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Question about husbands drinking

Old 07-07-2012, 08:29 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by aeo1313 View Post
I plan on jet-skiing with my daughter...a lot!!!
There you go...Think about what you can do...Not what you can't do...Besides aeo....If you drink...I'll rip your head off!
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Old 07-07-2012, 08:39 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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aeo1313 have you considered seeing a therapist about all these feelings you're having?

And, for the record, yes you are 100% out of line asking a non-alcoholic to not drink.

You want harsh? Then I'll add - how dare you?
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Old 07-07-2012, 08:42 AM
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I think those feelings are called early sobriety...The best treatment for them is more sobriety.
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Old 07-07-2012, 08:45 AM
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You could make yourself crazy trying to control what other people do Aeo. I only say that because I try to do the same myself

Only one person I know has limited their alcohol intake around me and I nearly cried I was so happy. It was a very sweet thing to do. But then that person has set the bar too high and now I'm p;issed that no one else does the same. When family visited my stepdad was drinking beer in my house and it was the first time anyone had drank there since I quit and it drove me crazy. My family in no way show any consideration to the fact that I might find it hard to be around alcohol. But then they actually just don't get it.

Just make sure that your vacation is in no way centered around alcohol. Plan lots of sober activities. You are well within your rights to say you don't want to go to any bars. If your husband wants to drink then you are entitled to do whatever you want too.

Sorry...I'm getting indignant on your behalf x
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Old 07-07-2012, 08:59 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by aeo1313 View Post
He only did that once...last week...and the kids were gone.
And was it one or was it two weekends later when he was drunk again, up talking to the new neighbors at 11pm?

Please know I'm not trying to bust your chops or accuse your husband of having a problem. I'm just regurgitating the data you've distributed piecewise throughout your body of posts.

We tend to excuse our spouse's drinking because, well, we were willing accomplices up until the point we stopped.

And FWIW, for years I drank 6+ beers per night without my wife having the first clue. Moreover, on weekends/vacation I could down 12+ throughout the day, all the while never "chugging" and never give the impression of drunkenness.

I've said too much.
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Old 07-07-2012, 09:48 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Thanks everyone. Our trip is not drinking centered. Its centered around swimming, jet skiing, reading, and family. It will be fine.

Ranger, thanks. In the past I have questioned my husbands drinking. I said something a few years ago to him. Whatever. I have to worry about myself.
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Old 07-07-2012, 09:56 AM
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Just have fun aeo!
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:00 AM
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Originally Posted by aeo1313 View Post
Thanks everyone. Our trip is not drinking centered. Its centered around swimming, jet skiing, reading, and family. It will be fine.

Ranger, thanks. In the past I have questioned my husbands drinking. I said something a few years ago to him. Whatever. I have to worry about myself.
Ding, ding, ding - circle gets the square!
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by aeo1313 View Post
Ranger, thanks. In the past I have questioned my husbands drinking. I said something a few years ago to him. Whatever. I have to worry about myself.
Thanks for tolerating me, AEO. I mean no harm....honest! I wouldn't be so ardent if you guys were childless or empty nesters. Having impressionable, young children makes it difficult (if not irresponsible) to be wholly self-focused. At the same time, as folks have rightly pointed out here you can't take on anything that might threaten your young sobriety. It's a tough spot, AEO, and I feel for ya.
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:36 AM
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I can understand your frustration, but your alcoholism shouldn't prevent your husband from responsibly drinking on vacation. Every one I know drinks day and night on an R&R vacation, but they tend to pace themselves, sipping a cocktail by the pool or a glass of wine with lunch. I would be rip-roaring drunk by 2pm and passed out in the hotel by 5pm....
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:10 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Ok. It is definitely my problem, not my husband. I am waiting tables right now and a table just ordered a second round of margaritas and it pissed me off that they get to relax and have drinks on a lazy Saturday afternoon. I really need to come to grips with this!
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:37 AM
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No words of wisdom, but I totally relate to what you're feeling.
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Old 07-07-2012, 02:15 PM
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Hiya, I just want to second what peeps have said. My hubby is the same and on our last vaca I had the odd thought of 'oh I wish I could drink like that' but I also had thoughts of 'how dang weird is he drinking like that' lol. Acceptance that I just couldn't and moving on to the fun is the key. Seriously I had the BEST vaca, remembered it all, felt SO relaxed and had no guilt! You'll love it
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Old 07-07-2012, 02:53 PM
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.It's ok, aeo. You've got to fine some way to come to grips with this anger. It's had you in it's teeth for the past week or so. I understand it. I get that way ax well at times. For me, i had to stop seeing it as i was being denied a pleasure because when i stopped drinking, alcohol had not been a source of pleasure for a long time. If i could go back to drinking for pleasure then i would but that door closed a long time ago. I don't know why but i think we have to see this sobriety as an opportunity. It's an opportunity to work on our lives in other ways. I'm applying it to my spiritual and social life. I'm also letting it feed my sense of self worth. Staying sober was an impossible task such a short while ago and now it's something i do almost second nature. It's a great pat on the back! Remember, your sobriety is a victory you achieve every day. Celebrate it in your heart. Enjoy your vacation. You're going to have a beautiful time!
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