Up down all around
 

Im tellin ya my emotions are already all over the place.

Day 2 in the books.

Didnt drink and didnt sleep much.

One minute Im firm and think this will be the time I make it for good.

I feel great, hydrated, look good and work better.

The next minute Im thinkin screw it! Just go out and finish the job.

Get so drunk that nothing even matters. And enjoy it.

The thought of callin my alcoholic buddy even crossed my mind for a second.

Im not gonna do that this time. I deleted his number!

I sure hope something stabilizes in my head and I dont completely lose it.

White knucklin aint the half of it...

Im gonna have to fake it till I make it.

Keep going, Fallow... you're heading in the right direction. It gets so much easier. 2 days is wonderful... that's amazing. Don't let drink get in the way of what you can see in your future. You know you're better off without it. I know it's hard at the beginning but it's worth it, so very worth it.

Why don't you go to a meeting and get some numbers from people that know how to get sober?...Is there some reason that you have to do this on your own?...I mean...Online support is great...But a proven program of recovery would make sense now...Wouldn't it?

Every time you have a self-defeating thought, banish it. Replace it with a good thought. You have loads in you. We believe in you Fallow. You have the power to make good choices. Sending you strength. :ghug3

Two days and you feel much better? Cherish those early rewards! Hang in. Don't "screw it!" It gets even better!

It will get better Fallow :)

I couldn't cope either when I felt like I was white knuckling it. To drink or not to drink became an obsessive thought round and round and round. Fighting in my head between me and the addictive voice. Mentally exhausting.

I feel much better this time round as I have removed the option to drink. I don't drink, simple. When that annoying voice comes calling to say oh but you do, or you can... then I shut it up and tell it I don't and I won't. Try as much as you can not to think about drinking at all.

You can do it :)

I felt the same way as you do when i first got sober. I immersed myself in AA meetings, sometimes 3 a day. It was the only thing I could really do. I drank a lot of Welches grape juice, ate a lot of sugary candy and just took the ride of my life. I am in a much better place right now, with 6 months behind me, and I am finally seeing the light at the end of my tunnel.

Fallow, I think most people go through this white-knuckle roller coaster. Seriously...it does get better, the cravings do fade and you will get more balance and control if you stick with it now.

AA may help if you are so inclined. Or an activity that's incompatible with drinking, such as physical exercise. You KNOW you feel better on every level not drinking, and proud of yourself too, right? And you KNOW that drinking won't fix everything and will make you feel like crap afterwards.

Hang in there! I feel SO much better when I resist after days like this. I even spent most of one Saturday in bed, because I wanted to drink SO badly and knew if I got up and around, I'd cave in and hit the liquor store at some point. So I stayed in bed, reading and dozing and having a pity party. But I felt great the next morning because I resisted. :)

It's just a ride Fallow. Go with it, acknowledge those bad thoughts just don't act on them. We don't act on every thought that goes through our head right? I would be in so much trouble if I did! ;)

Once we accept that we simply don't drink anymore, it becomes easier.

I had loads of ups and downs early on but they weren't anywhere near the extreme of the ups and downs I had when I was drinking! Eventually it levels out, as long as we don't drink x

hi there!
congrats on day 2!
i felt like serious crap on day 2, so it's good to hear you're feeling alright:)
no need to go it alone, though- AA has been amazingly helpful for me.
any interest in checking it out?
hil