least

Welcome to the family! :ghug3

kiki5711

Is there not a part of you that comes out while drunk still inside though?

I had been a happy drunk most of the time, but with troubles in life, I would become reckless drunk, but still a part of me.

I don't know, just thinking.

WaterMan12

@Sapling I have not, I will give it a read tonight. Thanks for the link.

@innnerchild I drink I become a Monster. No More Alchi. No More Monster.

@least Thank you!

@kiki5711 This is scary because The Monster will always be inside me. If I have behaved once like a monster I am capable of doing it again.. the monster is a part of my character. BUT When I am sober I can mediate the monstrous emotions, through rational thought, and therefore I have control of my emotions... When I drink I loose all ambition and control becomes a non priority. The Monster will always be there, but by not drinking I feel secure that it will no longer hi Jack control of me.

Sapling

Let me know what you think of it...I thought they wrote the book about me.

sissy07

You sound very self-aware. Isn't it amazing all the sh!t we put ourselves through because of alcohol. It almost ruined my life. It never gets better, it gets worse when you drink. There is a lot of good souls six foot under that couldn't quit. You deserve better....you have a lot going for you. Best wishes.

Dee74

Welcome to SR WaterMan

One of the great gifts of recovery for me has been the chance to be the real me again - the authentic me - and the person I want to be.

Good to have you with us

D

WaterMan12

@sissy07 Thank you .. I do deserve better. We all do. The bottle is down for good.

Zencat

Hi WaterMan

I lived in Redondo for a wile. Its a happening spot.

Along with my AA involvement I found CBT and likewise therapies offer me a balanced wellness plan. Maybe have a look at these links; SOS, LifeRing,
SMART, CBT, DBT and AVRT and see if any of them may be helpful.

Boozebeast

I also become a monster. Can't remember 95% of it, butI hear from everyone around me. I become a terrible terrible person! I'm a pretty nice guy otherwise. I'm great at starting to drink, but eventually horrible at stopping. I've tried aa, after my third dui years ago, because it was required. I met a woman who was worse off then me, she stayed at my house for 2 weeks, until I checked her into detox, literally across the street from whereI lived at the time. I also met a drinking buddy, who I eventually had to break ties with, because even I was disgusted with his drunkenness and drug abuse. So I didn't really get what I should Have out of it. So now I'm here, on this forum to see what it's all about. I've destroyed relationships, friendships, cars, parts of my body, permanently, and many other things with my black out drinking. I'm on the verge of destroying another relationship because of drinking. My birthday and Christmas are both coming up. I'm very nervous about these because these have been reasons to drink for decades! I feel I will be strong about it, but as I said, kinda scary man! Never done this before, so I know I'm all over the place. I hope any start is better then nothing on this forum deal?!? Just wanted to applaud this post because it is exactly like me! I'm in my late 40's and I should really have this beat by now. Slow learner on this one! Inspirational post!!! More later, it's late. My best to all!

D122y

I see that in some folks when they drink.

Some get cheery and nice, that was me usually, others get mean and nasty.

I work w a bunch of type A.s many of them get very angry when they drink.

I am sure they know it and, for many, it is probably why they don't drink that much.

It is double edge sword. Happy drunks probably drink mm ore and do more damage to their bodies and minds. Angry drunks get in trouble and have to quit before they are physically and mentally ready.

Both types live in a hell on earth until they can break the cycle and live clean.

Thanks.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Boozebeast

D