mecanix

I believe myself to be an alcoholic , once i have a drink i can't very often stop untill i pass out or run out of drink . In a social situation i can be quite controlled but it's a white knuckle experience . Also my propencity for drinking slowly got worse over the years from two pints of cider in 1990 to two bottles of spirit in 2011 .

I think sobering up is one part of the problem but then i believe, if like me one may have used alcohol as ones main emotional crutch, then it's obvious that one needs to learn new ways of dealing and coping with lifes ups and downs and the past . Thats quite often where i need a plan .

AA ? well i found the big book online useful in parts, if i feel stuck and i'm at risk of drinking again i'll kick down their door to join in .. at the moment i'm doing ok with my eclectic, take whats useful and move on approach . I have alway felt the answers were in my own heart and head if i only had the right understanding and right perception . My acid head parents were very good at giving me confidence on doing what seems right for me, my rough and ready version of bhuddism seems to work well for me .

Who knows what tommorow holds ? All i know is that we are all going to die within the next 80 years or so, so let's try not to argue and enjoy what we have left , it's really rather beutiful.
What a great day to get the maximum depth of living out of, i can only do that with clear perception .

best wishes , M

instant

I,m 14 months without AA and without 'doing the steps' . I do think there is a lot of wisdom in the collective knowledge, and I loved the big book.

We all row our own boat. Don,t get tied up in sqabbles, it's a distraction

Good luck

Hollyanne

khgmr63,
Jeeze, where did you come up with the name????
OK, my opinion is this.

NO program works without the WILLINGNESS to go to any lengths to stop drinking.

One can go to any number of meetings, therapists, rehabs etc, but in the end, one has to just suck up all the discomfort and yuckiness of quitting.

Once we have quit, we may or may not be content.
If we are not content, we must dig deeper and make changes.
To lifestyle, acquaintances, family dynamics, work, personality, habits, outlook etc.

Just forgot to point out, that you seem to have the willingness and strong desire to quit. A darn good start!

FBL

I'm a little over 3 years sober without AA or any other so-called "program". I certainly don't begrudge anyone who uses one of those programs (in fact, AA probably saved my dad's life nearly 30 years ago). The one thing we all have in common is the desire to live a happily sober life. I'm doing that every day and I wish everyone here the same.

keithj

Hi khgmr63,

I'm a long term member of AA, and I live by the directions in the BB. When I sponsor guys, we go through the BB in great detail, discuss our own personal experience as it relates to the content there, and following the specific and precise directions for how those founding members took the Steps and recovered from alcoholism.

I do this because it works, and because it is the common solution in AA. It is the only solution that AA offers, and it's proven effective for a couple of million people. I will never tell a newcomer that the are going to drink or going to die if they don't have a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps. I will merely share what's worked for me and for everybody else I know in the program. If you can stay sober without that, and many can, more power to you. It's just not what we do in AA.

Every year in AA, I see a hundred new people come in, and watch them fail to stay sober over the next year or two. They all say basically the same thing and give the same reasons for not engaging in the program of recovery that has worked for the rest of us in AA. It's kind of tragic and heartbreaking to keep watching those trainwrecks, but until a person can get a grip on powerlessness over alcohol from the AA perspective, there is very little can offer in the way of recovery. It can offer a lot of fellowship, some new friends, and some fun. But there isn't much recovery going on, and I can't tell you how many people I've bumped into a year or two later who were doing so well at one time, but were not convinced that they needed to enlarge their spiritual life. I find them back in the drug court programs, back in the jails, and back in the rooms once again equally convinced that they don't have to do the same things that the other sober members of AA have found necessary.

tomsteve

i am also an AA member and once had a pretty huge ego that siad AA is the only way. what caused it was i was folowing int he footsteps of some still sick people in AA with huge egos. thats not mental, emotional, or spiritual sobriety, which i really wanted.
when i got a new sponsor, he got pretty brutal on me. would say things like, " tom, i've been sober 25+ years through AA. show me where in the BB that AA as a whole says it is the only way to get and stay sober because all i have read is that AA as a whole says it has found a solution that works pretty good, but it may not be for everyone and we engourage people to find whatever way works for them. outr hats off to them. now, i am am not gonna tell ya how many meetings you should go to because goin to meetings and not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism. in fact, some people spend their time going to meetings without realizing they are avoiding the outside world and AA says the program will help us become active, productive members of society. how can you be an active, productive member of society when yer in meetings all the time? besides, it's easy to talk the talk in a meeting. the real footwork is all them other hours in the day when you arent at meetings. now, it's time for you to take off the underoos, put on some thightie whities and suck em up."
or something to that effect.

today, i dont care what method a person uses to get and stay sober. i just want to see people get and stay sober and i will tryto help when/where i can. it is a true blessing to watch and hear others get sober and all the light bulds go off for them.

least

I've got over two years sober, happily so, with the help of my counselor and this site. Any method of recovery can work for you if you work it as if your life depends on it.

bbthumper

For me AA has been the only thing that works, but I have no doubt that sobriety can be achieved through other methods. Any AA who denies that probably has their ego tied up in this thing. We tip our hats to anyone who can quit drinking regardless of methods.

If someone comes and asks me for help in AA then that is the point where I tell them that steps and meetings are essential to their sobriety. Its the only way I know to help.

If you got something else that works, thats great!

Innerchild

Congrats on two weeks sober. AA taught me I was powerless over alcohol and is transforming my life. I need faith, a sponsor and people in the AA network who understand what I am going through, kick me in the butt when I need it to stay sober.

I havent met anyone in the rooms who push AA but they like to help and support newcomers with what works for them. We are all different and if AA doesnt work for you thats great. We all create our own path in life.

gaffo

I'm almost nine months w/out any type of program except SR. I have had all kinds of excuses for not going to AA and at this point I don't see myself starting but if I felt that I needed AA to stay sober I wouldn't hesitate. When I was a drinker I couldn't understand why anyone would choose to be so miserable all the time. I just didn't get it. Being hung over and ashamed is miserable. Sobriety is empowering. Whatever it takes to tap into that power is great.

A couple of observations about AA from a recovering alcoholic who isn't in AA:

There are going to be jerks in any organization.

People don't go to AA to pet each other's fur. They go to save their own lives. Social niceties are way down on the list.

All those AA "cliches" like "one day at a time" and the serenity prayer are handy for everyone.

Most if not all of my objections to AA can be traced back to that stupid Alcoholic Voice screaming "NOOOOOOOO!!!"

onlythetruth

I'm almost 14 years too. Not an AAer.

Different strokes for different folks.

2granddaughters

Go to the meetings to hear what the oldtimers have to say and keep going until what you heard makes sense.

Don't quit because "it doesn't seem right" or "why don't they do that". It's your job to fit into AA, not for AA to fit you.
If you do what feels comfortable you will likely end right back where you were when you got here.

AA is the most un-natural thing for most folks I know but it is exactly what we need. Like Buckleys... tastes horrible, works great.

All the best.

Bob R

Db1105

I've been clean and sober for 34 years. I stared off with both AA and Na, but drifted away from NA a free a few years. Stopping drugs was no problem, the drinking I had absolutely no control over.

I've never been a Big Book thumper but subscribed to the sentence in How it Works where I have to completely give myself to this simple program. That what I had to do for awhile before I could start no live a normal life. I spent the first few years doing nothing but AA. Lucky for me I came in at my late teens and had nothing. Slowly through time, AA became part of my life instead of the only thing in my life.

I worked the steps out of the Big Book, but really helped me was the 12 & 12, and a lot of step meetings discussing them, then applying them in life. What really made me comfortable and help me to work the steps was that they are SUGESTED. If they were the 12 commandment, my selfish ass would been out the door at the first meeting. I didn't do well with authority figures, 10 commandments, the laws of the land, or anything else when I first came in. Suggestions I could handle, and I did.

For some people, they need the Big Book thumping type of recovery and a sponsor who needs to boot them in the ass, and tell them how to live. Some need only to be guided and directed. The only problem I see is the Big Book thumpers who believe everyone needs what I call the Fundementalist my way or the highway, AA is the only way type of recovery. I just avoid those people.

AA doesn't work for everyone and there are other methods out there. It's worked for me for a long time. I found a homegroup who's group conscience was more in the philosophy of my brain. It was new at the time, there are many of us still sober three decades later. Some still make it to that meeting and a lot more are scattered around the country still sober. Find some others who's recovery attracts you and are working a good program and stick with them. But don't write off the Big Book thumpers. Listen to their message, it works. I believe it's the 12 Traditions that they tend to forget about.

CarolD

QQuitting alcohol was not my only goal....tho until I did that
I did not take positive action to become the woman
I desperately wanted to bee.

Not until I settled down and begin working the AA Steps
did I find a fantastic new life over 23 years ago.

Certainly I want everyone to expereince the freedom and joy
that I have....so why would I not suggest AA?

If you do decide to walk in our rooms....please don't just
sit there....get busy and find your true sober self..

If you don't want to follow the program...it will not deter
me from continueing to move forward with mine..

CarolD

khgmr63....
Well done on your early sobreity....
Hope you continue to have a sober productive future.

Pondlady

I attended an AA meeting last night with a friend. It was the first time I went since last summer. I stopped drinking a little over a month ago. My Dad and sister both quit cold turkey. I too think I am capable of that. I think AA gives thought to the underlying reasons we chose to drink and I like that about AA. No one was pushy...quite the opposite...they were just happy to meet me. I was impressed with the long record of sobriety many folks had at this meeting.

I will not go every day, but would very much enjoy occasional meetings....gives me food for thought.

miamifella

AA is a great place to start since it is always easy to find meetings and it can get you thinking about what recovery should be. And it also works for a great many people.

But it is not necessarily the right path for any individual. But I think you have to be willing to give it a shot.

We are all desperate to keep recovering. I think the dogmatism of the thumpers comes out of a need to convince themselves that they are following something that will work for them completely.

But part of recovery is learning to be comfortable in your own skin. They need to learn that knowing their recovery program is working for them is good enough--they do not need convince others to convince themselves. But you also will need to learn how to have your own thoughts without getting resentful at those who feel differently.

As your own recovery becomes stronger, the thumpers will bug you less and less. And you will be able to separate the truth from the b.s. in what they say to you.

freshstart57

This sort of misinformation does a disservice to newcomers to sobriety and SR in my opinion. Apart from the wide choice of other methods of attaining sobriety that are discussed here on SR, isn't it obvious that people stopped drinking before AA? OK, it isn't obvious to some. That makes me ask, how does this obvious fact sorta slip through?

I don't hit a year for a couple of weeks yet, so there is that.

2granddaughters

I'm sure a lot of problem drinkers and hard drinkers stopped but countless alcoholics died horrible deaths.

Isn't it obvious that AA wouldn't have taken off worldwide if people could "just say no".

You are correct, misinformation does do disservice and irreparable damage.

All the best.

Bob R

onlythetruth

AA did take off wildly at first, but its worldwide membership is the same as, or slightly lower today than it was 20 years ago.

The notion that it is the only thing that "really works" is simply wrong, and repeating the idea does a grave disservice to people it doesn't suit.

All of us deserve to pursue the recovery path that works for us, and no one should ever, ever be told that there is only one way that works.

AA is a great program for many people, but is definitely not for everyone.