jstar

I am at home w/my husband + 4 kids. Just got home from the racetrack for hubby work event. Although I was f'd up b4 I got there @ 3pm ...7 hrs later, im still a mess

DisplacedGRITS

jstar, you've fought the good fight. rehab is a safe place where you learn a lot about yourself and alcoholism and how it effects you in ways you can't even imagine. how about you accept all the help you can. what you've been doing isn't working. it's your life and you're decision. your life and health is worth a month.

jstar

You know what the kicker is...it' s $25,000 for 14 days of rehab & that is after my insurance pays 2/3 of the cost. Welcome to California....if you aren't f'n rich you get to just stay drunk. That is sooooooo much money!

jstar

I'm thinking I probably shouldn't take my xanax while i'm this messed up....ugh! Nothing can help me

DisplacedGRITS

yeah, taking the xanax is a bad idea. look, you're probably just going to have to be uncomfortable. we all have to be uncomfortable at times. it sucks but it's a fact of life. sorry if i'm being harsh but i hate to see you spiral downwards. take some deep breaths and try to understand that all is not lost. you're still here. you've got the will, you're just looking for the way. the fact is, you're still looking. you haven't given up. that's important. hold on to that.

DisplacedGRITS

if you care to chat, i'll be active in the chat room in about 5 minutes (gotta go do that bad ole smoking thing). just took my sleep meds so i'm good for about 30 minutes of chat.

jstar

Haven't fig out how to chat from phone. Prob not best time to learn. Im just gonna go to sleep I think before I make anything worse

DisplacedGRITS

sounds like a great plan, jstar. get some good rest and remember to be gentle with yourself in the morning, ok?

NoelleR

"...You know what the kicker is...it' s $25,000 for 14 days of rehab & that is after my insurance pays 2/3 of the cost. Welcome to California..."

Yes, treatment can be very expensive, BUT I don't know where you, and your insurance, are looking, given the $$ you're showing [$75,000 (total) for 14 days.....?]. You could go to Betty Ford for 30 days inpatient for less than that ($32,000). .....and you're down there relatively close to them.

It's a good place; a friend of mine went there (staggering up to the door with the dregs of her half-pint in her hand), and she's sober since 1983. Of course, there's no guarantees, and I've been sober since 1986 (no Betty Ford, or any treatment center).....

Anyway, back to the numbers you're showing; mebbe go back and recheck.....? ....................... 'n good luck...................


(o:
NoelleR

SSIL75

Jstar where is your husband in all of this?

Is a $25k rehab your only option? If so, you might want to weigh the cost against that of a divorce attorney and the legal battle that might ensue to get you access to your children.

It's heartbreaking stuff.
FTR I got sober with Rational Recovery. Free. So you have options but you have to want to never, ever drink again.

jstar

Thank you

jstar

Husband is very upset with me. He said i embarassed him in front of his co-workers by showing up seeminly drunk to his event yesterday. . I didn't think it was that obvious, I was in a good mood & all happy and hadn't really drank that much before I got there (I didn't drive, I took the train there). He said people were making comments to him about how I seems like I'd "had a few". I feel awful. I love my husband & he just puts up with my BS.

I'm about to go to an AA meeting to see my aunt take her 2 yr token. So happy for her. I feel like such a huge failure.

aasharon90

Grab a hold of your Aunts coattails and allow
her to guide you along to not drink. Stick with
her and watch and listen to how she is staying
sober herself. You and her can be a great example
to other members in your family in how to stay
sober a day at a time. But most of all and most
important, stay sober for you because this is a
personal recovery journey for you to accomplish
for you. Then you will eventually begin to enjoy
the promises and rewards granted to each of us
each day we stay sober. Also, pass on your own
experiences, strengths and hopes with others
because it will also help you stay sober.

Ozgirl

Hi jstar.

I went to a 21 day rehab myself last April and it was the best thing I ever did. Going signified surrender to me I guess, it was expensive but the best investment I ever made. It has paid itself back 10 fold in so many ways. Least of all money.

In my case going to rehab involved coming out to a lot of people about my alcoholism. My work had no idea nor a lot of extended family. It really signified a time of change for me. Can you consider going to a 28 day program at another location, are there cheaper options in other states? It could be a wonderful gift to yourself. Time to just concentrate on you and getting better. In rehab there is no point in worrying about other things like work, children etc as it is completely out of your control, you are in a bubble.

artsoul

I don't know if any of these will work for you, but there are some low-cost treatment centers in CA:
California Drug & Alcohol Rehabs (Low Cost)
Also, when I went to treatment, they were very good about working out a payment plan for me, so that's always another possibility. I ended up paying less per month than I would have spent drinking.

But yeah, it was scary at first because it was a big sacrifice, even though I wouldn't have thought twice if I needed surgery or some other major medical care.

Not saying rehab is a magic bullet, but I'm glad I went. I just feel for you and hope you can find what you need - you don't want to wait for things to get worse.

SSIL75

I'm glad you're going to a meeting. It's terrible to know people are talking about you. But if you surrender to the recovery process I can almost guarantee that the worst is behind you.

Nothing can compare, IME to living a life with pride.