Sober Wedding = So Boring
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Posts: 15
Sober Wedding = So Boring
So last night, I went to a wedding with an open bar. Under the usual circumstances, I would have been drinking the entire time. Instead, I made it through Day Nine alcohol free. It felt good to get home sober, and wake up with some spring in my step.
But dear God, was a I bored. Bored making banal small talk, bored with myself, bored with the whole thing.
But dear God, was a I bored. Bored making banal small talk, bored with myself, bored with the whole thing.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
I found that by getting sober in AA, I forgot what boredom is like. AA offers a program of action and a million different ways to get active both in and out of the rooms. But the rewards go further than that. I have a sense of peace when I am in social situations that I never had in the past. I am quite content when by myself with nothing to do. And the best part is that I dont have to just not drink one loooonnnnggg daaaayyyy at a time. I get to do all sorts of fun stuff. Ball games, concerts, weddings etc. There is no white knuckling any more. Im free provided I continue to work the program of AA and help others along the way.
Good stuff!
Good stuff!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Tuscaloosa, AL
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by ExLionTamer 
So last night, I went to a wedding with an open bar. Under the usual circumstances, I would have been drinking the entire time. Instead, I made it through Day Nine alcohol free. It felt good to get home sober, and wake up with some spring in my step.
But dear God, was a I bored. Bored making banal small talk, bored with myself, bored with the whole thing.
But dear God, was a I bored. Bored making banal small talk, bored with myself, bored with the whole thing.
My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 338
It gets better. It gets easier. I found that at wedding dances, social gatherings, parties etc, I didn't have to have a couple of drinks and get warmed up before I could start having fun. When I arrive I'm as wasted as I'm going to get, so I can start having fun immediately. Heck, now I can have fun at church, at afternoon gatherings, at coffee shops, at friends' homes where there's no drinking going on - anywhere I am, any time of day.
But it took practice.
But it took practice.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Maybe it's not you at all; maybe it was just a boring wedding! 
Seriously, congrats on doing that. Great milestone. I went through the same sort of thing. I found that pretty quickly, as sober became the new normal, I was able to relax and enjoy things more than I ever did drinking. No more having to obsess over getting a drink, or counting how many I've had, or waking up to waves of regret... Hmmm—now that I think of it, that makes boring sound pretty darn good, lol...
Seriously, congrats on doing that. Great milestone. I went through the same sort of thing. I found that pretty quickly, as sober became the new normal, I was able to relax and enjoy things more than I ever did drinking. No more having to obsess over getting a drink, or counting how many I've had, or waking up to waves of regret... Hmmm—now that I think of it, that makes boring sound pretty darn good, lol...
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
To be honest, i haven't been to a wedding that was terribly fun or exciting besides a very very close friends and i was in the bridal party. (I was a courthouse wedding. No frills here.) I don't think weddings really ever are all that much fun for people who aren't directly involved.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 138
My whole social life revolved around drinking. When I decided to get sober I found I didn't know how to have fun without alcohol because alcohol allowed me to relax, loosen up, be the party girl. I was bored quite often in early sobriety and sometime I am still bored in social situations. As I have gotten more comfortable in my sobriety I have forced myself to have fun, laugh, and be silly. I try to go ahead and enjoy myself without the alcohol. I sing and dance in public, etc. Things are getting easier and I am so thankful to wake up after a night out and not be hungover, remember the whole night, and not be filled with feelings of guilt, shame, embarrasement, and remorse. Things will get better with time as you learn how to live a life without alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Congratulations on 9 days and a BIG congratulations for making it through an open bar. That's amazing - good for you. I find the small talk rubbish incredibly boring too. I also find the INTENSITY of everyone when they're drunk to be rather draining now. I know that when I've been drunk I've probably been 100 x worse but it's still difficult to get to the level everyone else is at when they're drunk.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Just Over 6 months here and have been on a few Social events. In fact I have found them to be really good, yes it is a major learning curve after you have been using alcoHELL like myself for the past 30 years and are devoid of any crutch to get you through.
The reality for me now is that a couple or three hours max is enough at these type of occasions whats said can be said, its only drink and people getting ********* that keep these events going longer.
I have found I am beginning to love the clarity and coolness of being sober, I will never ever have to worry about upsetting someone or saying something that i think is funny but in reality offensive.
Weddings I have found, where boring even when I was zombiefied, so sober I would not expect much differance.
Dancing sober, that's a different animal altogether LoL !
The reality for me now is that a couple or three hours max is enough at these type of occasions whats said can be said, its only drink and people getting ********* that keep these events going longer.
I have found I am beginning to love the clarity and coolness of being sober, I will never ever have to worry about upsetting someone or saying something that i think is funny but in reality offensive.
Weddings I have found, where boring even when I was zombiefied, so sober I would not expect much differance.
Dancing sober, that's a different animal altogether LoL !
Recoveringed
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Thump
Posts: 409
I heard, "If you're bored, you're boring!" Maybe not, but it drives home to me that I'm responsible for my attitude. I went to an amazing wedding last year, but I felt a bit out of place. Most of the other guests were dancing and having a great time. I was locked in self. Was drinking an option? No, but I needed a new selfless attitude. I'm grateful that I could start seeing that it was really about what I could bring to the situation, rather than what I could get out of it.
I have heard "boredom" given as a reason for drinking more times than I can count. I started sponsoring another woman recently that says she drinks because she's bored. I pointed out to her that setting fires would also be a cure for boredom. The ends don't justify the means. Seriously, whenever the solution to any problem is drinking, it's the alcoholism talking.
Enormous amounts of encouragement to you for your sober time. I have found that as a whole sobriety is an enormous adventure, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. In fact, my second sponsor won me over when they showed me recovery is cool, exciting, beautiful. They buried their 10 year chip and a pair of Union Jack undershorts on the top of Mont Blanc. That's the kind of recovery I wanted, and today that's the journey I'm on.
I have heard "boredom" given as a reason for drinking more times than I can count. I started sponsoring another woman recently that says she drinks because she's bored. I pointed out to her that setting fires would also be a cure for boredom. The ends don't justify the means. Seriously, whenever the solution to any problem is drinking, it's the alcoholism talking.
Enormous amounts of encouragement to you for your sober time. I have found that as a whole sobriety is an enormous adventure, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. In fact, my second sponsor won me over when they showed me recovery is cool, exciting, beautiful. They buried their 10 year chip and a pair of Union Jack undershorts on the top of Mont Blanc. That's the kind of recovery I wanted, and today that's the journey I'm on.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 583
Isn't it kind of sad one has to drink to feel happy and have fun? Is that what should define who we are. It takes a substance.
While stuff like that might not be as exciting as a football playoff game but in sobriety we are more out of self and into others. We can feel and express ourself to others being genuine without falling over. We can respect others decision in making a life long commitment..... and the list goes on and on.. yea it can be boring if we stay in ourself.
AG
While stuff like that might not be as exciting as a football playoff game but in sobriety we are more out of self and into others. We can feel and express ourself to others being genuine without falling over. We can respect others decision in making a life long commitment..... and the list goes on and on.. yea it can be boring if we stay in ourself.
AG
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 65
I disagree, it is not about coping with boredom. It is about rethinking the meaning of fun.
I stopped drinking when I realised that DRINKING is BORING, cause you end up not being able to talk to people and realise what is happening around.
How do you feel in the morning? That is also part of fun! What do you think :-)
I stopped drinking when I realised that DRINKING is BORING, cause you end up not being able to talk to people and realise what is happening around.
How do you feel in the morning? That is also part of fun! What do you think :-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missoula Montana
Posts: 11
congrats on making it through a wedding! i think a social event like that would be difficult for me right now. the boredom thing is something i'm also worried about as i work on my sobriety. i found myself asking "what do sober people do?" which actually a silly question when you think about it.
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