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Old 07-04-2012, 05:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
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No more conditions...


I used to say: I'll stay sober if I lose weight, if I feel better, if life works the way I want it to, if I feel inspired etc....
This time: no conditions. I will stay sober period. What were some of your conditions for staying sober?
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Old 07-04-2012, 05:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I used to say, I'd stay sober if my husband stopped travelling all the time and if my (then) teenagers would 'behave themselves'.

Once you make drinking no longer an option, your mind begins to work in a different and healthy way.
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Old 07-04-2012, 05:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Effort,

As long as i'm breathing. Really had enough

Seriously seeing the illusion that alcohol is. Once i fully get that, i think freedom comes. Abstinence first though! (sucks a bit!).
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Old 07-04-2012, 05:52 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I tried to drink away my anxiety for 6 years. It only made it worse. The last 2 months was derealisation for the most part all day long, panic attacks etc.

The severe withdrawal symptoms - the sweating, the shaking, the sleep deprivation, 5 days of deep depression to massive panic to depression and back to panic.

If i want to go through all that hell again all I have to do is pick up a drink.

7 days sober and feeling pretty damn good.
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Old 07-04-2012, 06:12 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Mine was a typical AV comment...at 2+ months when I wasn't feeling much better, I thought 'well, give it 6 months and see how you feel then'...like if I didn't feel any better I could carry on drinking because the damage was already done...

I had loads of ones before quitting, not that I thought of them as conditions, but things like looking at other people who didn't drink who still had weight issues, anxiety issues etc...and thinking that if quitting alcohol doesn't solve all of my problems then what's the point...!

I now see that as crazy thinking, but it just goes to show how alcohol can warp your thought processes! x
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Old 07-04-2012, 06:34 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Condition aka excuse. My biggest condition used to be "when I stop hurting like this, I'll stop." That didn't change until the pain of staying as I was became greater than what it would take to get sober.
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Old 07-04-2012, 06:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
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When I started AA....I thought it was going to teach me how to drink
without negetive consequences ... me.

When it did not...I found a whole better lifestyle and the only "condition"
was that I don't drink alcohol...
At first that was not easy....but I stayed around to learn "How to"

The best decision I've ever made...
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Old 07-04-2012, 06:51 PM   #8 (permalink)
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When I read this line...And I saw what they had...This was the only condition I needed.

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.

bb pg 58
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Old 07-04-2012, 07:02 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Old 07-04-2012, 07:16 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Cool post, effortjoy!

I made up conditions as I went, from day to day. There was always some reason it wasn't the right day. Relationships, work, mood. I literally used the weather as an excuse. It's sunny and warm—gotta have a beer on a day like today. Oh, it's rainy and dark—a night like this requires a glass of wine. Idiotic. Amazing how much more I enjoy sunny days and rainy nights sober.

That said, there are no conditions on my continued abstinence, either. Good times, bad times, it doesn't matter. At this point the old triggers are just reminders of how lucky I am to no longer see alcohol as something that makes me feel better, either in good times or in bad.
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Old 07-04-2012, 07:42 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Conditions for continuing to drink? I can't possibly stop drinking now because I am terrified of having to deal with this issue that is driving me crazy. Then I learned that alcohol was the main ingredient in the crazy, and the issue seemed to almost go away by itself once I stopped drinking.

A more interesting question for some of us is what are your conditions for remaining sober? I might drink again someday if I fail to ....? I hear folks say that they started to drink again for some reason or other. Do you have an unconditional sobriety? Or can events transpire to make you change your mind?
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Old 07-04-2012, 09:40 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble View Post
That said, there are no conditions on my continued abstinence, either. Good times, bad times, it doesn't matter. At this point the old triggers are just reminders of how lucky I am to no longer see alcohol as something that makes me feel better, either in good times or in bad.
What if you did see alcohol as something that made you feel better? What then? Would you drink? Is seeing alcohol as something that makes you feel worse a condition for your abstinence?

All conditions for abstinence are automatically conditions for drunkenness. Seeing alcohol as "poison" is an all time AV classic, little more than a speed bump for the Beast. It can easily see through any such tricks.

Tighten up the loose screws! Call the Beast on its last remaining bluff. Decide to abstain even if alcohol did make you feel better.

(You'll know what I'm talking about when you do.)
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Old 07-04-2012, 10:22 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Fear not, Dalek. I will double check all the screws, lol... I said there are no conditions. Being grateful for something is not the same as being dependent on it. I'm hip to the wonders of AVRT, but I'm not going to give up my gratitude. That would be like giving up laughing...
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Old 07-04-2012, 11:00 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I'm hip to the wonders of AVRT...
Ahh, but that is precisely why I responded as I did. Were you not, I would probably have skipped over your post. Hipness is a double edged sword, and I would expect the same from you.
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Old 07-04-2012, 11:03 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I have no conditions for staying sober. Sobriety is my lifestyle choice now. Like vegetarianism. Heck, it's more like a spiritual fasting. I abstain to keep my mind and spirit clear and open to my environment and enlightenment. I know i will never be at peace with myself or the universe if alcohol or mind altering drugs are part of my life. That being said, i'm on medication for my bipolar disorder but it's not a drug that alters me the way alcohol does. It would be nice to be totally free of all drugs but i know what i'm on helps keep me sober and is just another tool in my toolbox.
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Old 07-05-2012, 03:20 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I can't even contemplate it, to be honest. I won't let my brain latch on to those "ifs" because I think it's a very dangerous place to be. If I say to myself: "I'll stay sober if I don't mess up ___" I'm almost guaranteeing that at some point an if will come true. It's just not worth giving that voice anything to cling on to.
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Old 07-05-2012, 07:06 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I am not in touch with my conditions as of yet. I will have to think about that.

But I know that a light bulb went off this time! I just HAD to do it. No major health reasons, save high blood pressure, but i just had to do it this time. I am so grateful that it worked.
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Old 07-05-2012, 09:02 AM   #18 (permalink)
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A more interesting question for some of us is what are your conditions for remaining sober?
Pretty simple for me: My sobriety is contingent upon saying "no" when offered alcohol.

As an active member of mainstream Western society, my continued sobriety will require countless such "no thank-yous". To be sure, the vast majority of these will be mindless and automatic. But who knows...life is long and as I sit here today I cannot in good faith claim that thirty years from now I won't be genuinely tempted by that gold margarita my wife just walked to her beach chair.

Could happen...seems entirely reasonable.

But enter mindfulness: I am an alcoholic. I believe that through the decades, the primary threat to my sobriety is allowing literally thousands of drinking opportunities/invitations to create the delusion I am not alcoholic.

Is this a condition? Yes, at least IMHO. But I'm cool with that. It's hardly unique, as everything I hold dear in this world is also conditional (e.g. strength of relationships, physical health, etc.).
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