Jekyl and Hyde within me
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by Innerchild 
There are two voices inside of me. There is "me" I want to remain sober, be kind, sweet, loving, compassionate, sensitive, pray, wants to save the world then there is another "me" who likes to pop out at times and can be rather impulsive and rebelious.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Middle of no where, oklahoma
Posts: 2,696
Another one here, same problem...
Seem to be able to deal with my alter ego much better the farther into recovery I go and the farther along in the steps. I'm on step 4, seeing how ingrained he was.
Very interesting about Robert Louis Stevenson, my elementary school was named after him.
Seem to be able to deal with my alter ego much better the farther into recovery I go and the farther along in the steps. I'm on step 4, seeing how ingrained he was.
Very interesting about Robert Louis Stevenson, my elementary school was named after him.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 138
Alcohol allowed me to loosen up and have fun, to be the party girl. I had to learn how to be fun without alcohol. I simply forced my self to sing, dance, laugh, smile, and have fun without the alcohol. It has gotten easier as time goes on. I didn't have a problem being silly when I drank, so I allow myself to be silly and goofy without drinking. The upside it I am not falling down, slurring my words, I remember what I did, and I don't have a hangover in the morning. It can be tough at times to relax and party without alcohol, but usually after some upbeat music and a woo-hoo or two I can enjoy myself.
Grateful AA member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In the middle of the woods, NJ
Posts: 567
Wow, BC thanks I could totally relate to that paragraph I know Ive read it before but once I connected it with my own life it makes a lot of sense.
I am not alone in this thinking!
I am not alone in this thinking!
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Yes, indeed! I call it the "Divided Self". I gather that there is a primitive part of the brain, sometimes referred to as the "lizard brain", located just above where the brain is attached to the spinal chord. Here reside all sorts of emotions useful for survival (fear, lust, etc.). When the body has become dependent on alcohol, this part of the brain works overtime to make sure that the alcohol supply is not reduced, sending all sorts of "witch messages" to the more rational parts of the brain, such as "One drink won't hurt" "I can stop any time I want to" "I deserve something to celebrate" "I need one just to get to sleep", "One wlll help me forget", etc. etc. And if there is no crisis pending the "thing" tries to generate one by encouraging compulsive, obsessive, perfectionist, self centered behavior, which is bound to be rebuffed by the real world ("The folks out there don't understand me!")
Someone once told me, "You are your own worst enemy." You better believe it!
W.
Someone once told me, "You are your own worst enemy." You better believe it!
W.
Grateful AA member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In the middle of the woods, NJ
Posts: 567
Welcome Louise, at many points i think we all believe that we are unfiable but stay around you will find that many people recover and feel the same exact way you do and you are fixable.
wpainter very well said I can completely relate I am writing a memoir and describing that obsession for alcohol once that addictive voice consumes me.
wpainter very well said I can completely relate I am writing a memoir and describing that obsession for alcohol once that addictive voice consumes me.
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