Stryfe

As alcoholics, our own minds are own worst enemy. I was offered a commission only sales job recently. Being a flat broke desperate unemployed college grad, I accepted the opportunity. But I am no salesman and I am very, very shy. I will not be able to do this job. The job entailed a lot of cold calling which I hate. I was really stressed out about calling random businesses and bothering people. The thought popped in my head yesterday that a "couple" of drinks would take the edge off of annoying business people doing cold calls. Well, those "couple" of drinks turned out to be three 10% beers and three margaritas over the course of four hours with no food on my stomach. By 6 PM, I was plastered. I also drove home like an idiot. By the grace of God, I didn't get pulled over or hurt anybody or myself. I threw up all night and all morning. Alcohol took me back to that deep, dark place that I used to live. I cried.

I called my sponsor this morning in complete honesty. I am going to a meeting tonight and picking up my <24 hour chip.

Ultimately, I know why I relapsed. I still had my own ideas about recovery. I was on the marijuana maintenance program. Even though I wasn't drinking, I was smoking weed almost everyday. This might be fine and dandy for a non-alcoholic, but not for us. I had to learn that the hard way. I was hanging out with a couple of guys who would let me smoke weed if I acted like a taxi for them and drove them around. Pure active alcoholic behavior at its finest.

I am taking a stand by changing my phone number today so I will no longer hear from the pot smoking leaches. I am so lucky to live in the DC Area which has a spectacular youth fellowship. I'm going to be sticking with the winners instead of the losers from now on.

Does anyone here have any inspiring stories of how relapse turned into recovery?

doggonecarl

Not sure how inspiring it is, but it took the last relapse to convince me I had a problem. Before the relapse, I just figured I drank too much and if I really decided to quit, I could.

Wrong.

Blessed to be sober 22 months.

Lost3000

I'm really sorry to hear about your story. I'm nearing the end of my 7th month and so of course your post caught my eye.

I have a past with weed, and there have been times during the last 7 months I thought about it. I guess b/c it's not booze our minds think it's ok. Anything but drink, right? I realized the error in my thinking and cut it off quickly. For me, it was just another tactic to smother out any feelings I might have and not want to deal with, or experience.

Good luck on your path.

PaperDolls

The last time I relapsed it was on the eve of 8 months sober. It turned into a 4 day bender. I nearly lost my job but got myself into rehab.

Today, I've been sober for a bit and have never been happier. It is possible if you let go of the reins and do the work. AA helped save my life.

Stryfe

Sobering up after New Year's Eve? Classic. :rotfxko Laughing with you.

sugarbear1

booze & weed went within days of eachother. working on cigs now.

start over!

love,

Lily

Yes! I had been clean for a while and then started using pills again....wasn't long before I was snorting them.

I came to the end of myself by Gods grace, nothing bad had to happen to wake me up and I got up, brushed myself off and dug into my recovery. Also my church and bible studies helped a lot! I also quit surrounding myself w/ people who were gossips, negative, etc. (actually that took care of itself when i changed.)

Just never stay down, keep getting back up and moving forward!

blessings, Lily

Lost3000

I never thought of it that way, but yeah, that is funny.