Happier

So glad you got the tests. Please do not let the results be the only factor in your decision about drinking though. Health concerns were a motivating factor for me as well but there are also many other great and important reasons for sobriety!
A good and honest doctor visit is a great first step for anyone though. Good for you!

evilk

Didn't drink last night...that's 2 days.

Good thing I noticed~I slept through the night without a 2 a.m. wake up

Happier

Good for you. I hated the 2am wake up! Do not miss those.
Congrats on your progress.

evilk

Update/check in
3 days so far, my husband too. He has not "quit" but he's not drinking and I'm happy at least not to have it in the house. He's on a vacation day today and has a list of things he made to keep him busy. I'm hoping he doesn't justify getting just a little bottle or a couple beers at lunch.

It's Friday and payday. That's the top of the roller coaster. 3 months ago I was out here scared of what Friday would bring. I spent most of those 3 months over a toilet bowl or passed out. I know this sounds odd, but we have backstage/meet n greet passes for a concert Monday night and I'm more afraid of blowing it this weekend then at the concert.

I've been reading Rational Recovery and this all sounds like classic alcohol mind talking already setting me up for failure. I'm just going to keep saying, "I don't drink"

Still waiting for liver test results...

lilyrosemary

Hi! i read all your posts. they tell a story of pain and horror and sadness. i hear how desperately you want a new life. it is possible, it really is. i don't have any advice or words of wisdom, but i can tell you that i know exactly how you feel. i used to tell my husband that i could not stop. in order for me to stop i would have to "get a new brain" because the one i was using LOVED to get drunk. i listened to my heart and did something i thought i would never do. i checked into an inpatient treatment program and within those 28 days i was made new and came out with no desire whatsoever for booze or pills. its almost three years now and i thank God every day for this miracle in my life. i hope and pray that you can find what works for you. don't give up. it can happen in a way you weren't expecting. and as far as your husband goes, it may happen for him in an altogether different way. i believe there is a voice inside each one of us and i believe if we listen and do, great and seemingly impossible things can happen. i wish you well and i wish you a beautiful and sober life. God bless.

evilk

@Lilyrosemary~Thank you. I do, desperately. I cried when I read your post. That's me. Loved to drink, party, kick back, but it always always spirals into a depressing sick abyss of me curled up in a ball.

When my dog Kobe died last weekend, I was hit really hard. It also put a lot of things into perspective...just how much pain everyone felt with him gone. I picked a song that I dedicated to him. He was a rescue dog and had a 2nd chance at a new life. He experienced things I know he never got to experience in his first life. Here's the song:

Follow the Sun (Xavier Rudd)
Follow, follow the sun
And which way the wind blows
When this day is done
Breathe, breathe in the air
Set your intentions
Dream with care
Tomorrow's a new day for everyone
A brand new moon and brand new sun

So follow, follow the sun
The direction of the birds
The direction of love
Breathe, breathe in the air
Cherish this moment
Cherish this breath
Tomorrow's a new day day for everyone
A brand new moon, brand new sun

When you feel life coming down on you like a heavy weight
When you feel this crazy society adding to the strain
Take a stroll to the nearest water's edge, remember your place
Many moons have risen and fallen long, long before you came
So which way is the wind blowing
What does your heart say

So follow, follow the sun
And which way the wind blows
When this day is done

There's a youtube link if you want to listen. I saw that you liked music. I don't have enough posts to put in the link.


It's funny, I've actually been listening to it and feeling like it applies to me too. Maybe it's my 2nd chance. This is the concert we're going to see on Monday. I guess that's why I'm not scared of going.

evilk

Here's that link:

Follow The Sun - Xavier Rudd - YouTube