Orbea

Hey everyone! In two days I'll have 2 months without alcohol. My mind is clearer, my overall complexion is nicer and I am learning how to live well and take care of myself.

Part of taking care of myself was doing something scary- go to the doctor. Actually, I HAD to go to the doctor...it is required for my work. I had avoided the doc as much as possible due to fear and shame. I went to urgent care a few times for this and that. There was also 2 ER visits due to both pneumonia and pleurisy and the other was for a kitchen gadget gone wrong. Each time my BP was sky high, like 150/110. Also I gained way too much weight.

I am glad to report that my BP is normal now and I do not have diabetes. One of my liver counts is 5 or 7 points high. ALT I think. I also have high blood calcium and my parathyroid I'd more than double the normal amount. I have an endo appt for that.

Long story short, after giving birth I went off my Wellbutrin and substituted alcohol. The dumbest thing I ever did. Led to 2-2.5 years of excessive drinking. A lot of guilt and shame.

As part of my journey in getting well I saw a psychiatrist a few days ago for depression and ADD. She asked me questions as I sat on her couch. I am back on Wellbutrin xl 150 everyday. I go back in 3 weeks to reevaluate meds. She agreed w ADD part which Wellbutrin may help.

She told me she thinks I may have BiPolar 2. She told me to read up on it and we can talk about it. Here is a wiki link.

Bipolar II disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

If I had a hypo manic episode it presented itself as irritability if anything...I can't remember having a feeling of elation or unrealistic optimism. The alcohol use is correct...and I have a lot of the depression symptoms. The one that bothered me most was bipolar 2 has a high rate of suicidal thoughts and behavior. I never had any of those.

It said it can manifest after childbirth, which would be true for me.

The most interesting find was from a different website that said some bipolar 2 patients have a high blood calcium level. A symptom for hyper parathyroid besides high blood calcium is depression and ADD. The only cure for parathyroid is to get it out. I have a feeling I I'll see a surgeon this fall.

Sorry this post is so long. Has anyone else been dealt a bipolar card?

DisplacedGRITS

right here! i'm actually on several medications on the list and have been doing great on them. i was on Wellbutrin for a very short amount of time. it increased my mania quite a bit and i reacted badly to it. everyone's different in how they react to medication i suppose. i stick to my medication now and have found it to be wonderfully effective i keeping me balanced. i'm no longer going crazy being in my own head. i can't describe how horrible it used to be when i wasn't on medication. i was never ok, sober or drunk. my head was always buzzing. i couldn't sleep. my paranoia was terrible. when i was good, i was great in my own head. and when things didn't turn out just the way i wanted them to, it was either everyone else's fault or my own and i either got mad or crashed into a deep depression and stayed there. and there was always drinking. ugh, it was so horrible. like being tossed in a storm. doesn't matter if you're on the cusp of a wave or in a trough, you're still in that damn storm.

thank goodness for science and medication! with that, SR, AA, therapy, my support network and my HP, i am happier now than i have ever been in my life. i am free!!!!

Stevie1

I've been diagnosed elebenty twillion times with BP2...personally I disagree (although some of the meds work) and I also think that quite often mood disorder/mental illnesses are subject to a huge amount of misdiagnosis and guesswork on the part of doctors, and even psychiatrists. I think I'm a naturally high-energy, Type-A person with MDD...which really is indistinguishable from "BP2" which became the flavor of the month mood disorder in the mid 1990s.

In other words, I don't take anything I get from a doctor at face value (living with a doctor for seven years, and personally knowing several very well, disabused me a long time ago of any notion that they're all that) although I'll take the meds if they appear effective. I've been dx'd with all manner of brain cooties over the years so I'm perhaps a bit jaded there too. BP 1 and 2, dysthimia, ADHD, MDD, PTSD, BPD (wtf, so absolutely not but that psy-doc was a real piece of work), SAD, blah blah.

Just remember, pharmaceutical companies can't get funding, loans or sell meds unless they have a name for what they are selling drugs for.

Certainly don't take anything you read in the DSM description as predictive. Question everything. I think that's a pretty good mottos to live by.

And finally - CONGRATULATIONS on two months sober!!!!

JoJo79

Congrats on being 2 months sober! I'm just a little over 3 months myself.

I haven't been dealt a bi polar card but I do have moderate depression and anxiety. Kind of like a chicken vs egg thing for me because I'm ADD and all the stuff that goes with it. I'm not which sure which cause which-the addiction causing the depression or me just trying to self medicate for ADD.

Have you looked into amino acid therapy at all? Aside from medication and surgery, there are a lot of other things that can help.

Orbea

You mean for parathyroid? If it doesn't come out you eventually get osteoporosis bc calcium is leeched out of bones and into bloodstream.

MemphisBlues

I'm beginning to doubt the accuracy and efficacy of diagnoses myself, or at least the pharmacological solution shrinks come up with.

I have been diagnosed with major depression, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and placed on the maximum dosage of every antidepressant, anxiolytic and other drugs for 25 years.

I have railed against anyone in AA ever questioning someone's medications -- and still do -- because I think they are necessary and no one should ever play doctor. The "you're not sober if you are on those drugs" crowd needs to steer way clear of me.

But I am weaning from a cocktail of drugs now -- Zoloft (off of it for past month), Lamictal (low dose) and trimipramine (an very old-school antidepressant).

Surprisingly, off the Zoloft I actually feel less depressed. Funny. Going on two years sober and I am beginning to question all meds. Two good books out there, "Mad in America" and "Anatomy of an Epidemic" by an investigative journalist who examines the entire paradigm of modern psychiatry, and analyzes research studies, medication trial studies, et all, and asks a really good question: If all of the modern magic bullets boosted by pharmaceutical companies and the shrinks who write the scripts, why have the number of mentally ill increased tenfold?

Then again, I nearly died detoxing from a doctor-prescribed dose of 20 milligrams of Klonopin, so my view may be jaded, no?

willquit

Parathyroid? My mom had this... When they diagnosed her one of the questions was about moodiness. Apparently it can make you feel really bad. I am not a doctor though...

Orbea

Did she get her parathyroid glands removed? My mom was a paranoid schizo w bipolar. She was way off her rocker. I had to call the cops on one sister 2 years ago bc she went nuts and pulled a knife out on us. My other sister is on meds too.

I told my hubby if voices start talking to me to get me committed ASAP.

I know I have the depression, am not suicidal an not sure if I ever had a hypo manic episode.

I am highly functioning, which is common w bipolar2.

I am just confused. I need to read more, digest more and journal some.

I appreciate everyone's input. That thing I read about AA and not supporting mood meds/psych pills reminds me of the time that Tom Cruise told Brooke Shields to take more vitamins and get over herself.

My mom was on several different drug combos. I wish they had a temper pill bc she was Jekyll and Hyde.

DisplacedGRITS

All i know is the medications i'm on have helped me. I tried to achieve sobriety without them but my head...i can't explain what was going on. I had exteme paranoia, an internal dialogue that never quit, racing thoughts at some points, extreme elation and mania followed by crushing depression...i never felt a middle ground. I used to always have a TV on because that's the only thing that quieted my head. I didn't hear other voices so much as i had conversations with myself that never stopped. Drinking until i passed out was all i could do to stop them. Now, i feel so balanced. I feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't feel doped up or strange. Severe mental disorders run in my family. I have some family members that are quite disabled. Not terribly close relatives thank goodness. I'll stick with what's working while it works. Like i've said, another tool in my toolbox.

MemphisBlues

DG...I hear you. I had all of the above during the first year. I don't want my previous post in any way to discourage people from meds. But yeah, the racing thoughts, slammed-to-the-mat depression, incredible anxiety, I had all of that. Still do to a degree.

It's just that as i near two years, having gone through a horrible, protracted withdrawal, and finding some fortitude in that I survived all that, that I am beginning to explore the possibility of getting of all meds.

Granted, for the first 20 years I was maxed out of pshych drugs, I was drinking and using. Still, when the Social Security Administration granted my disability claim on the first application, I was convinced I was terminally unique and might just as well as ride out life medicated, stoned and drunk.

I'm still on disability -- I paid in a lot over the years so draw the maximum payment, and along with a small retirement I tool early, I more than get by -- and I still consider myself disabled. But I have grown to the point where I admit my depression was with me throughout my life - like, 10? -- and am determined to give this life thing a try without medication.

Again, for 20 years the meds never really worked, from what I have researched the drug trials these things were approved for are specious, and the biggest surprise to me was that I actually feel less depressed after weaning from Zoloft.

WTF?