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Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome to SR. Sorry to hear that you hurt yourself (I've been there - it's not nice) but I am glad you are OK and on the road to recovery. I've not been at SR long but I love it here - it has helped me so much. I really wish I found it early on so I had more support in the early days, which I'm sure you'll get here in abundance.
I have that 'black and white' personality, too. I'm all or nothing in EVERYTHING I do. It's rather obsessive, but I'm trying to work on that. At least now I'm all or nothing about things that are healthy, rather than alcohol. You can do this, Snapper. Everyone here is behind you and you can definitely beat this if you want to.
I have that 'black and white' personality, too. I'm all or nothing in EVERYTHING I do. It's rather obsessive, but I'm trying to work on that. At least now I'm all or nothing about things that are healthy, rather than alcohol. You can do this, Snapper. Everyone here is behind you and you can definitely beat this if you want to.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Hang in there. I relate to you all of your post.
I just thought I'd respond to a couple of things than jumped out. First, "slowing down". For me, and all the other alcoholics I know this is impossible long term. My history shows that there is nothing I can do that is bad enough, that makes me remorseful enough, that teaches me enough, that can make me control my drinking once I start. I drink for the "fireworks". For me, drinking a few "socially" isn't an option.
I had to find a way to live that did not include drinking. It's much easier for me to drink zero drinks than it is drinking five drinks.
Second, the "all or nothing" mentality or as you put it "black and white" is a trait that most alcoholics I have met share. Not sure why, but it just is what it is.
The goal is to focus that behavior trait on something more positive.
I wish you the best.
I just thought I'd respond to a couple of things than jumped out. First, "slowing down". For me, and all the other alcoholics I know this is impossible long term. My history shows that there is nothing I can do that is bad enough, that makes me remorseful enough, that teaches me enough, that can make me control my drinking once I start. I drink for the "fireworks". For me, drinking a few "socially" isn't an option.
I had to find a way to live that did not include drinking. It's much easier for me to drink zero drinks than it is drinking five drinks.
Second, the "all or nothing" mentality or as you put it "black and white" is a trait that most alcoholics I have met share. Not sure why, but it just is what it is.
The goal is to focus that behavior trait on something more positive.
I wish you the best.
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