gunner1

I want to sell my soul........ I miss my wife and dogs. Dont know where to start. The rush of emotions is to much right now. I want to shut down.

T

Stevie1

It can really suck for sure.
Getting wasted won't help, though.

artsoul

You're on day 3, right? You're probably still detoxing. It's really common to feel weepy and go through a lot of emotion. There were a couple days when I just lay in the bed and just tried to let the time go by. It's going to get better, I promise.

Do whatever you have to in order to stay sober..... eat, watch TV, pray, take it one minute at a time, stay here and keep reading...... you won't feel like this forever.:ghug3

Anna

Try to hang in there and believe that it will get better.

danielle0754

We've all been through it. It does get better. Keep on pushing. Every morning that you wake up sober is an accomplishment. You can at least feel good about that and look forward to those moments for now until things get better, and it DOES get better.

ReadyAndAble

I'm really sorry. I know what it's like to feel a void, an aching absence.

For a long time I drank to fill that place. Only later was I able to see that drinking was the cause, not the cure. Changing that one thing changed everything.

Hang in there. Life really does get better.

Hevyn

So sorry you're feeling this way, gunner. We are sharing you pain - we've all been to that place. The others are right - you won't stay on square one forever, and it will ease up. You'll have hope again, and happiness too. I know it doesn't seem possible right now - but if you let yourself heal things will look very different.

Glad you are here, talking about your emotions. You're never alone.

DisplacedGRITS

It's going to feel awful for a while but we wouldn't be here telling you that it gets better if it wasn't the truth. Keep hanging in there. Drinking won't make anything better. You know that as well as us. You just need to hear it again from people who have been there and we have. Those feelings of misery, like the world and you just aren't right...we've been there. When i was detoxing i remember being so depressed at times. It felt like there was the world and i was living about two steps to the left of it. I didn't fit in and i wasn't right and i was miserable and there wasn't a damn thing i could do about it. Whatever your misery feels like, it will pass. You'll get feelings of impending doom as well at times for no damned reason. They will pass. We know. God do we know. Stay with us, Gunner. You're going to be ok.

gunner1

Managed 3 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours. Still a mental mess. Have to go to work in 2 hours for a string of 12 hour days. I'll have to hide my emotions as I am in a leadership roll. I am extremely greatful that I have an understanding supervisor that has understands his personal goes through rough times. Hopefully the long hours will allow me to sleep tonight.

T

gunner1

Just wanted openly say "Thanks" for everyones support.

T

Dee74

Hi Gunner

Some of us dug some pretty deep holes...it can take some climbing til we see the sun again...but we can, and you will, if you keep moving in the right direction...don't lose faith

D

CaiHong

Hi Gunner,
Things will get better as everyone says and hopefully you will be so tired and busy, the days will pass quickly as your body detoxes.
Love
CaiHong

soberbrooke

Just read through your past posts, I feel for you, as I have been there many times. I just don't want to deal with life on life's terms, I just want to die, I want to sell my soul, etc.....
I am going to look at your dreams here-

first one: the cops and all the search dogs came into the house and i went and grabbed my gun quick and the one dog attacked my dog.
The House is your Mind
The Gun is wanting to get rid of a part of your EGO (Which is Easing God Out)
Dogs are very forgiving creatures - they are God
Search Dog - are you searching for God?
Cops - being helped by someone

Only you can interpret the dream for yourself - I am just giving you some hints to help.

2nd dream: i was sleeping in my dream and heard my dog outside barking like crazy and it was getting eaten by a wolf

Wolf - belittled, criticized or condemned by someone around you (e.g. a parent, alcoholism).
The wolf is eating your God possibly
Barking - time to wake up, and start living right


then 3rd dream: my girlfriend freaked out on me when i was dead sober in my dream saying i was all messed up and kicked me out.

Are you exactly this? Are you all messed up? Does your girlfriend freak out over your alcoholism?

When I got into sobriety, I was all messed up emotionally, mentally and on my Soul levels. Physically I am ok, need to loose a few lbs, but that's about it.

I write down all of my dreams in a journal every morning and self analyze them. It really gives me exactly what my Soul wants me to know. I am a Spiritual Body having a physical experience. This life is what I make of it. I can choose to want to sell my soul and live in hell, or I can choose to go to AA and get back into heavenly thoughts. It is what works for me, AA. I need to hear the other people talk, they are mirroring to me what I need to hear from my Higher Power.