Need a push
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 22
Need a push
Im new here, obviously. Im in a lot of pain. Im a 35 year old construction worker whos had alcohol and drug problems since the age of 9. Somehow Im still alive. Ive been through all the drugs like everyone else Im sure. Booze/Pot/LSD/Cocaine/Opiates/Whateverelse. For the last few years Ive found myself hooked on DXM. Ive been to meetings spilling my soul and it works, Ive been alcohol free but the dxm didnt stop. I need help. How do I get off this cough syrup of death? The **** is killing me and its caused me to go out drinking again.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Welcome aboard I didnt try ever being sober till 39 and can relate to you I used and abused everything Acid to Zanax for decades. Like Sapling said seek a doctor and get yourself detoxed and a plan. AA saved this alcoholic and addict. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 22
Ive been going to meetings off and on since I was 21, which is probably the only reason I was spared prison. Its like Im missing something. Im powerless, no doubt, over any substance that alters my mood. My life is unmanageable, Ive never bothered making it, Ive only used my ass off. Im so tired of it. My body must be a mess.
I wish someone would just be honest with me. Ive had sponsors before and it was hinted that I was the type that couldnt be saved. The type who drank themselves to death. Maybe not hinted but I picked up on it. Just tell me you know.
I wish someone would just be honest with me. Ive had sponsors before and it was hinted that I was the type that couldnt be saved. The type who drank themselves to death. Maybe not hinted but I picked up on it. Just tell me you know.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Shallow -
Glad you're here! I'm sorry you're in pain, though.... I think that's where any kind of addiction takes us in the end. You sound like you've had enough and want something better for yourself and there's no reason you can't have it if you're willing to do "whatever it takes" to get sober.
Have you tried other resources (doc, psychiatrist, rehab, addiction specialist?) or other recovery programs in addition to AA/NA? One thing I love about this forum is that it's available support 24/7 - I've learned a lot and been inspired by so many of the people here. I haven't had a drink in 2+ years and still come here every day.
Start believing in yourself - you can do this.....
Glad you're here! I'm sorry you're in pain, though.... I think that's where any kind of addiction takes us in the end. You sound like you've had enough and want something better for yourself and there's no reason you can't have it if you're willing to do "whatever it takes" to get sober.
Have you tried other resources (doc, psychiatrist, rehab, addiction specialist?) or other recovery programs in addition to AA/NA? One thing I love about this forum is that it's available support 24/7 - I've learned a lot and been inspired by so many of the people here. I haven't had a drink in 2+ years and still come here every day.
Start believing in yourself - you can do this.....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Shallow 
Its like Im missing something. Im powerless, no doubt, over any substance that alters my mood. My life is unmanageable, Ive never bothered making it, Ive only used my ass off. Im so tired of it. My body must be a mess.
I wish someone would just be honest with me. Ive had sponsors before and it was hinted that I was the type that couldnt be saved. The type who drank themselves to death. Maybe not hinted but I picked up on it. Just tell me you know.
I wish someone would just be honest with me. Ive had sponsors before and it was hinted that I was the type that couldnt be saved. The type who drank themselves to death. Maybe not hinted but I picked up on it. Just tell me you know.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
It even says you can suffer from emotional and mental disorders...And still recover...It just takes getting honest with yourself..I'd start with admitting to yourself that you are an alcoholic and your drinking days are over...Get a sponsor...Ask your Higher Power for help and while you are getting honest...Get busy!...You can do this...Forget anything you know about AA and start at square one....That's that blank page at the beginning of the Big Book....Study that book with your life.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,900
Welcome to SR Shallow
Maybe its time to expand the recovery resources your using. Have you considered using other recovery tool along with AA. have a look at these recovery tool; SOS, LifeRing,
SMART, CBT, DBT and AVRT and see if there something you can use to help you get and stay clean and sober.
Now that your here at SR, continue posting, receiving support, giving others here encouragement to continue with their drug/alcohol free life as is as helpful to them as it can be for you.
Maybe its time to expand the recovery resources your using. Have you considered using other recovery tool along with AA. have a look at these recovery tool; SOS, LifeRing,
SMART, CBT, DBT and AVRT and see if there something you can use to help you get and stay clean and sober.
Now that your here at SR, continue posting, receiving support, giving others here encouragement to continue with their drug/alcohol free life as is as helpful to them as it can be for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 22
I'll be honest with you...That thing you are missing...Is getting honest with yourself....If you can't do that...It don't work. Our literature tells us that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Shallow
I sat in meetings for years unable to speak because of fear. After a decade of sitting in meetings unable to speak something happened and I was able to talk, finally. I love speaking in meetings now, it comes naturally, keep coming back worked, so far. How do I become more honest, Ill do anything.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Shallow
I sat in meetings for years unable to speak because of fear. After a decade of sitting in meetings unable to speak something happened and I was able to talk, finally. I love speaking in meetings now, it comes naturally, keep coming back worked, so far. How do I become more honest, Ill do anything.
Recovery is a process, you have to go through the process.
All the best.
Bob R
Sobriety date 12/19/2011
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 409
I never realized what a "gateway" drug was until I got sober. I use to think that maryjane was ok, as long as I am not drinking. However, after smoking, it would always lead me back into drinking.
So now that I am sober, and really honest with myself, I don't do anything. I am relying on my Higher Power to get me through life now, not the alcohol and drugs.
So now that I am sober, and really honest with myself, I don't do anything. I am relying on my Higher Power to get me through life now, not the alcohol and drugs.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
This is key.
We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work. You can easily see why.
We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work. You can easily see why.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 22
I'll be honest with you...That thing you are missing...Is getting honest with yourself....If you can't do that...It don't work. Our literature tells us that.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Vancouver, wa
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by Sapling
I'll be honest with you...That thing you are missing...Is getting honest with yourself....If you can't do that...It don't work. Our literature tells us that.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
It even says you can suffer from emotional and mental disorders...And still recover...It just takes getting honest with yourself..I'd start with admitting to yourself that you are an alcoholic and your drinking days are over...Get a sponsor...Ask your Higher Power for help and while you are getting honest...Get busy!...You can do this...Forget anything you know about AA and start at square one....That's that blank page at the beginning of the Big Book....Study that book with your life.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
It even says you can suffer from emotional and mental disorders...And still recover...It just takes getting honest with yourself..I'd start with admitting to yourself that you are an alcoholic and your drinking days are over...Get a sponsor...Ask your Higher Power for help and while you are getting honest...Get busy!...You can do this...Forget anything you know about AA and start at square one....That's that blank page at the beginning of the Big Book....Study that book with your life.
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