Itallinyourhead

I started taking vicodin (appx. 30-60 mg per day) about 5 years ago. At first I took them occasionally for the pain it was prescribed for, then it turned into every day (as prescribed) and soon turned into "oh no, my prescription is not due for 5 more days and I'm out!" So, I called friends, family anyone who could help me get through till my refill. After struggling for a year to try to maintain my "prescribed" dosage (40mg per day), I usually celebrated the first week, then took them as prescribed, then in the last week scrambling to make the prescription last, I decided I didn't want my life to revolve around these f**** pills any more. I've wanted to stop so many times in the past only the fear of withdrawals (as I experienced them slightly when I ran out) kept me convinced that I needed them to stay "normal." I also feared the pain I was taking them for would resurface and didn't know how I could deal with work and family in pain. I will also admit, popping a pill gave me the energy boost I needed sometimes to get stuff done. I will add that I am married, work full time and have two kids under 6. My husband has known about my medication, however, never knew about my addiction. I can finally say it. I called it my "dependence" but the truth be told, I'm an addict. About 6 months ago, I tried to taper. I knew the only way I could do it was by having someone feed me my dosage. I broke down and told my husband. Being that he has never taken anything before, he didn't understand the big deal but was on board. After a month, I told him that I was good and could do it from here but the prescription was filled and I was soon back to my 40-60mg per day (and now couldn't face telling him that). I finally had enough and realized that I couldn't taper. I managed to finished my prescription just before the start of my vacation from work and didn't refill it. I knew I couldn't have those nasty little pills anywhere around during my rehab. Cold turkey. The first 4 days were pretty hellish. Started with the sweats, RLS, muscle pain. Then came the headaches, the diarreah, runny nose (oh my where did it all come from!!!), sneezing and sour stomach. I was tired but restless and had my little ones running around between school and my hubby coming home from work. But, I have to say, by day 6, I started to see the light. We went out on a day trip, my first in several years SOBER!!! I was scared I wouldn't be able to keep up without my energy boost from the pills but I did great! I couldn't believe that I didn't even need them! I went up and down from there, some days tired, still getting the RLS at night, although not nearly as severe, but it was still better than the way I felt between doses (don't miss the mood swings and headaches I used to get when I was running low and had to streatch my doses). I wake up without that groggy feeling and every day gets better. Here I am, day 16 and I feel incredible! Ok, I'm not ready to run a marathon but I can get through my daily activities just fine with the help of some vitamins and supplements (and a bit of caffeine). I can't believe I was so scared to go through this and now, WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG! I'm out of the grips of those stupid things and actually feel free! I know I have a long road ahead of me, but taking each day as it comes and thinking how far I've come keeps me strong! And knowing that my kids never knew about my addiction and hopefully never will helps. I need to be a role model for them, not a hippocrate!

Sorry for the long story but I've read so many in these forums that helped me through my recovery. All I can say is to admit to yourself that you have a problem, you need to. Its ok, it actually feels good to say it out loud. Cold turkey is the way, addicts cannot taper (as long as you don't have underlying medical problems that could become life threatening, otherwise definitely go to a rehab center), stock up on immodium, pedialight (or other hydrating drink), advil, multivitamins, amino acids, B-vitamins, potassium vitamins, advilpm or benadryl, and set aside atleast 2-3 days for the worst. After that, just tell your coworkers you have a stomach virus I looked up the Thomas Recipe and I can't say if it worked since I cannot compare, but I used it and maybe it did. I have no experience with using other prescription medications to help with withdrawals but honestly, I cannot fathom getting through these withdrawals then going through another from something different. I hope my story is an encouragement to those who fear stopping for fear of withdrawals or anyone who thinks they can't do it. As for the pain I was taking them for, who knew that a few advil could take the edge off and make it managable! I did, and so can you It is mind over matter and in the end, it is so worth it!

IndaMiricale

Welcome

Sapling

Welcome to SR Itallinyourhead....Congrats on your 16 days!!....Great to have you here!