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So ... I failed ...

Old 07-20-2012, 03:11 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I am sorry you are experiencing pain right now. I would like to echo all of the great words that have come before this post. Just so glad you are still with us.

Yes, it is incredibly hard when there are not supports, but rather detriments in your home life. Rely on this "home" and the consultations with your doctor right along now.

We are all rooting for you, and want you to be sober and happy. Again, hang in there, and know that today is a new day. You deserve to be happy, and treated with respect. I am wishing you well. Hugs friend.
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Old 07-20-2012, 03:21 AM
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You and me both DS

I don't know one single person who doesn't drink!

I've just thrown stuff into my recycling bin... clink, clank, clink, clank... it's as if I was still drinking.

In an awful way, its easier for me because I don't have an option to drink as my liver is damaged. Doesn't make it nice though.

I was talking to my sister yesterday, she cheerfully said that she was drinking wine because its the school holidays, yay, celebration (?)... I gently reminded her that we were both from the same gene pool... she said, oh no no no, I'd never be like you etc etc, yes, ok, fine, but in the last year, there has not ben a single occasion that I have visited and the beer hasn't been flowing (so many sports matches to watch blah blah) I even noticed a new fridge that is 'just for alcohol'... This I have not questioned because the answer will be they have SO many friends and their house is SO busy with people.

What I'm kind of trying to say... just think of number one. Do what is best for you.

Actually, I'm just looking at my little dog she doesn't drink!
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Old 07-20-2012, 03:25 AM
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You are doing great despite your present situation. When I relasped I had to figure out why I did and you are doing the exact same thing and this is good..You dont deserve to be treated badly you deserve to be surrounded by people who support you. If you ever need to talk I am here. You are in my prayers.
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Old 07-20-2012, 05:24 AM
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DS you are on a tough gig. I admire what you achieved against the odds. Give it another go
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Old 07-20-2012, 05:50 AM
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Desertsong, I'm sorry that you are going through this. But, it's good that you've reached a point where you know you need to make changes.
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Old 07-20-2012, 06:59 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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DS,

You are still an inspiration to me.

I do think removing yourself from your husband for awhile may help you regain some emotional strength and sobriety. I know I could never stop drinking if I was around someone who was not sober. That, combined with the cheating and lying, would make me take a real long break away to see what the best path would be for ME.


I hope you do what will make YOU happy, sober and healthy.

You have done great and can do it again
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Old 07-20-2012, 07:10 AM
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desertsong,

I don't know how you did it for four months being around someone who drinks. You are amazing! It sounds like you have reached another plateau in your recovery, and another important realization, and are going about the steps to make the changes you need to make to start really living. Good for you You are impressive indeed. Please keep us updated.
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Old 07-20-2012, 07:52 AM
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ds, when I am very upset I tend to make decisions based on fear and revenge... many of which I regret soon down the line.

Talk to your sober friends and take advice from them. My sponsor saved my bacon more times than I can count.
Things are seldom as bad as I see them on a bad day... nor as good as I see them on a good day.

Prayers for truth, sanity and acceptance to you.

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 07-20-2012, 08:08 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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(((hugs)))
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Old 07-20-2012, 08:45 AM
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Desertsong,

You've got 4 months of sobriety under your belt and that is worth "more" than it's weight in gold...tap into that DS...I think you know what you need to do

Big hugs to you
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Old 07-20-2012, 09:32 AM
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((((desertsong))))

You did NOT Fail. You got 4 months under your belt. You sound like you know what you need to do. Do what is best for YOU.!
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Old 07-20-2012, 11:45 AM
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Hey DS, I hope you are ok today! I couldn't quit while living with another active alcoholic... I tried and tried but it was just no way to live. I finally got clean while living alone. Take care and let us know how you're doing!
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Old 07-20-2012, 12:13 PM
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So sorry to hear about that DS. But I'm glad you are back posting, and glad you are picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and starting again. Wishing you the best.
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Old 07-20-2012, 01:50 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles DS x *Hugs* x
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Old 07-20-2012, 02:16 PM
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Four months of sobriety is not a failure, it's a major accomplishment!

I am definitely influenced by what other people are doing, if there is alcohol in the house I will be tempted to drink it. Luckily I live alone right now. Booze was a major source of strife in my last relationship, I hope you can work things out but it sounds like the two of you are moving in separate directions and might need to end things. I wish you luck in dealing with all of this.
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Old 07-20-2012, 03:56 PM
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Thank you all so much. I saw a WONDERFUL nurse practitioner (not doctor) today but she was recommended to my by an AA friend and I was astounded by her knowledge and compassion. I am going to start my detox tomorrow with the aid of the meds she prescribed, and I see her again on Tuesday when the worst of the detox should be over. I am really, really excited and looking forward to getting back on the path.

But I am still probably going to have to leave my husband. Don't feel sorry for me .... actually, I think it is going to be a huge relief. He's not here anyway. When he's home, he's sullen and ugly and drunk, and when he's at the bar, well, he's just at the bar. It's actually a relief when he's not home anymore. So I called a lawyer today ... wasn't clear-headed enough to talk with him today but will speak with him on Monday. I can't be sober living with an active alcoholic who doesn't want to change (and keeps cheating on me). Lots of changes coming. I appreciate your loving support and prayers. It means lot.
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Old 07-20-2012, 04:29 PM
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You've learned so much, Desert. No one can ever take those 4 months away from you - they are going to be so valuable on your journey. You're going to make this, I know it. Proud of you for coming clean and talking about it with us. Better days are coming, and we're happy to be on this trip with you.
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Old 07-20-2012, 05:35 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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My 1st husband left me after 5 years of (awful) marriage. I was a wreck until I moved into my own place and suddenly realized how free I was. What a relief, it was the best thing that ever happened to me!

You might find that leaving your husband is a tough decision to make but an easy one to live with. And your sobriety depends on it. Good luck, I'll be thinking about you.
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Old 07-20-2012, 05:37 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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Thank you. I love you. Really. Lots of tough stuff coming up, but I'm ready. Relieved you are all here for support. Thank you,
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Old 07-20-2012, 06:25 PM
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Desertsong... Hang in there please!! We started together and I learned so much from you!! You have been an inspiration to me and to so many here!! I will be praying for you and for ll your going through!! Lind
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