gnly

Are there non aa support groups out there? I like AA well enough but want to explore a little bit. Last year my sponsor had expectations of me that resulted in the that end of a friendship and it hurt. My sponsor could also be passive agressive, and was bad at communicating. Also i felt baby sat a little bit, i didn't like checking in. On that note what is the best way to find a sponsor if i choose to follow the aa program?

ru12

Try SMART. They have face to face meetings in lots of cities.

soberbrooke

Go to a meeting and pick someone else. I needed a "Dr. Phil" type personality and that's what I got.
Start praying to find the right person, that will be able to help you on your path to recovery. Prayers work wonders in this program. You will meet the right sponsor soon. Have faith, which I didn't have a lot when I first got into this program. Since then, my faith has grown and continues to grow.

onlythetruth

I'm a fan of SMART Recovery too. Meetings in lots of cities, and at least two meetings online every day. SMART doesn't use sponsors, by the way.

hypochondriac

Have a look at AVRT too Gnly. There's lots of info on other methods over in the secular connections forum.

Personally I think SR is a pretty good support group in itself

Where can we find the online meetings for SMART Onlythetruth? My nearest actual meeting is over an hour away from me.

freshstart57

The online SMART meetings have focused discussions on how to deal with those urges, with that voice that urges us to take a drink. I recommend that you take a look at the website Self Help Substance Abuse &amp Addiction Recovery | SMART Recovery®. If you want to feel empowered in your recovery, SMART is a good place to start.

The link has a schedule of online meetings too.

whimarde

I am inneed of help but I can not do AA, this is a small community, it would be detrimental to my family....i would like to meet someone online that i can talk to. I just joined today, cant even contact anybody directly because i have not posted anything yet.... i want to be sober, but need help!!!!

onlythetruth

Someone else posted the link to SMART Recovery, so I won't repeat that. I should probably point out that in order to access the online meetings, you have to join SMART online, which also gives you access to the message board and chat room. Anyone who is interested, go check it out and see.

Like here, it's totally anonymous (unless you decide you want to use your real name, which we do not recommend!)

onlythetruth

wimarde, we're all here for you at SR, and you can do SMART Recovery too, which also has an active message board, a 24/7 chat room and a couple of online meetings every day.

Retread59

There is a secular recovery section here at SR, which you can find at:
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

There might be some additional suggestions for you there. Hope you find what works for you!

Itchy

You sure came to the right place. First off to answer your question directly I found this from the AA group themselves online to be a great way to find the right sponsor for you! Read it and you may find you can find one that can help you if you choose to follow the AA program.
http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

I used AA for the first three months of my sobriety and would not change that if I ever had to do it again, but I won't relapse so no issue. I recovered. It took medical in hospital 7 day detox at my request, SR, AA, my Docs for insuring nothing was wrong with my liver or anything else along the way. I have pretty much recovered my health too. I also did a lot of reading at the Smart online pdf archives:
SMART Recovery® - Tool Chest and Homework
I posted and read here extensively. I did counseling and pretty much dropped all the meetings and outside support after about three months. Except for here on SR, but that is mostly paying back my frioends here that helped me get recovered.

My approach is to take what you can use and leave the rest. Do the same when reading any of my posts. Something in them might work for you, other parts not so much.

That is the same with every group represented here for me. I shamelessly stole whatever it took for me to get sober, and did whatever it took. I am fond of the organized ones like AA and SMART that I used heavy at first but only to stop by and say hi I am fine once in a while now.

I am still here and at some point will fade away from here too. Not to relapse but to spend even more time living free of addiction. (No, I can't ever drink again. No I won't after X or XX number of years relapse because I convince myself I can be a normal drinker. No I won't decide to finish the job of slow suicide by deciding to drink again. No I am not struggling not to drink anytime. Yes I am too lazy, and self indulgent, to go through all that detox and PAWS and illness mess again even if I knew I could recover again. That is the point of being recovered. If I need anesthetic I will get it from a doc for a specified period only, I am a lousy self medicator. If my life is bad because of any bad decisions, I will do the work to fix them then make better decisions sober and press on.)

One thing I did notice is that many AA folks take extreme exception to using the word recovered so if that is your goal be aware of what the big book says about it up front, some of those who take exception to saying that seem to miss it. Go here and read it for yourself:
AA FAQ

Many of us are recovered. Join us.

Dee74

as you can see gnly there's a lot of recovery approaches represented here

The one thing I suggest you might want to do tho is work out whether your grievance is with your sponsor or with the programme of AA before you decide to strike out in new directions

D

gnly

I feel bad now aboutcomplaining about my sponsor. I talked with someone about this in a meeting this morning and i realized i could have communicated better. I had even come on this forum and ripped her to shreds. I realize now that she had good inTentions and i always thought she was a good person. I actually emailed her telling her i'd like to be friends if she wanted. I think i hurt her feelings too. She could have communicated better too. She's a cool person. I also realized today that the reason why i didn't stick with the program is because i wanted an escape from the depression i was experiencing, not that i believed that i was a drunk. I belive that more now, but there is still an element of denial. I'm going to chew on that first step for a while. I want to check out non-aa stuff just to see, but i aalways thought aa was a positive thing, even when i quit.

Itchy

If you are dealing with clinical depression you might want to see a doc. Let us know how you are doing and what you find. It could help another on the same path you are traveling.