In a hole, but ready to start climbing.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 0 .· ` ' / ·. 150
Posts: 38
In a hole, but ready to start climbing.
Hello,
I would just like to introduce myself, my name is Corey, I am 26 and I am an alcoholic. I hope this doesn't sound like a war story, but this is my track record and my past experience with AA/ 12 step.
I have always had an addictive personality as long as I can remember. I had my first drink when I was 12, I drank here and there from age 12-14. then pretty much stopped when I started smoking pot regularly.
I should probably mention I realized I was gay about this age, and at the time it was my huge secret and I was ashamed for it. I think this is what drove me to drug use. I got in trouble in highschool for pot and was given the choice of a in-patient 12step program. My parents and I decided on one in montana. I spent a year at it, it was a really laid back group home type of place. I went through the 12steps and attended AA meetings weekly and I did 1 year and 2 months without any drugs and alcohol.
I started smoking pot again when i got back home and never really drank very often. I have always had trouble with school and my Jr year I decided to dropout and get my GED.
After my class graduated I had many friends going off to college, I started to feel alot of regret for dropping out as well as the inner turmoil of being a closeted gay (hating yourself and being terrified someone will find out) I felt like I was getting left behind.
I began drinking to get drunk... alone, I was 18 but had my older brothers ID so getting booze was not an issue. Most times it was just 3-4 beers
I moved out of my parents houseto an apartment, I began drinking hard alcohol by myself. My routine turned into "get home from work, nurse a pint of vodka while I tinker with my reef aquarium"
over the years I eventually came out of the closet and accepted my homosexuality. I still was a hard drinker though.
These past two years is what led me to this day. I started becoming reclusive and drinking more and more. This past year I have been drinking about 1/5th every evening about 6 days a week. I started seeing a therapist lately and when I told her I was drinking a 1/5th a night she was pretty stunned. I recently had a friend ask me "why are you doing this to yourself?"
them saying that made me sick, because I couldn't answer that question
What I do know is, I am ready to stop this self inflicted destruction and change my life.
I would just like to introduce myself, my name is Corey, I am 26 and I am an alcoholic. I hope this doesn't sound like a war story, but this is my track record and my past experience with AA/ 12 step.
I have always had an addictive personality as long as I can remember. I had my first drink when I was 12, I drank here and there from age 12-14. then pretty much stopped when I started smoking pot regularly.
I should probably mention I realized I was gay about this age, and at the time it was my huge secret and I was ashamed for it. I think this is what drove me to drug use. I got in trouble in highschool for pot and was given the choice of a in-patient 12step program. My parents and I decided on one in montana. I spent a year at it, it was a really laid back group home type of place. I went through the 12steps and attended AA meetings weekly and I did 1 year and 2 months without any drugs and alcohol.
I started smoking pot again when i got back home and never really drank very often. I have always had trouble with school and my Jr year I decided to dropout and get my GED.
After my class graduated I had many friends going off to college, I started to feel alot of regret for dropping out as well as the inner turmoil of being a closeted gay (hating yourself and being terrified someone will find out) I felt like I was getting left behind.
I began drinking to get drunk... alone, I was 18 but had my older brothers ID so getting booze was not an issue. Most times it was just 3-4 beers
I moved out of my parents houseto an apartment, I began drinking hard alcohol by myself. My routine turned into "get home from work, nurse a pint of vodka while I tinker with my reef aquarium"
over the years I eventually came out of the closet and accepted my homosexuality. I still was a hard drinker though.
These past two years is what led me to this day. I started becoming reclusive and drinking more and more. This past year I have been drinking about 1/5th every evening about 6 days a week. I started seeing a therapist lately and when I told her I was drinking a 1/5th a night she was pretty stunned. I recently had a friend ask me "why are you doing this to yourself?"
them saying that made me sick, because I couldn't answer that question
What I do know is, I am ready to stop this self inflicted destruction and change my life.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 553
Hi Woot! Welcome to SR.
You're only 26 and you have your whole life ahead of you if you accept some help and start now. Looking back, if I would have stopped when I realized I had a problem, my life would be very different now. Try it and see what happens.
You're only 26 and you have your whole life ahead of you if you accept some help and start now. Looking back, if I would have stopped when I realized I had a problem, my life would be very different now. Try it and see what happens.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 0 .· ` ' / ·. 150
Posts: 38
thanks for the welcome.
I know many are not going to agree with this, but I am willing to give detoxing at home a shot. I have been doing some reading and withdrawl sounds kinda scary. I have never been through it.
I really don't know what to expect. I do know that with my heavy use it will not be a walk in the park.
I want to avoid a clinic because I haven't told my family the extent of my use. I know if my mother knew what /how much I drank it would just kill her. I am not ready for that yet.r
I know many are not going to agree with this, but I am willing to give detoxing at home a shot. I have been doing some reading and withdrawl sounds kinda scary. I have never been through it.
I really don't know what to expect. I do know that with my heavy use it will not be a walk in the park.
I want to avoid a clinic because I haven't told my family the extent of my use. I know if my mother knew what /how much I drank it would just kill her. I am not ready for that yet.r
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Corey 
Letting alcohol get out of control is something that usually creeps up on us. How do you feel about going back to doing a 12 step program? What did your therapist suggest?
We have a GLBT forum here if you felt like introducing yourself there too x
Letting alcohol get out of control is something that usually creeps up on us. How do you feel about going back to doing a 12 step program? What did your therapist suggest?
We have a GLBT forum here if you felt like introducing yourself there too
x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 0 .· ` ' / ·. 150
Posts: 38
My therapist is worried I am going to become really sick these next few days (if I make it through today) due my extreme current intake.
She wants me to go to a clinic and do it under medical supervision, I admit I should probably listen to her. I am going to try doing it at home, if I feel my life is in danger I will go to the hospital.
As far as after detox recovery is concerned, Im not sure what my plans are, Im just going to take it a day at a time. I am glad I have previous 12step experience. I know it has given me some tools for dealing with this monkey on my back.
I am also greatful I found this forum as I am sure it will provide support as well as something to do to keep me from boozing.
She wants me to go to a clinic and do it under medical supervision, I admit I should probably listen to her. I am going to try doing it at home, if I feel my life is in danger I will go to the hospital.
As far as after detox recovery is concerned, Im not sure what my plans are, Im just going to take it a day at a time. I am glad I have previous 12step experience. I know it has given me some tools for dealing with this monkey on my back.
I am also greatful I found this forum as I am sure it will provide support as well as something to do to keep me from boozing.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Join the 'Class of July' Woot. It really helped me to be quitting with other people at the same time
Could you make an appointment with your doctor. Not everyone has the opportunity to do an inpatient detox so there are ways of doing it at home but you need your doctor to check you out. Could you cut down for a few days first? I know that's a really hard thing to do but just quitting cold turkey is really dangerous. Keep us updated on how you're doing x
Could you make an appointment with your doctor. Not everyone has the opportunity to do an inpatient detox so there are ways of doing it at home but you need your doctor to check you out. Could you cut down for a few days first? I know that's a really hard thing to do but just quitting cold turkey is really dangerous. Keep us updated on how you're doing x
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