new at this, but ready to quit?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1
new at this, but ready to quit?
hi all,
thanks for reading my post! i didn't mean for it to be so long–i got a little carried away...
a bit of background: university student. i've been drinking heavily for quite a few years, but this past year has especially been a drunken stupor. a typical day started with a drink, because that was the only way to start in the morning, and ended with enough liquor to knock me out. in between, of course, i was suitably tipsy. i went to class in a fog. and don't get me started on the weekends...my school is a well-known "party school," so i never lacked options. it got to the point where i would finish a fifth of liquor in a night. (and i'm of very small stature...) for months, i would blackout thursday, friday, and saturday nights. and my blackouts weren't like other people's–i would be taking a shot one minute and wake up on a couch the next, with absolutely no recollection whatsoever. and instead of worrying about it, i just kept drinking.
i used to think this wasn't too abnormal. then friends started becoming "concerned," then i started wasting all (and i do mean all) of my money, then my grades dropped significantly and i almost lost my scholarships, then i started losing friends, and then–THEN–i took my idiocy up another level. one day i drove up to visit my friend's town about an hour and a half away. i got ********* that night at my friend's house. and then, for some reason unbeknownst to anyone, i decided to drive home. my friend said i tricked the whole house and told them i was just going outside for some air, and then i left. i drove plastered for an hour and a half on a major interstate. at four in the morning. i'm so, so grateful i didn't hurt anyone.
that was about two months ago. but even that wasn't enough of a wakeup call. i kept thinking that i hadn't found rock-bottom yet, but when i did, i would make the change. you know, i thought i had to hit the bottom to climb up. but i never thought about how hard i would hit the bottom, or if i would even be able to climb after such a fall. i kept drinking, and i even dabbled in some other drugs, which i'm not especially proud of. it's just been a rough couple of months. rough rough rough.
i don't know what prompted it, but a week ago i was drinking alone in my apartment and feeling truly pathetic. and after a while, something hit me and i realized i could do so much better. i was wasting my life, and i needed to stop. that was basically it. nothing rock-bottom about it, but it worked, i guess.
i've been sober for a week now. not too many physical symptoms. my hands started really shaky, but they've improved. i was also really anxious and edgy at the beginning, but i guess that's improved too. i don't understand it myself, but i feel incredibly hopeful. the future just feels so full of hope. i feel more reflective. happier, even. unfogging the fog in my eyes.
so. SO. this is where i ask for the advice. i haven't told many people about my newfound sobriety. the few i have told have been supportive. i think my problem is that ninety-nine percent of my friends are drinkers. when school starts again in august–when the parties and the tailgating and everything starts again–what should i do? i'm not sure i can be sober at a house party. i'm not sure i'd want to be. but if i don't go to these things, i lose a lot of friends and spend a lot of time on my lonesome–feel me?
also, i'm going to a big music festival in a few weeks and usually i get as drunk as i can at these type of events. my friends attending with me will be very drunk. i have lingering thoughts that it won't be as fun if i'm sober.
both of these concerns seem to center around one question: can i have a single drink and stop there? can i drink until i get a buzz and then call it quits? can i drink like a normal person?
past experience would say no, but i feel so goddamned hopeful lately and i keep thinking i can give it a shot. but i don't want to ruin the sobriety. i feel like if i have a drink here and there, it's not truly "sobriety," it's not truly recovery. and i don't want to go on another month-long bender, either.
if you're still with me, thank you for reading this novel-length post! haha. i'm welcome to any advice you wise people may have.
thanks,
h
thanks for reading my post! i didn't mean for it to be so long–i got a little carried away...
a bit of background: university student. i've been drinking heavily for quite a few years, but this past year has especially been a drunken stupor. a typical day started with a drink, because that was the only way to start in the morning, and ended with enough liquor to knock me out. in between, of course, i was suitably tipsy. i went to class in a fog. and don't get me started on the weekends...my school is a well-known "party school," so i never lacked options. it got to the point where i would finish a fifth of liquor in a night. (and i'm of very small stature...) for months, i would blackout thursday, friday, and saturday nights. and my blackouts weren't like other people's–i would be taking a shot one minute and wake up on a couch the next, with absolutely no recollection whatsoever. and instead of worrying about it, i just kept drinking.
i used to think this wasn't too abnormal. then friends started becoming "concerned," then i started wasting all (and i do mean all) of my money, then my grades dropped significantly and i almost lost my scholarships, then i started losing friends, and then–THEN–i took my idiocy up another level. one day i drove up to visit my friend's town about an hour and a half away. i got ********* that night at my friend's house. and then, for some reason unbeknownst to anyone, i decided to drive home. my friend said i tricked the whole house and told them i was just going outside for some air, and then i left. i drove plastered for an hour and a half on a major interstate. at four in the morning. i'm so, so grateful i didn't hurt anyone.
that was about two months ago. but even that wasn't enough of a wakeup call. i kept thinking that i hadn't found rock-bottom yet, but when i did, i would make the change. you know, i thought i had to hit the bottom to climb up. but i never thought about how hard i would hit the bottom, or if i would even be able to climb after such a fall. i kept drinking, and i even dabbled in some other drugs, which i'm not especially proud of. it's just been a rough couple of months. rough rough rough.
i don't know what prompted it, but a week ago i was drinking alone in my apartment and feeling truly pathetic. and after a while, something hit me and i realized i could do so much better. i was wasting my life, and i needed to stop. that was basically it. nothing rock-bottom about it, but it worked, i guess.
i've been sober for a week now. not too many physical symptoms. my hands started really shaky, but they've improved. i was also really anxious and edgy at the beginning, but i guess that's improved too. i don't understand it myself, but i feel incredibly hopeful. the future just feels so full of hope. i feel more reflective. happier, even. unfogging the fog in my eyes.
so. SO. this is where i ask for the advice. i haven't told many people about my newfound sobriety. the few i have told have been supportive. i think my problem is that ninety-nine percent of my friends are drinkers. when school starts again in august–when the parties and the tailgating and everything starts again–what should i do? i'm not sure i can be sober at a house party. i'm not sure i'd want to be. but if i don't go to these things, i lose a lot of friends and spend a lot of time on my lonesome–feel me?
also, i'm going to a big music festival in a few weeks and usually i get as drunk as i can at these type of events. my friends attending with me will be very drunk. i have lingering thoughts that it won't be as fun if i'm sober.
both of these concerns seem to center around one question: can i have a single drink and stop there? can i drink until i get a buzz and then call it quits? can i drink like a normal person?
past experience would say no, but i feel so goddamned hopeful lately and i keep thinking i can give it a shot. but i don't want to ruin the sobriety. i feel like if i have a drink here and there, it's not truly "sobriety," it's not truly recovery. and i don't want to go on another month-long bender, either.
if you're still with me, thank you for reading this novel-length post! haha. i'm welcome to any advice you wise people may have.
thanks,
h
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Please don't do it, don't drink again. Even one. For any reason.
We see so many posts that go like this: 'I was doing so well, no problems staying sober, until one day I decided I could have a beer...' They never go well.
Your addiction has a voice, and it will try every trick it can imagine ( and every trick you can imagine too!) to convince you of anything that will lead to you taking a drink again now, soon, later or someday. Recognize this voice for what it is - the animal desire to get plastered again, and we know how that turns out for you.
This voice will also tell you things to make you doubt that you can do this. That voice will say that you can't stay sober for good. Another lie, because you can, you really can. You can chose to get sober, and stay sober that way. It really is a relief to know that you will never drink again, never drive drunk again, never do any of those horrible things that we have all done in the past.
I hope that you can see the wisdom and support here at SR. Welcome.
We see so many posts that go like this: 'I was doing so well, no problems staying sober, until one day I decided I could have a beer...' They never go well.
Your addiction has a voice, and it will try every trick it can imagine ( and every trick you can imagine too!) to convince you of anything that will lead to you taking a drink again now, soon, later or someday. Recognize this voice for what it is - the animal desire to get plastered again, and we know how that turns out for you.
This voice will also tell you things to make you doubt that you can do this. That voice will say that you can't stay sober for good. Another lie, because you can, you really can. You can chose to get sober, and stay sober that way. It really is a relief to know that you will never drink again, never drive drunk again, never do any of those horrible things that we have all done in the past.
I hope that you can see the wisdom and support here at SR. Welcome.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: California
Posts: 9
I've often wondered the same thing, can I just cut back? Can I just have one and be done? Can I just drink like a 'normal' person? And believe me, I've tried to make it work, but experience has shown me that even if I can get away with just having one or two today, tomorrow I will invariably pick up where I left off and 'keep the party going'. Then 3 days later the process starts all over again.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Hemingway 
Well done on your week of sobriety, that's ace. Personally, I wouldn't jeopardise that for the sake of a few drinks...what would be the point? Have you thought about getting some face to face support. It sucks when you think you're the only sober one. But chances are you aren't. Maybe the university you're at has some AA or SMART meetings. Personally I would try and find a few sober friends, just for a bit of extra support.
Glad you're posting here x
Well done on your week of sobriety, that's ace. Personally, I wouldn't jeopardise that for the sake of a few drinks...what would be the point? Have you thought about getting some face to face support. It sucks when you think you're the only sober one. But chances are you aren't. Maybe the university you're at has some AA or SMART meetings. Personally I would try and find a few sober friends, just for a bit of extra support.
Glad you're posting here x
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
Don't do it. Everyone else that has posted that said we see these posts all the time, are right. Everyone here at one point or another has thought we could drink like a normal person, but we can't. So...you can continue your living your life now and getting plastered with your "friends" or you can make a choice that is going to change your life and make you a better person. No one said that this is easy. Your whole life will change. You just decide what you want more. Drunken friends and a brain empty of sober memories, or an actual life made of positivity. We only live ONE time. It's up to you to decide what you do with it. Best of luck to you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome Hemingway! Glad you joined the family.
Most of us have found - through much trial and error - that 'just one' is not possible. For me it never happened. One drink and all bets were off. Dangerous things happened, even when I was determined to use all my willpower to control what I drank.
I hope you'll find it helpful to be able to share your thoughts and feelings here. You're never alone.
Most of us have found - through much trial and error - that 'just one' is not possible. For me it never happened. One drink and all bets were off. Dangerous things happened, even when I was determined to use all my willpower to control what I drank.
I hope you'll find it helpful to be able to share your thoughts and feelings here. You're never alone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome to SR - you've found a great place here
You know yourself that in the past you've not been able to have only one drink, so why would now be any different? It's not the 10th drink that harms the alcoholic but the first - the one that sets off the reaction and causes us to have no control over our alcohol consumption thereafter.
Retraining you brain to believe social situations and other events do not involve alcohol is a long process and at times can be rather difficult, but eventually you come to find that being sober is the norm... and is actually FAR more fun than being drunk. You get to remember everything, not do silly things due to alcohol, not black out, be the real you rather than the drunk, and wake up feeling fresh and happy, free of guilt and embarrassment in the morning! It may not be the norm now, but it will come to be the norm and you will come to realise that you only THOUGHT that alcohol was adding to these social experiences.
Stay strong and good luck.
You know yourself that in the past you've not been able to have only one drink, so why would now be any different? It's not the 10th drink that harms the alcoholic but the first - the one that sets off the reaction and causes us to have no control over our alcohol consumption thereafter.
Retraining you brain to believe social situations and other events do not involve alcohol is a long process and at times can be rather difficult, but eventually you come to find that being sober is the norm... and is actually FAR more fun than being drunk. You get to remember everything, not do silly things due to alcohol, not black out, be the real you rather than the drunk, and wake up feeling fresh and happy, free of guilt and embarrassment in the morning! It may not be the norm now, but it will come to be the norm and you will come to realise that you only THOUGHT that alcohol was adding to these social experiences.
Stay strong and good luck.
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