Getting worried about tonight
 

We have friends coming round this evening who drink and with whom I always drink. My husband drinks, sensibly, and that doesn't bother me. The problem is when we are ll round table, with bottles of wine it is going to be hard. I don't want to drink and am adamant I won't but I'm feeling so anxious and nervous about it. I've even taken diazepam which I've not done in months just to ease the anxiety.

Sorry, just wanted to say it, I know there are no answers. I can't get out of it. Whilst I can go to bed I can't go too early nor do I want to look rude.

How do people manage in these situations? What has worked for you?

Last time it was a situation like this when I drank after 7 weeks.

Maybe you need to rethink putting yourself in that situation again? I'm not sure why you feel you can't get out of it..... are you afraid of disappointing your husband or friends?

Putting your recover first is a healthy thing - there's nothing wrong with making choices that help us stay sober, even if it doesn't please everyone else. I think you should do what's best for you, jhe.....

I was reading your post and then when I got to the end, I thought oooooh. Watch out. Major warning signs. You gotta get out of it, somehow. How about a backup plan of some type? Involve your husband with your backup plan if you can. Say you have a headache, and gotta lay down - then go to your room and read sobriety literature. That's one of my tricks for getting myself centered again. Mainly reading stories of those who were down and out - that helps me remember why I'm sober. Good luck.

I agree with everyone else. It seems that this is a big trigger for you. Is there anyway to have the alcohol in another room if you absolutley can't get out of it? I know it's not much, but maybe not seeing all the empty bottles and empty bottles may help??

Why can't you get out of it?
It's your house, and if these are real friends, they should be understanding, as should your husband. Either no drinking at your house tonight, or they drink and you remove yourself from the situation.

I was recently at a party where almost everyone was drinking. I made sure i always had a cup near me filled with a nonalcoholic drink. As soon as it was empty, i filled it again with the nonalcoholic drink so there was no time for it to sit empty. That way, if someone offered me a drink, i always had one already. I also found it easier to go right back to the nonalcoholic drink right away rather than sit with an empty cup for a while and think "hmmmm...maybe i could fill it with just half a glass of mojito since it's empty."

Thanks for the responses

I should have said I can't get out of it as it is connected to my Husbnd's business. It is not a case of being scared of letting him down or them etc.

As I said, my husband drinks at home and that doesn't bother me. I can't now suggest he stops drinking and I don't want to anyway. I don't expect everyone else to change their lives just because I have


Anyway, things are fine, drinking soda water

Take a deep breath and try to not worry too much about it. It's good to be aware and prepare for events like that where we know we're going to be vulnerable but as alcoholics we're also prone to worry and seeing doom where ever alcohol is. Just because it's going to be there doesn't mean you're going to drink it. You'll be tempted but that's ok. It's part of the real world. If it gets to be a bit much, excuse yourself if possible and just drop us a quick line here. Relax but be vigilant and enjoy yourself tonight. All you have to do is not take that first drink and you sound strong enough in your sobriety to do that. You've got it!

Thanks GRITS. you are right, there are events etc that really can't be avoided.

I posted my op quickly-it was an extendeded family meal with many people here last time when I relapsed. I don't like large groups anyway and will def not be having one of those again in a long time!!

Thnks for all the responses. I am breathing deeply, sippiing soda water and soon off to bed and leave them to it.

OK, well good for you in being strong!
I'd have a tough time right now being around alcohol in my house...

thanks stevie

i hope my reply didn't sound abrupt

How are you? Is it your oh who drinks? with me my husband drinks a drink which I don't particularly like. it would bother me if he drank my favorite-I could not deal with that

I'm glad things were not as bad as you feared, JHE :)

D

I make sure I have a drink in my hand too. I have never stopped drinking, that would kill me. I only stopped drinking alcohol. If I go to the supermarket there are literally hundreds of soft drinks, juices, drink mixes, fresh fruits for smoothies and squeezing. Find some especially enticing for you and that you would normally not splurge on. Lots of them are too many calories for everyday anyway. Like a particularly expensive fruit or drink or imported tea or water? I'd bet ounce for ounce it/they are cheaper than imported and/or fine alcohol.

I like tall drinks and use a Tervis 24 oz for mine or a large tumbler.

Good luck tonight. I am not so worried that you will drink as you might start making yourself more stressed than needed to resist. Have fun and when or if you aren't, do the same as when you were drinking and they ran out of booze, leave the party.
:c033:

I had a few of these situations early on JHE, work related stuff which I couldn't get out off and where there would be plenty of alcohol. I dealt with it by being a hyperactive host, making sure everyone else had a drink in front of them. People are more likely to notice that you're not drinking if they're looking for their own next drink. And plus lots of rushing around does help to burn off any nervous energy. I hope you have a good night x Stay strong x

No I live alone which is both a good and a bad thing depending how you look at it. It does mean I can control my immediate environment, though! For better or worse.
But I have a few friends and a boyfriend who drink...luckily they are all supportive and the bf doesn't drink around me, or tones it way down, and I can handle that.
I have been known to show up at social functions with a liter of carrot juice, a four-pack of Red Bull, etc....as long as I have something tasty and/or with caffeine I'm all good!