Ampsmarie

I finally made it to my first AA meeting yesterday and when asked if there was anyone in their first 30 days, I refused to raise my hand in fear of speaking... Today was my second meeting and I once again refused to raise my hand. I am making a promise to myself to admit in the next meeting that I am still in my first 30 days because if I can't be honest in the meeting then I am not being honest with myself. Has anyone else had this problem? What are your thoughts? If I can't admit the truth, I can't get better... Last time I was going to AA and not speaking but have spoken briefly at the last 2...

tomsteve

my thoughts? if ya dont open up ya cant get weller. them people are there to help and they cant do anything to help if ya dont let em help.

Jeni26

They only ask so they can reach out to you. AAers love newcomers, you will be given extra love and support xxx

DisplacedGRITS

remember, the other people want to share in your achievement. no one's going to think "oooooh! 30 days! i've got 30 years, newbie. suck on that!" it's a joy for everyone because we remember our 30 days and where we were. share it. you don't know that someone might need to hear it at that meeting. share it for you. you deserve the recognition. we hid in our addiction for so long. lets share sobriety.

Hexipuff

Hi There
First of all congratulations on taking the step to go to AA (no pun intended)

From my experience of going to AA I have never been made to speak. When I went to my first meeting I arrived a little early and was welcomed by individuals on a more 1:1 basis. I explained to the first friendly person that I was only 2 days sober and that I was nervous and not really sure what to expect. I was immediately looked after and supported. The people even took time once I had been introduced to talk about early soberity and their experiences. Advice was offered on how to manage in a practical way and I was given a welcome pack and I got my own copy of the big book. At no time was I put under pressure to speak but by telling someone I was new and in early sobriety I was nurtured.

I am now three months in and have made friends and feel comfortable at each meeting whether I speak or not.

I hope you find this useful

Take care and again congrats on taking the sober path

Stevie1

If the reason you're unwilling to speak up is because of shyness rather than an unwillingness to acknowledge....then you're not being dishonest. You're just being shy and I think that is very common!

That said, I encourage you to speak up...you don't have to say much. In fact it's OK to say you'd rather just sit and listen, everyone understands that. But AA folks really do like to see new faces and you'll get tons of support even if you only say about three words.

Ampsmarie

Thanks everyone... The meeting I went to yesterday, everyone had to speak... so I was brief. And today because not enough people were speaking, they just went around the room. Some did only mention their names and that they weren't going to speak... Yesterday there was a girl in her first 3 days and she was asked to dicuss what issues she was facing today. They did tell her she was the most important because they wanted to help her. I did mention I am new to the program. I just feel like my mind is setting me up for relapse although today has been a great day for me!

Rudie

Hey there! I'm new to AA myself. My clean date is May 29th. Welcome to the fold! Alcoholism is a very crafty disease. I have had many relapses before I got into the program, and began working the steps. It's the disease creating those thoughts. This is why the program has helped me so far. I have many more tools to stay sober.

Keep working it, find a sponsor if you haven't, and start working the steps!

tomsteve

it would be wise that at the next few meetings you go to, listen to the women that speak. you will know sobriety when you hear it, then get their phone numbers. now, dont just keep them numbers on a piece of paper on yer fridge. call em. the phone is lighter than a bottle and will help you a lot more.
prayers yer way.