Innerchild

Thanks guys. I know the craving to drink passes and it will only make things worse. I just miss having friends, some one just to chat with and I feel so frustrated with having a case manager, a therapist, a sponsor, AA. I want to just be myself without talking about alcoholism or depression. Its all getting to me. I am so emotional about it.

TheCrazies

I found AA to be not for me, SMART Recovery however helped me a lot, 6 yrs clean now!

RobbyRobot

Hang in there, Innerchild. That day will assuredly arrive! Just don't sweat the naysayers, and enjoy your journey. You have every right to be yourself, so know that to be true!!

RobbyRobot

Wanting a drink does not equate to you not doing the program. If all of us had to wait until we didn't want a drink before we acknowledged we were doing the program, none of us would be sober, lol.

Relax. Wanting a drink is just what it is. No problemo. The program has answers for that want, as you already know. Some people have the want removed quickly, others not so fast. No matter. Don't sweat wanting a drink. As you continue to recover, you're want will become history. It happens at different times for each of us.

Innerchild

If people dont want to drink why go to AA

Lost3000

Did you see my post? I often feel that my posts on this forum are ignored. Or more like buried. Perhaps take some time to read posts here. Just a thought.

DisplacedGRITS

Sobriety is a muscle. You stop working it out, it's going to eventually wither and fail you.

Innerchild

Lost I am reading thank you! I am venting ok

RobbyRobot

Everybody suits themselves, you know? Myself, I hardly have been to an AA meeting for many years now. I seldom go. So what, lol.

When I do go, its great. The fellowship is awesome.

Lost3000

OK, I hear ya. To answer your question, AA is like insurance for me. I go when I'm happy. Because sometime in my life unhappiness will come and then I can rely on my AA friends, mtgs, and sponsor.

Innerchild

What I am saying is that my sponsors or people in the meetings seem to love you and want to be there when your working the program not when you are struggling ive been to tons of meetings

Lost3000

I understand. I'm not saying it isn't true, but perception is everything. Have you tried being blunt, honest? I did that in a mtg the other w/regard to God. It didn't get the best reception, or so I thought, but then several people walked up to me afterwards and shared the same thoughts I was having.

Innerchild

Hopefully these feelings shall pass I am missing my old life when my life was working out, training hard, and weightlifting it hurts and I cant afford to join a gym right now. I need that release. I neeed to dance and weightlift thats who I am

Innerchild

Lost, I would be beaten over the head with the big book if I brought that up LOL

Stevie1

Maybe you need a new sponsor, then? A good sponsor ought to be there for the bad as well as the good.

Because this has not been my experience at all. Although I will grant you that many AA regulars are unwilling to invest a whole lot of effort into people until they see some effort...can't blame them really since lots of people show up only sporadically, or because they're court-mandated and never return once they've got their paperwork.

Also I've come to realise there's a definite difference in meetings, each one has its own vibe. Again, I don't know if you have choices or if there's only a few around you but if it's an option, branching out might be interesting.

CaiHong

Hi Innerchild,
I can really relate to how you feel. I felt very much like that in AA at the beginning, I wanted a friend more than anything and I really didn' t feel any connection to anyone in the meetings. I hardly ever called anyone. I wonder if I would have made it to more than one year sober without the support of SR.
I did my fourth step and something shifted and I believe I had a spiritual experience and some of the promises came to fruition.
I am hearing what you are saying about just wanting to talk to someone without mention of AA the big book and so on.
I now see that most of my uncomfortable feelings were due to alcohol withdrawal, PAWS which can go on for a long time.
Yesterday at a meeting we were discussing gratitude, the consensus being that we are grateful for being sober and for "getting it" and as Sugarbear touched on,we have no reason why we have but we have and we believed it is because we gave up the struggle and surrendered to the HP
Innerchild don't give up.
I am in another country for at least 3 months and the only meeting is a group of three, four including me. I have at last found someone whom I can really talk to, newly sober I may have not been ready for this relationship, a lot of the struggle I needed to do on my own.

Love
CaiHong

Lost3000

Well, for cryin' out loud - I can certainly understand that! You gotta find a way to exercise, be it running around outside or calesthenics in your home.

Stevie1

Well yeah but some members might benefit from a quick reminder of what "honesty" entails, then!
That is for both you and Lost and yes Lost I read your posts.

Lost3000

Then I'd say you definitely need a new mtg. One you feel comfortable in. We are all drunks. No one is above/beneath you.

Innerchild

I have found many but it must be me bc I just dont get it LOL. I want to go to meetings and stay sober