4 months oxy-free today...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: My Own Headspace
Posts: 158
4 months oxy-free today...
Life is okay.
It's just okay.
But "okay" is a heck of a lot better than it was when I was popping pills.
I've missed them a few times lately, mostly when I couldn't sleep, and remembered how they'd knock me out.
And also how they'd numb the emotional pain.
Even so, I have no real desire to use them again.
I had no chance of working on the core issues that brought me to that darker than dark place with those pills.
Four years ago, I would not have imagined that prescription pain medication for a back injury would feel so good. And the ironic part is, that taking Advil and doing my PT exercises help the pain almost as well.
Still lots of work to do, demons to face, dragons to slay, and all that jazz. Trying to work on socially isolating. My children are away for the summer, and I've gotten into a sort of funk of just going to work and coming home and staying put.
I was told I might get laid off, and I suspect it's because of all the times I've called in sick over the past year and half when I chose to stay home and pop pills. I was told it was because we're not getting referrals to our agency, and that my agency can't justify paying me my salary with me having such a small caseload. Maybe it's both, I don't know.
In any case, life is okay.
It's just okay.
But "okay" is a heck of a lot better than it was when I was popping pills.
I've missed them a few times lately, mostly when I couldn't sleep, and remembered how they'd knock me out.
And also how they'd numb the emotional pain.
Even so, I have no real desire to use them again.
I had no chance of working on the core issues that brought me to that darker than dark place with those pills.
Four years ago, I would not have imagined that prescription pain medication for a back injury would feel so good. And the ironic part is, that taking Advil and doing my PT exercises help the pain almost as well.
Still lots of work to do, demons to face, dragons to slay, and all that jazz. Trying to work on socially isolating. My children are away for the summer, and I've gotten into a sort of funk of just going to work and coming home and staying put.
I was told I might get laid off, and I suspect it's because of all the times I've called in sick over the past year and half when I chose to stay home and pop pills. I was told it was because we're not getting referrals to our agency, and that my agency can't justify paying me my salary with me having such a small caseload. Maybe it's both, I don't know.
In any case, life is okay.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Hi,
I was just reading your other thread from 5/13 - you have such a good spirit, I am glad you are hanging in there. 4 months without oxy is very, very good. The first few months I quit drinking I just told myself that all I had to do is go to work, take care of me and my animals and not drink. If I did that every day would be a success. I have depression problems too, and it really sucks. Pills and alcohol just made it worse - glad I am out of that cycle...I was going down very fast. So don't drink so that you can deal with whatever happens in a logical and intelligent manner. Remember you are a survivor (you are). Take care, Jilllian. Elizabeth
I was just reading your other thread from 5/13 - you have such a good spirit, I am glad you are hanging in there. 4 months without oxy is very, very good. The first few months I quit drinking I just told myself that all I had to do is go to work, take care of me and my animals and not drink. If I did that every day would be a success. I have depression problems too, and it really sucks. Pills and alcohol just made it worse - glad I am out of that cycle...I was going down very fast. So don't drink so that you can deal with whatever happens in a logical and intelligent manner. Remember you are a survivor (you are). Take care, Jilllian. Elizabeth
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,383
Congrats on 4 months Jillian - I found the first 4 months 'ok' too but it got better...even with all the stuff life can throw at you.
I hope the next four months are even better - and I hope that 'might' doesn't happen
D
I hope the next four months are even better - and I hope that 'might' doesn't happen
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 19
Hi Jillian,
Way to go on 4 months pill free. That is something to be proud of! Keep it up. I am at 31 days, reading posts such as yours gives me inspiration and hope to keep staying pill free. It wasn't easy, but the pure hell that was endured at the beginning, keeps me wanting to stay on path each day. I never want to go back to that sad way of life. I appreciate you sharing on here and hope to read more posts on your progress. Keep your chin up and take care.
Way to go on 4 months pill free. That is something to be proud of! Keep it up. I am at 31 days, reading posts such as yours gives me inspiration and hope to keep staying pill free. It wasn't easy, but the pure hell that was endured at the beginning, keeps me wanting to stay on path each day. I never want to go back to that sad way of life. I appreciate you sharing on here and hope to read more posts on your progress. Keep your chin up and take care.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
