Didn't drink last night
 

Formal introduction...evilk is just fine for now. I've been wanting to quit for a long time now. My husband and I are very heavy drinkers. We drink at home pretty much. There's always a bottle or a second stashed. When garbage day comes around and we take out the garbage from our bedroom, I'm always surprised at just how many empties there are. I've been trying to get healthy for awhile now. I'm eating better and exercising, but eventually I just say screw it because I'm not losing weight anyway. I'm sure the booze is a major factor.

So yesterday was my first post. I left work taking a 1/2 day because I just couldn't be here. I knew I still had alcohol in my blood and I felt awful. I told my husband last night after he poured my welcome home shot that I wasn't going to drink and he said, "Good for you!" I told him it's been affecting me badly and I want to stop and I think he should too. (We've talked like this before) He just said yeah... and when I went downstairs to refill my water, I heard him pouring another shot. He knew I wasn't feeling well, so we just kind of hung out around the house. Got some food, watched movies in bed. Despite the temptation, I didn't drink last night. Tonight is Friday and I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff though. Usually we pick up the "big bottle"(1.75 of whiskey) on the way home from work and the first shot is before we get home...

I started with just a couple drinks on the weekend occasionally when we met and I can now keep up with my husband. I'm not saying it's his fault, but I wanted to have fun along with him. Otherwise it's like we're in 2 separate worlds. I like getting buzzy with him. We have fun...mostly. Sometimes I have too much and I'm not so much fun, but I really hate what it's doing do me physically and emotionally. Like right now. My head feels spinny and I didn't even drink last night.

I did well, but I'll be feeling better later. I guess I'm really worried about when the "Never drink again" feeling wears off. It always does.

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad that you have decided to stop drinking. It's clearly a healthy decision for your well-being - physically, mentally and spiritually. I found that making changes in my routines really helped me get through the early days. :)

Anna hit it...'making changes'...often hard to do but if you try to add positive structure and activities to your 'routine' or life, it comes easier with time. One thing that was somewhat difficult for me was I found I had a lot of 'down time' when I removed drinking from my routine. At first I was very active--doing a lot of outside chores, bike riding, working out ect...I had all this extra energy all of the sudden. And I must say it is awesome to wake up on a weekend morning and get right to doing something rather than nursing a hangover!!

Hello evilk,
I'm sober for 321 days now . When i started it was just 2 pints of cider to get me drunk . When i quit 22 years later it was about 2 or 3 bottles of spirit per weekend . I'm an alcoholic if i drink it only gets worse and my life only goes the same way .

The only way i've found of steadily making my life better is complete abstinance day by day, then working on how to give myself the best life and working on being the best me i can be .

I've done it thus far, you can as well, if you want it.
There is a wealth of experience, strength, hope and knowledge here if you want to make use of it . There are different methods of attaining and maintaining sobriety here, why not try one that speaks to you and start learning . Take what you can and leave the rest .

bestwishes, M

Welcome to SR :) it's a great place here... you'll find lots of support and understanding and SO much good advice. Congratulations on making the decision to get sober and for being sober last night. Not giving in to temptation is tough but it gets easier with time... old habits do get replaced and soon enough you'll not even consider it. Keep us updated and stay strong. You CAN do this. All the best.

Thanks. I'm actually in a recipe club and do cooking contests. Right now believe it or not, I'm training for my first triathlon...just a super sprint. (shorty) I've been doing my workouts before I get plowed. It's an amazing balancing act. We quit for a month earlier in the year and that's what got me into it. I was at the gym every day trying to keep busy. If I can get out of the house without doing the 2-3 shot prep, I'm usually okay. Burning the candle at both ends is an understatement.

We used to skydive when we first met. Can you imagine a couple of drunks skydiving?

We're both kind of obsessive, depressive adenaline junkies on a roller coaster from hell. Some weekends we're just drunk for the whole thing. We're getting older though and it's a lot harder to keep up. Thanks for the welcomes.

Congrats on day one evilk :)

D

evilk - I relate completely. Long ago, my husband and I were the same type of drinkers. What we evolved into was tragic. No one ever questioned it, just kept trying to control it - with disastrous results. We didn't want the party to end, but it did - in a way we could never have imagined or predicted. (He is gone now, and I'm finally 4-1/2 yrs. sober, thanks to SR.)

You've taken a brave step. I'm glad you're here and willing to discuss what's going on. We're all with you.

3 months later...
I only lasted a day sober. I've been very sick. Vomiting and nausea mostly. My husband suggested I switch to wine. WTF am I doing?? Last night I was passed out by 7 p.m., woke up got sick and I only had 5 shots. I was easily drinking twice that. It seems like my body isn't processing it anymore. Since mid September my resistance has gone to nothing. I'm instantly drunk. Is that even possible?




:winterd

Yes.

I'm afraid it's very possible evilk. I was that way by the end.

I wanted to change my life - so I made changes.

I guess the question now is what are you prepared to do about this, evilk?

D

Thanks I think I'm going to call my doctor and see about getting tested.

My dog died of cancer this weekend and I felt so much pain. I don't want to cause my family the type of grief I've been feeling...self induced no less.

Hi and welcome. I think you have a very smart idea about seeing your doctor. Please do follow through with that and make it your first priority. This site has been a huge help to me. It really can provide support and input but we certainly can not and are not allowed to give medical advice so please do seek that out right away. Before, during and after though, please be sure to keep coming back here to read and post. That atleast helps me.

Congratulations on your decision. It is the right one.

Wishing you peace, comfort, and strength.

Blood work is set up for tomorrow morning. I know this sounds completely whacked, but I'm hoping it's not good. Maybe it'll keep me on track. Maybe my husband will take me seriously when I tell him I'm scared for how we're living too. It's pretty hard to laugh off a doctor's report.

Evilk - I am not an alcoholic but my husband is - he was sober 10 years until a recent relapse, but that is another story. I am glad you are paying attention to what your body is telling you and are going to the Doctor tomorrow.

My husband ignored these signs which started in his mid 30's. He was told he needed to quit drinking and while his labs were coming back slightly off it wasn't anything significant. So kept on, and on, and on. Till finally one day at work he started throwing up and couldn't stop. He ended up in ICU 31 days in a coma. Pancreatitis, organ failure, heart attack. He was 38. He stopped 60 days then picked up again. Another ICU episode 2 weeks later. He picked up again after this, just switched from vodka to beer. His pancreatitis became chronic and he also developed type 1 diabetes. He has had 2 major surgeries, and in the last 2 years hospitalized at least 10 times for a pancreatitis attack (not due to his current relapse) in other words even sober alcoholism still haunts him.

I hope your husband is supportive, I really, really do. But he may not be. I wish my husband could talk to you because even though he has relapsed I know he would beg you to quit drinking. As he says often - I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Come back often everyone here is wonderful, supportive and knowledgeable. Please let us know how it goes tomorrow.

It makes me wonder what my previous illnesses were really about. Last December I wound up in the hospital. I was severely dehydrated and stressed. I was vomiting uncontrollably. They hooked me to an IV giving me fluids and anti nausea meds. I was told to drink only water and very mild foods in small amounts. Eventually I got better. (and resumed lifestyle)

This September, we went on a trip. It was a canoe in trip in Canada and eventually drove out to Vermont. I know I drank quite a bit before the canoe in part in Toronto...by the time we were in the wilderness I was vomiting or out cold. I woke up shaking and feverish. It was a solid 48 hours of this. Of course no alcohol until we were in civilization again. Tender stomach, but feeling better until we got home. Celebrated 2 days off at home with a binge and I was vomiting again. Down for weeks, pain all through my abdomen and back. Eventually my Dr. put me on antibiotics and anti nausea thinking I probably caught a bug. (I lied to her about how much I drank)

I didn't drink at all yesterday. I'm going in for my tests in 1/2 hour. I'm really scared to do this alone. I hope my husband does this with me. For him too, but I can't help but feel like this is really really urgent for me.

How did you get on evilk?

Hi, Evilk. I hope all is going well and everything went ok at the doctor.
I wanted to tell you thank you. I was reading your post from July and noticed you mentioned a recipe club. I love to cook and had never heard of such a thing. I have googled it and will be reading about it after I type this reply. I'm praying its something that will keep me going as I have nothing but cooking and sewing left in my life to keep me busy. Cooking being my ultimate love.
I'm praying for you and your husband. Stay strong, friend.

Good luck!

Thanks. Just waiting it out.

The nurse said I should have some results tomorrow, but not all. She also said no news is good news, but I'd rather have any news than no new. Quite a mouthful, but fear of the unknown and all...I'd rather know.

Jen, I can relate. I made mulled cider, chili, and mushroom pesto pasta just to keep my hands busy last night. I have trick or treaters tonight so that'll help. :Pumpkinsmal:

BTW my husband is feeling pretty crappy from Monday. I tallied up about 16 shots he had across that day. He didn't have anything last night. I'm really hoping my tests come back before the weekend. We seem to slide into reality only for short periods, so I'm hoping this will shake up both of us.