Polaroid

*sigh* ... I was doing so well, until I started my 3 week holiday in mid-July.

I went through detox in April. A few days later, I went to rehab, but that was seriously the worst experience ever, so I chose to "sign myself out" before my original discharge date.

Though, after that, someone finally understood. I needed a proper benzo taper plan. Now I'm afraid I'm messing it up by drinking again (it's a strict plan, they need me to deliver a sample every week, to make sure I'm not using anything else - but I have a "break" from that during my vacation).

At the start of this vacation I was just thinking; "well, just one beer is no biggie". And before you know it, down the spiral I go ... It's such a classic scenario, isn't it?

So, now ... I seem to be back to the point where I get awfully anxious, shaking, etc, if I don't have a drink or two... things weren't like this when my doctor first agreed to give me a taper plan.

Ugh - this is a tough battle... & sorry, I just had to "shout" this out..

bbthumper

For me, after receiving medical care, I needed a program of recovery. There was a lot more wrong with me than the physical side of this disease. I found my answer in AA. Through the process of working the 12 steps, I am free from the obsession to drink. I know longer have that nagging voice that tells me "one beer will be alright" Or "this time will be different.

Medical care is important and in many cases necessary, but most people find that after the physical removal from alcohol has taken place, they need to treat the real problem.

Good luck to you. Follow doctors orders and maybe consider AA.

Polaroid

Thanks for the reply, BB.

I'd consider AA if the closest meetings from here weren't 3 hours away.
I know what you mean by getting into a program after medical care, though.

Anyways... I'll be going to eat with my family now - As for my drink, I'll just order a coffee ... hopefully. Cappuccinos are delicious

RobbyRobot

Yeah, mixing alcohol with benzo's is a dangerous practice, as you know, of course. It goes to show just how life-threatening addictions often are... we have often known the consequnces, and go ahead and use anyways...

Best to work again with your doctor ASAP and do another medical detox perhaps? one better suited to your circumstances?

Many different programs and/or paths are availble for your post-detox recovery journey. Lotsa information about all that on SR.



Best and good wishes, Polaroid.

2granddaughters

I find it hard to believe that a meeting is 3 hrs away anywhere in the world.... middle of the Sahara maybe.

If you heard they were giving out free booze, crack and smack 3 hrs away you would find a way to get there... often.

If you aren't ready to take certain steps you are wasting your time.

I wish you the best.

Bob R

Polaroid

Trust me when I say the nearest AA meetings are 3 hours away. I've done the research. I'm living in a small, isolated valley - I'll even have to bus for 20 minutes to get to the closest liquor store (and that's so sad it's almost funny).

I guess that's why I take the bus for nearly half an hour (hell, one hour return) to get my "fix".

Thank you, Bob.

Polaroid

It's probably not popular to endorse benzos here, but those are what gave me a life. Alcohol is what destroyed it.

Thanks for the good wishes though. =]

Dee74

I'm sorry to see you're struggling Polaroid.

Have you any ideas on what you can do, right now, to get back into and stay in recovery?

D

SeekSobriety

Thank the universe for the Internet! There are multiple on line and phone meetings everyday!!!

Check out
Online Intergroup : Alcoholics Anonymous

AAOnline.net--Realtime Open AA Meetings on the Internet
Also

All the best! Please Let us know how it goes!