myjourney4me

I ask myself over and over why I continue to do this when I have been in recovery for so long. I get so frustrated with myself for starting over so many times. I think one problem I have been having is my meds aren't right...I had switched off and starting taking another one that was alot less in strength and it has been really difficult lately dealing with my depressed moods and working with a naturalpathic doctor for my thyroid...I'm just downright frustrated with trying to get things right that don't seem to get better. I've had some long time sobriety but dealing with this is making things really difficult. I've have been in AA many times but I live a way out and not many meetings and I have trouble connecting to people I don't know. I do have a friend that is in AA but I find myself hasitant to even get started again. I guess I just needed to vent today....thanks for any input.

Myjourney4me

Dee74

I don't know myjourney4me - maybe looking at your meds is a good way to go?

I know I needed to work both on my depression and my alcoholism to stay in recovery...I really couldn't work on one without working on the other if you see what I mean?

D

artsoul

I've know people with thyroid issues that struggled for a while until they found the right treatment. I hope you can find some solutions for yourself.

The problem with alcohol is that it affects every organ in the body and it will also make depression and anxiety worse. I always ended up an emotional wreck when I was drinking a lot.

Glad you're here - it's a great place!

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

tomsteve

This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.

Perhaps there is a better way - we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with sereni

mecanix

I only really quit when it was obvious to me, it would have killed me, which was at a point way past anything any sane person would have put up with .

My pridefull ego still occasionally tries to assert that "it" can have it all , that i can be like other people and their "normal" relationships with alcohol . With spiritual practaice i remain outside this egotistical stream of concious and see an alcoholic ego delusion for what it is .

Don't give up on trying , M

myjourney4me

Thanks so much for your replies....everything you said I have learned but I seem to move away and go back to my old way of thinking. I feel so resistant and defiant...don't know why for sure. I used to journal and that's how I kept closer to God but stopped that also. I know this depression thing is really getting to me and I just want something....I have another appoiintment the 24 of this month so hopefully I can get some relief soon. Thank you so much for being here as I'm having trouble talking to anyone about my feelings lately. When one don't have the depression going on also it can be very hard for them to understand. I will just stay close to the boards like I have lately because it seems to help.
myjourney4me

Stevie1

myjourney...I used the "do I treat the alcoholism or the brain cooties/depression first" question as an excuse to do absolutely nothing, for a while. Paralysis by analysis! I figured I had to poop or get off the pot and tackled both at once, which is fairly simple as it turns out.
Depression and alcoholism make it SEEM like everything is an insurmountable problem but really it's not.

myjourney4me

I think your right Stevie1..maybe that is my excuse to do nothing....I'm a terribel procrastinator. I have been telling myself for a month to get on the treadmill and fighting it every step of the way.