Therealmrsc

I'm new here, I've been sober since Feb 25th and today is my biggest struggle - I desperately want to drive to my favorite liquor store and buy just one bottle of my favorite wine. It's been increasingly on my mind, I even dreamed about it this week. Seeing my favorite bottle on the shelf, paying for it, going home and pulling the cork, reaching for my favorite wine glass, feeling how cool the glass gets when I pour the chilled wine into it. I can literally feel the corners of my mouth starting to water. Please help me. I feel like one set back and I will be back on that slippery slope. In the last 12 months I have endured a bitter divorce, an unexpected out of wedlock pregnancy at 40, a miscarriage, a new marriage and a job change. I am also the mother of a teenage son and the primary wage earner in my family, I hold a highly visible position that allows or no screw ups. Some days I just want to fall back into the comfort I find in the bottom of a bottle. Help.

sharp75

i dont really know if this is helpful but could you not try buying sparkling water and put it in your wne glass and psycologically it may help.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Therealmrsc

I think all of us have faced a situation like this - it's what we do in response that counts

You've made a great move coming here - there's a ton of support and advice here.

For me, I never forget - a drink will make nothing better - and make everything worse.

You can do this - stick close for a while

D

Therealmrsc

It's that warm fuzzy feeling I crave, the numbness, the cheery rose colored glasses. I know it's the wrong thing to do but the "want" is so overpowering I can't stop thinking about it.

chicory

Therealmrsc,

Can you try thinking for a while on how you feel in the aftermath ? How do you feel in the morning? is it worth it, and how bad did you get before you did this awesome thing called Sober since Feb 25th?
You can do this- you are doing it!

Gerbosko

You can also get that same exact feeling when you use ice and water .

Dee74

Like Chicory said - playing the tape through - remembering exactly where that drink lead us in the past - often helped me.

This technique helped me too:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

why do you think you want that feeling especially today?

do you really think you'd get it?

D

Hevyn

Welcome to the family! We all understand how that feels - looking for the old comfort and warmth. You gave it up for a good reason, though. Try to remember how you felt when you kicked it out of your life. It can't truly do a thing to change what's going on. I'm sorry to hear of all you've been through, but you need a clear head to deal with all the challenges. Getting drunk will just bring misery and regret.

I didn't follow my own advice, of course. I stayed numb and foggy for years so I wouldn't have to face reality. It was the worst thing I could've done, since I caused myself a whole set of problems on top of the original ones. You're right - you risk going back down that slope again. We hope you won't do it - and that you'll stay here with us.

Therealmrsc

I want that feeling today because I'm home alone tonight, my husband works swing shift, and my son, who turns 16 next week, and I had plans for pizza and DVD's which is our favorite Friday night thing when it's just the two of us. His father, from whom I have been divorced less than a year, always manipulates his time with our son so that it encroaches on what should be my time with our son. My ex is very controlling and manipulative in a very sly way - its what he does for a living and he's so good at it that my son doesn't see it for what it is. The frustration of fighting this invisible fight with my ex over our son has worn me down of late and combined with being alone and being frustrated I guess the urge has fought its way to the top.

In answer to an earlier question - I drank every single night, not to the point of passing out but to the point of heavy impairment. My ex husband was/is also a heavy drinker, much heavier than me and for a much longer period of time. Our nights consisted of getting hammered. We were very toxic for each other.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

Have you found other ways to cope with things since you stopped drinking? I know I had too much going on in my life and I had to learn to relax and just be. I found that music helped a lot, playing with my cats, walking. Have you found things that help you relax?

aasharon90

I could never drink one glass of wine,
21 yrs ago nor can drink it sucessfully
today or ever because as much as I
love it, it definitely doesnt like me and
there will never be enough alcohol in
this world to satisy my cravings or desire
for it.

To day dream about alcohol or poison for
me is merely occupying space in my mind
and have to get rid of it quickly. Why wish
for something that tried to destroy me in more
ways than one. What's the point.

Saying the Serenity prayer over and over
in my mind until those thoughts went away
helped me out a many a times in early recovery.

Also a program of recovery used in all
situations in my life has definitely kept me
sober a many one days at a time to get me
where I am today.

It can be for you too.

sharp75

in my opinion you should get yourself to bed (dont know what time it is whre you are) as the more you talk and dwell over it the more tempted you will be(in my oopinion hte more people tell me not to drink the more i become tempted to have 1 more drink). speak to a doctor ask about craving medication but even if you do get the meds please dont use that as an excuse to have 1 last drink as i have done that many times and it has started me back onto the road of destruction.

Dee74

I can understand why that upsets you MrsC.
Drinking's not the answer tho - you'd only feel worse tomorrow - much worse.

As regards your son...If your ex is being manipulative, no matter how good he is at that, truth will always out in my experience....

I'm sorry tonight is lonely but I hope you'll see your son soon? You can pizza and DVD then

D

freshstart57

Willpower works like garbage if you are trying to use it not to do something, sorta like being told not to think about an elephant. It works much better if you use it to help you to do something positive, in this case, something other than drinking. What have you got? Maybe some exercise, going for a walk, instead?

MsJax

Hi mrsc I can sure relate to a lot of your post. Especially the work stuff with no room for screw ups. Mine's like that too. None. Everything I do is so visible, so noticed! I feel like I am "acting" at work. I guess that's ok though. Pays the bills well.

You have almost 5 months sober. What an accomplishment & I'm sure if you think about it, maybe write it all down, you'll see & appreciate the changes you have made in your life by being free of the booze. Sorry about the carp with the ex too. By giving in, you let him win. Don't do that! And my heart goes out to your in your pregnancy and miscarriage .

You have some alone time right? What can you do that feels good & facilitates your health and sobriety? Read? Write? Call a friend or loved one? Take a long, long walk? Even at night, I love the stillness of a night walk. Stay on SR for sure. Count your blessings. You can do it and get through. Morning will break.

sharp75

can i add that i have joined a gym, its not a gym where you pay as you go as id quit after the 1st day so i have become a member so wether i go or not ill still be charged so it will motivate me to go and i know this will help me to not drink. if you done something similar your son would love and respect you so much more than his father who (like you said) has the same problem yet YOU are the one on this site seeking guidance

Twelvecans

Congratulations, thats a great achievement. 7

RevivingOphelia

The only thing that would work for me is to quickly crawl in bed with the phone, order a pizza and watch mindless tv while surfing on here.

I hope you feel better and that the craving passes.