bipolar heroin addict
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: texas
Posts: 1
bipolar heroin addict
I've been giving many diagnoses and been a gunieea pig to the pharm company's the diagnosis that I think and have been told I have is bipolar but I have sum pretty crazy delusions that have lasted five years n in the last five months have had heard voices in my head and had crazier halucanations that r crazyier than I've had on mass quanites of psycedellics n other drugs since I was 20 I've been using heroin and beer on n off suboxone n methadone its been a hellish journey and all the pscy meds doctors give me don't help so tired of waiting for all this to go away if i use heroin again I'll end up homeless burned alot of bridges I but its the one thing that makes me numb to all my problems the needle it self is a drug to me I've gone as low as shooting up gadarade when i didn't have dope and I can't get my family to understand all my problems and why I do what I do I have a resentment to the 12 steps been in the program since I was 19 and worked all the steps n did a throughro 4th step made ammends yada a and my sponser told my deepest secrets to everyone I know so I'm done wit that I have some faith in god and have tried that route for awhile and had some spirtital experiences but my delusions made me run from that see I can't tell if this **** is real or in my head no matter how many people tell me it is I just want it to go away and not in a bad way I've been abusing drugs since I was fifteen and don't know how to socialize without drugs I don't know if I'll ever learn to I'm just so use to it and god knows if I'll ever get a girlfriend that accepts me for all my issues and where I'll meet her sorry for the long rant any advice would be much thanked
Recoveringed
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Thump
Posts: 409
You sound like a good old fashioned addict to me. I should know, I'm one too. If I lived in your part of the world, I'd get in touch with DAA or HA. I know that within my network, these are trusted, recommended groups:
Drug Addicts Anonymous
Drug Addicts Anonymous
Meetings in Texas: Drug Addicts Anonymous
Heroin Anonymous
™H e r o i n** A n o n y m o u s
Meetings in Texas: ™
They both use the Big Book, which changed my recovery and my life.
I don't know what happened with your old sponsor, but I wouldn't let anyone or anything get in the way of my recovery. I believe this because it's also my experience: "Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house."
I'd like to give you the biggest hug ever. I'm glad you're reaching out. Since you have faith, I'd suggest asking your HP for his protection and care with complete abandon. You can pray for the strength and direction to move forward in your recovery. One thing about the God of my understanding is that he really loves his children, all of them. Much love and prayers from me to you.
Big Book quote from the first edition
Drug Addicts Anonymous
Drug Addicts Anonymous
Meetings in Texas: Drug Addicts Anonymous
Heroin Anonymous
™H e r o i n** A n o n y m o u s
Meetings in Texas: ™
They both use the Big Book, which changed my recovery and my life.
I don't know what happened with your old sponsor, but I wouldn't let anyone or anything get in the way of my recovery. I believe this because it's also my experience: "Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house."
I'd like to give you the biggest hug ever. I'm glad you're reaching out. Since you have faith, I'd suggest asking your HP for his protection and care with complete abandon. You can pray for the strength and direction to move forward in your recovery. One thing about the God of my understanding is that he really loves his children, all of them. Much love and prayers from me to you.
Big Book quote from the first edition
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