days is amazing. Keep it up!

TorontoGuy28

What you are feeling is normal... Hang in there ! It does get better.

I still have bad days, but deal with them much better sober.

freshstart57

Your addiction has an idea about what is up and is screaming bloody murder. It is starting to roll out the heavy artillery now. There used to be a time when all it had to say was, 'It's Miller time!', and the tops would start popping. Now it is much harder, and you are hearing the more insidious stuff like, It's just not worth it, You deserve a drink now because you've been good, it is not actually a problem after all, and the real doozy, You will never be able to quit drinking.

This is the voice of your addiction yelling at you, but it can't do any more than that. It can't go to the wine and spirits section of the store, it can't put it in the cart, and it certainly can't pay for it (doesn't have any money, never does). All it can do is to try to convince you to do it.

But you are in control, you don't act on every thought, and you have decided that you don't act on these thoughts in particular any more. What if you decide that you are actually pretty pleased with yourself? What if you decide that it is your addiction that is really the part that is upset, cranky, irritable?

Pay attention to these thoughts when they come, and stare them down. They will go away if you turn the light on them. Then you can get back to looking after you.

HarleyDaddy

Do women experience this emotional side effect of early sobriety more than men? I'm asking a logical question, not trying to be a tool.

I'm on day 11 and I have yet to have any anger. In fact I seem happier and less bothered by things. Seems a lot of the rage posts I see are from females. Wondered if it was a biological difference or if I'm just the random weirdo that didn't get the rage response

Gerbosko

Yeah cause drinking REALLY helps you wind down for the day

Oddly enough, I wind down from a long day with sleepy time tea, which helps you actually relax.

It's not your boyfriends problem. Quitting drinking is not easy, but you have to quit in a state of mind where you know for sure that you're done. If you're having the "oh I shouldn't of quit because...." type feelings, you're going to relapse. I don't want to see you relapse. Go on walks, drink tons of water, and take a step back and realize that you're doing this for YOU - Do you want to get better or not? Being angry towards your recovery is not even laughable.

sugarbear1

It is not necessarily a female thing, although hormones can play a part in it. It's a human thing and we are all different.

The emotional roller coaster can happen to anyone. We numbed ourselves and now we aren't and our bodies need to get normal again.

Stay strong, stay stopped, and give time time.

DisplacedGRITS

hi April! i went through that not long ago. i swear, i couldn't stop getting pissed at my husband and him and i are usually really cool with each other. i damn near snapped his head off over minor days 3 or 4 days in a row. it happens but we can't go back to thinking alcohol is going to solve any of those problems. is it going to relax us? sure. temporarily. it's not going to make anything go away and when that drink is gone and that relaxed feeling leaves us, we're left with that empty feeling alcohol leaves us. and for the alcoholic in recovery, it also leaves guilt, remorse, anger with ourselves, loss of pride, confusion and, in the worst case, weakness to relapse. sometimes, it's best just to let ourselves feel the anger, let it break over us and let it pass through us. it's an emotion and one we will continue to experience throughout our lives. when i was angry as a child i didn't run to the fridge and grab a beer. i just got angry and got over it. it's time to do that again, just without the public tantrums. now, i put myself in a mental time-out, wait for it to pass and, sorry if this sounds harsh, get over it. anger is a part of life. it's gonna happen. it's how we respond to it that defines how we are going to progress in our sobriety.

Missy7

I've had several Day Threes this year and I know that that's the day I'm cranky. It's also a day I tend to relapse. If I get to four I'm pretty good for seven. Then I get complacent. So...take a hot bath. Go to a meeting. Get tired and then get in bed! Day Four is a little easier.

Hang in there.

duane1

Day 3 was always the hardest day for me and I could never get beyond that point, but I did this time and am on day 53. Just stick with it. Your AV is desperate right now and we are behind you.

blakezly

Wow.... same for me... i hated life and everything and one in it.

DisplacedGRITS

oh geeze...i am a dunce. i'm sorry i missed that it was Day 3. i didn't have much anger in my early detoxing stages. i was just so buttwhipped from all the physical detoxing that there wasn't much fighting. yeah, the anger can be really brutal from what i hear but it's still something that you have to let wash over you. maybe try going for a walk. i had more problems with going from happy to depressed in my early stages. i made myself watch funny shows when i was sad or frustrated so i could remember to laugh. Wipeout is a personal favorite of mine. nothing quite like crotch shots and watching people fall hilariously to make me laugh. i'm a gal with simple needs. remember to let yourself laugh early on. you might have to force yourself to do something enjoyable because you really don't feel like it at first but sometimes you'll find yourself eventually smiling in spite of yourself. i hope it turns around for you soon. it will get better.

jennikate

I remember day three as being hellish. I got so mad at my family that I stabbed a Chinese food chopstick through the drywall in my hallway. Better the wall than a person, I guess. It does get better. Way better.

tomsteve

man, i am rather jealous. i was such a miserable wreck and in such a heavy fog that the anger didnt kick in until about the 2nd month. but thats when the real footwork of getting sober started. i knew that blaming everyone and everything for my anger was what got me where i was. trying to blame "them" and get "them" to conform to what i thought "they" should do and say only led me to a drunk. sooo, i had to start lookin at myself. what was really causing the anger? not "their" actions, but what in me was it?
it was an experience i cant explain when i got it from my head to my heart that i wasnt an angry man. i was livin in fear. everytihng that had pissed me off in my past was all related to one or more of the faces of fear.

now i know that if someone says something to me and it irks me, there just may be some valadity to it.

auden67

I have experienced way more anger since becoming sober. It was rough those first weeks. But now, I still get angry occasionally but have built up tools to diffuse it. Plus, it's a fantastic resource to look inside myself and continue growing. Feeling something is good for us! Just be kind to your loved ones; they are not to blame. Keep up your recovery; it gets better!

Nessa828

Ugh, so far day 3 was the worst! I dont blame you for being pissed! I have found every subsequent day to get a bit easier, keep at it!

MyTimeNow

Day 3 and 4 have always been the hardest for me. Stick with it though as it really DOES get better. By the end of day 5 you'll probably be feeling great and then you'll have the motivation to zoom towards a whole week!