mds1212

I am pretty new, less than 30 days sober and I need some help explaining to folks why I am not drinking or using. Protecting my anninimity is very important to me. I have been in several situations when I am asked why I am not drinking since I was the "life of the party- not! I have been telling people I am on medication but I am surrounded by tons of medical people who ask what medication, what's the condition. They have genuine concern but I feel like I need a better cover

I realize eventually I will be honest but at these early stages i just need a better cover.

Any ideas?

MrsKing

When people ask me why I'm not drinking, I just say something like: "Oh, I've just had enough of it."

That is usually enough for most people. In over three months of sobriety I've not once had someone really put pressure on me to drink.

FredG

Who says you have to justify the fact that you're not drinking??

None of their business, in my opinion. But if you really want to tell them something, just say that you developed a severe allergy. Which is being honest, too. If I drink even one drink, I believe I will die a horrible death.

justhadenough

say you are trying to be healthy or lose weight. If people persist and apply pressure then they have a problem and I'd change friends

reggiewayne

Ulcer. Go with Ulcer. It's un - arguable.

You're welcome lol... I took me 4 years to come up with that one but I used it and it worked. Didn't keep me sober, but it did what I wanted it to do.

Now, everyone I know is aware I don't drink. But as they say, baby steps. I totally can relate to not wanted to "out" yourself. If you go with ulcer, you're golden...

Best of luck!

TorontoGuy28

True friends do not ask me why I do not drink anymore, they've seen me hammered and have placed me into taxis waaaaaaaay too many times.

Only people that ask me, is drinking buddies. Many of them should be on here as well and/or in AA, but to each is own.

"health kick" ; "clean-up/body detox" ; "new diet"

Mel12

Dear Mds,

You ask a very good question! When drinking scenarios are not with friends but politicized and work-related, it is especially awkward. Sadly, there are too many folks out there who follow the adage "never trust someone who doesn't drink."

Mel

Mel12

Hi Reg,

When you wrote "Go with Ulcer," like a Bozo I searched the forum for the screen name Ulcer to see what s/he said. Then I realized you meant stomach ulcer! :rotfxko

Ulcer is awesome, total, final, cleancut. Thanks for the great idea.

Mel

FredG

Generally, I've found that the folks out there that say "never trust someone who doesn't drink.", have a drinking problem themselves. To associate with someone who doesn't drink would cause them to stick out.

Personally I have a medical condition, related to my allergy to any internally consumed type of alcohol. I know that there are going to be some that will have a problem with this, but my sobriety is far more important to me than my reputation, or my perceived reputation, because basically ... if I don't have my sobriety, I won't have ANYTHING else.

Zee

Its a shame that people would ask isn't it?
Is it that important? Would they think we would be that boring without alcohol?
If it was me, I'd tell the truth (which I do) shuts people up every time.
If you'd rather not explain, go with ulcer. You could also point out that they could be next!

Jester1025

How about saying something simple like: "I just don't feel like drinking tonight."

No need to go into detail or feel like you have to explain why. If people persist and want to know why you don't feel like drinking, just shrug your shoulders and say... "no reason... i just don't feel like it tonight..."

Enough said.

HarleyDaddy

Years ago I quit (which pisses me off that I fell back into it) and I just told people I don't drink. If they asked why, I asked them why they cared. A little stand-offish I know. But it ended the conversation.

Of course back then I didn't quit because I had a problem, I just quit and didn't partake. If I only knew back then when I started again for "social reasons" it would have led me down this path...ugh. LOL

lifewithoutbooz

It's sad we have to lie sometimes but some people can be ruthless when they want/need to know why a person chooses not to drink especially when it's none of their business. If I tell my family I'm not drinking most of them are pretty good but my jerk of a brother-in-law will nag nag nag me wanting to know why. 'None of your freakin' business buddy now back off'.

On that note I go with ReggieWayne - ulcer or acid reflux. When my friend says 'I have acid reflux and the doc gave me meds so I can still drink' - I'm like 'I'd rather quit drinking and feel better without a prescription' - then I question what kind of doctor she has and she shuts up.

Say what you have to say to keep going - especially in the early days.

Live2Run25

Why not just tell the truth? When I first became sober, I thought about the same thing.. what excuse can I tell everyone, and then I realized all I was doing was setting myself up to drink again. It wasn't final. Ya know? So I just tell people that I don't drink and it's a personal decision that's best for my life. No one has ever pressured beyond that. Best of luck to you!

Cinderblock18

I am struggling with the same thing....what do I tell these people? I was the life of the party, the really funny one, people would expect me to make them laugh, always had a drink in my hand.

I'm teetering between two things:
1. "My friend and I made a bet that we weren't going to drink until August, to lose weight, and keep on our healthy kick"

2. "Honestly, it started to become a real problem for me"
(I think that if I share my honest reason, who knows, someone else that is struggling may hear me)

To the references on the quote "Never trust someone who doesn't drink" I used to be one of those people who thought that (never said it aloud) and looked down at the sober non-drinkers. Oh, the irony!

duane1

Been sober 1.5 months. My neighbor, I just said I was trying to lose weight. This is a guy I used to drink a few beers with every few days. You know what happened? He has cut down on his drinking also and has also lost some weight. My drinking friend I told I quit. Anyone else I just said I was drinking water.
It isn't as hard as it seems. I played it out in my head a million times before I quit and I couldn't imagine how I could stop the occasional beers at my neighbors. It took one sentence.

If none of that seems to be an easy solution, tell them you get a bad reaction to alcohol (rash). That was actually happening to me, but was due to many years of abuse.

Threshold

"I've decided to quit"

"I've lost my taste for it."

good and honest answers.

If someone pushes a worthwhile question to ask THEM is "why does it matter to you if I drink?"
Then they either have to have a reasonable answer or say "it doesn't"

lacking any rational answer, most people say "it doesn't" and then there really is no point in talking about it anymore.

A few other honest answers

"losing weight."
"I feel better when I don't drink"
"saves me money"
"I've seen how it messed up some people in my family"
"Documentary/book scared the crap out of me"
"My family/spouse/SO likes me better this way."

but truly, one of the quickest way to shut 95% of them up is to say "I'm an alcoholic, I'm in recovery. I don't drink anymore"

jobei

I simply tell people that I get really sick when I drink. Works everytime.

aeo1313

I just say I don't drink anymore- it was getting to be too much. I am an open book though and don't care what others think and my job/social life is not based in participating in drinking.

If I did care- I would say a weight loss/health kick. Training for 5k etc.

wow04

At first I just said Oh I am not drinking today.

Now everyone knows I am in recovery. If we are somewhere new and I get asked I usually don't have to say anything, because someone will say along the lines of She doesn't drink. What I say is I am an alcoholic that is in recovery and I am not drinking today. This has actually opened the door for me to help people.

As I grew in recovery, I didn't care who knew I was an alcoholic.