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such an idiot

Old 07-13-2012, 05:22 PM
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such an idiot

hi everyone, thanks to the people who have sent notifications asking how i am. i wish id seen them much sooner as i think they would have given me the strength to get through tonight. basically iwas off the drink for over a week with detox meds and everyone that knew i had a problem where proud of me and saying they could see how much happier i seemed and i have felt great except cravings. iv never felt the urge to drink through the day but on my second day, at 8.30 am i felt i could have drank a can of lager which was odd for me but i have been able to fight it. i had a job interview yesterday, a job i have wanted to do for a long time and even though i got turned down for interview the first time i applied (as it was a questionnaire through their website) i emailed them directly stating why i wanted the job and asked them to reconsider my applcation and then was over the moon to be invited for interview but i still didnt get the job although the manager did state that he thought i would be suitable for another position as he saw i was keen and had potential so advised me to apply for this other position should the position comes up and hed be more than willing to interview me again and even told me he had entered me into a talent pool where if i apply for another position i will be guaranteed an interview as he believes i have the potential and ambition to work for them but the job i want is very very rare and i could be waiting years so i resulted in buying drink and i feel disgusted. i phone my mam to tell her my cravings were overpowering me and she was telling me to fight it and was disappointed in me and so i feel so much guilt that iv let my family down and iv also let my doctor down. he prescribed the detox becasue i said i couldnt take drinking anymore yet here i am drinking because my cravings become overbearing
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Old 07-13-2012, 05:25 PM
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Whats done is done Sharp.
I think the way forward is to focus on today.

I'm sorry for all the problems with detox and stuff - but maybe now it's time to get a little more proactive while you're waiting and look at other options for support?

I hope you'll get a call back on a job before too long too. Be ready for it

D
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Old 07-13-2012, 05:42 PM
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Sharp, I hope you get back at it and keep working on stopping drinking.
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Old 07-13-2012, 05:42 PM
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thanks dee i have sent may letters to other similar companies and only 1 has got back to me saying they dont have anything at the minute. this is a job i have my heart set on and when i heard the feedback after my interview i was kicking myself as the answers seemed so obvious one id been told. even the manager was disappointed as he said he was trying to give me hints throughout the interview without giving the answers so i know he was willing me to pass the interview. when i applied the closing date was for the 15th june when i was still drinking and after not hearing anything after that date i thought i wasnt succesful but then 4th day into my sobriety i got an email for an interview and i felt like it was a reward for not drinking but after not getting the job i lost faith and turned to drink
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Old 07-13-2012, 05:46 PM
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One thing I've found is life will still have triumphs and disappointments, even now I'm sober....it's the way life is

But staying sober during the disappointments leaves me ready for those opportunities that will always come along and help put me back on top again.

Like I said above, Sharp - stay sober - be ready for those opportunities.
They'll come

D
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Old 07-13-2012, 06:03 PM
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thankyou, i really wish id come here before i decided to get drink, iv learned a valuable lesson that if i ever feel the need to drink youse are here to help me realise its not the solution, even my boyfriend has praised me the last week and said hed felt hed gained back the person he met from day 1, the person that was happy and fun whereas whilst drinking i can be a right miserable cow and have panic attacks when i get up practically allday everyday. its just the craving, the craving is horrible and unfortunatelty i succumbed to it tonight.
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Old 07-13-2012, 06:11 PM
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stick around and try again!

faith is walking through our fears, it's action in motion...

stay stopped, your job is waiting for you...
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