Sunny27

Hi there all

I had an aawful dream, well, I was going to say last night, but it was actually this morning.

In the dream I was the old me, the drinking me. I was at a party and I was drunk. I can't relly remember what I was doing but the dream carried on to the morning when I was in a blind panic asking people what I had done, what had I said, had I upset anyone, been with anyone, made a holy show of myself?

I woke up terrified. That was what I used to be like. I am almost 6 months sober, so I remember only too well the fear after drinking to excess.

I was so glad obviously that it was just a dream, but I keep thinking about it and wonder what brought it on?

I was in SR a lot yesterday so maybe reading all the stories triggered me to remember what I was like.

I am not sure, but it scared me. I never want to be that girl again. I hated loathing myself like that.

MrsKing

This has happened so many times to me, too. I wake up with that absolute fear of OH GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE!? And in my dreams sometimes I relive the worst things I've done whilst drinking... it is horrible. *HUGS* it is very scary, but that fear also keeps me sober. Fear can also be a good thing when it warns you not to do things, I think. I hope throughout the day you stop feeling this way. Be proud that ISN'T you any longer x

Sunny27

Thank you MrsKing

I really appreciate your reply.

That girl scares me. I know how easy it is to slip back into my old ways even though I am determined to not let that happen.

But, you are a right, it does serve as a reminder and that will keep me strong.

If I ever had any doubt I was an alcoholic, that dreamd confirmed it. Why would anyone put themselves through that horror all the time and NOT address it.

I hope I stop thinking about it soon, I am sure it will run its course sooner or later.

Thangs again

Sapling

You're not...It was a bad dream. Love yourself today...You almost have six months sober! CONGRATS!!!

soberbrooke

I haven't had any of those dreams yet, I haven't been able to remember ANY dreams for about 5 years. I am somewhat of my own dream interpreter though, I write down ALL of my dreams, have since the early 90's. If I dreamed that, I would look at it as the part of me that I no longer want to be. It would be a reminder to me. It is good you woke up scared. It is scary when we revert back to our old behaviors, especially when they are negative ones. When we try to release to old patterns and step into the new, the fear creeps in. I only have 5 months, 6 on the 19th, so I am early in my recovery. Keep up the good work, it has been difficult for me, but I am keeping on my path and you can too.

JustBreath

Oh Sunny! I feel you chicky <3
My brother had me hold his cigarette and beer Saturday while he was doing something with the slip and slide for the kids.

I was scared out of my mind... here I was 1 day away from 90day alcohol free and 30day nicotine free with a beer and cigarette in hand.

I obviously gave them back with no indecent but that night I dreamed that I actually smoked and drank. I was crushed as I was waking up asking myself WHY?! I was so ashamed and baffled as to why I would do this to myself!

Than it hit me.... I didn't smoke or drink! It gave me a little flavor of what I would be feeling if I had though.

I think maybe, these type of dreams are good to have.
Like a little reminder of why we quit in the first place and how strong we need to be at all times.

You are doing an amazing job Sunny, I am so proud of you and Gratz on your 9th day nicotine free!!!!

:ghug3:

Sunny27

Thanks everyone

I feel better about it now and I am going to remember that terror I felt, I really am.

I never want to feel so low in myself as I did the mornings I woke up after drinking the night before and not knowing what I had said/done. It is such an awful feeling.

Fair play to you JB on your 90 days and the non-smoking. I am catching up to you with the smoking.

I am going to have no vices left

Thanks again all xxxx

PeacefulRain

I had a dream similar only I was drunk but I hadn't been drinking. Crazy! Glad to wake up and realize it was only a dream

josh3

Sunny

You need not worry over dreams, they are exactly what they are, just dreams Not reality. I do feel though they serve some purpose, and this will only reinforce the strength and determination you have inside you to stay sober. You are doing so wonderfully good! Over 6 months! Keep your chin up and know that you are a changed woman and use the dream to your advantage- in this case as a deterent to ever go back to that way of living. You are a strong beautiful woman and I have faith in you that you can and will beat anything that comes your way if you put your mind to it. *Hugs* to you!