Twelvecans

Hi everybody.

33 year old alcoholic here. I've been pretty private about my addiction apart from talking about it with my therapist. Been drinking the unhealthy way (alone and too much) for 11 years now, and I started antabus on Sunday. Went on a date yesterday so I forgot to take it, and today two days after taking it I've had a couple of cans of beer. My face is blushing and that's about it. Kinda feel my pulse throbbing in my temple as well. Anyone knows how long the red face side effects last? I still got one more walk to do with my dog.

So since I'm a lousy drunk I will not take antabus untill next Sunday so I hopefully can go on a nice bender when the weekend comes.

So hello everyone!

FredG

If you don't want to drink -STOP.

If you haven't decided to quit then antibuse won't help. Never tried that myself, but my Dad took it for years. Didn't even slow his drinking down. I know of others that took it and quit. The difference was that Dad didn't really want to quit, the others did.

I had to use a 12 step program and now have 34 years clean and sober, but again, I really needed and wanted to quit.

Your choice, if you want to quit you will do whatever it takes to get sober.

Twelvecans

34 years? Congrats and well done. I hope I can say the same one day.

MyTimeNow

Well I admire your honesty!

Welcome Twelvecans... Erm... so you're not ready to quit drinking I take it. I haven't used antabuse but sounds to me like you are playing with fire, you could make yourself really really sick. I assume you know this already. No advice I'm afraid other than you don't want to be dating and puking

Twelvecans

I don't seem to be ready. But I sure hope I could/would want to stop :/

MyTimeNow

I would think you want to stop on some level otherwise you wouldn't be taking antabuse and posting here What lead you to get antabuse, is it on prescription? Therapy sounds like a good start. I'm new to all of this too, but there is so much information, support and motivation here. I think sometimes we just *know* when we are ready, hopefully that will be soon for you.

Twelvecans

What lead me to Antabuse (is on prescription) was my self destructive lifestyle. I guess you could say I thought it was a magic pill.

mrsbrownie

hello! welcome to the community.

i have learned so much here, everyone's experience and them sharing it help me cope with my recent brush with addiction (myxabf).

peace to you.

MrsKing

Twelvecans, there is NO magic cure for alcohol abuse. Nothing can make someone stop if they are not 100% willing and ready to make that change. Certain things can happen that cause us to 'wake up', but really, the only cure for alcoholism is to stop putting alcohol into your body. And even that doesn't CURE us, it just means we're no longer actively drinking. You CAN stop drinking if you believe you can and you want to stop. It's not easy, but it's a much smoother process if you desire to be sober more than you desire to be drunk. I wish you all the best... stick around, there is so much support and experience here.

Dee74

Hi twelvecans

We're a recovery community so I'll tell you right off the bat we're geared to abstinence here.

I've tried drinking, and I've tried recovery, and for me there's no contest - I don't miss starting to think about my next weekend bender from the previous Tuesday....

Recovery wins every time

Whether you want to stop or not is your decision of course - I hope you will, and I hope you will sooner rather than later - there's a ton of support here if you want it

Whatever you do tho? don't mix antabuse and alcohol, TC.

It's a pretty foolhardy, even dangerous, thing to do - take care of yourself, ok?

D

Twelvecans

Thanks for all the replies people, and thank you for the advice. Whenever I drink I always become depressed the days after, and it really hurts. But for some reason I keep drinking, I guess you could say alcohol is like a hug or an arm around the shoulder.

I've been trying to put some more stuff into my life, I've started dating again after 7 years of loneliness and I've become a union representative. So I try to change my habits and routines but *sigh* its hard.

freshstart57

TwelveCans, this is only as hard as you want it to be. You can torture yourself to death if you want to. Folks do that, I know, but I don't recommend it.

If you want to stop drinking, stop already. There is no magic here. Not making a plan is a choice to accept the status quo. How do you see this working out for you? What is going to happen next? What is your plan?

MrsKing

Look at what you just said - it makes you depressed for days and really hurts, yet you drink again and feel like it's a hug or arm around the shoulder.

How does that make ANY sense?

I'm not trying to be mean, because I was exactly the same. I used to be so depressed after drinking that I wouldn't want to leave my bed for days, yet as soon as the opportunity came about for me to drink again, I'd be straight back on it, feeling instant relief and happiness... until I woke up the next day.

This is an addiction... we forget the bad things alcohol does to us despite it doing it to us every single time, and we keep going round and round in a circle of drunk and despair. The only reason why it feels like a hug or an arm around the shoulder is because your addiction is being satisfied. Don't let that fool you - because you know rationally that actually, alcohol makes you depressed for days.

Learning to understand that those 'positives' that alcohol brings momentarily are actually just a response to fulfilling the desires of your addiction is so important in quitting.

You CAN do this!

FredG

If you haven't lost absolutely everything you value in life ... keep drinking ... you will.

This is a guaruntee that applied to me when I was drinking. It's my opinion, that it applies to all of us with the disease of alcoholism. Putting stuff into your life won't do you any good if you don't put some sobriety into it first. Because without it you will lose everything you just put in.