Cheating spouse and staying sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Somewhere in Canada
Posts: 95
Cheating spouse and staying sober
Not going to get into details, but if there is anyone out there that had to deal with a cheating spouse while trying to stay sober, how did you do it? How did you deal with all the emotions without getting drunk or high? Thanks in advance for the advice.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 37
phew, that is a tough one. first of al you have to separate the two, a cheating spouse is not a reason to drink, it just isn't. don't let it trick you into drinking.
now for the cheating part, that is a tough one. i need to keep thinking about it but my first two thoughts are, forgive the person and open up the marriage.
now for the cheating part, that is a tough one. i need to keep thinking about it but my first two thoughts are, forgive the person and open up the marriage.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
When sober people are having trouble coping with emotions I think they will often go to see a psychologist or a therapist, to talk through their emotions. Also, there are probably support groups out there for spouses of cheaters. I don't have personal experience with anything I just mentioned, by the way 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Hi chiyo,
I also agree. You need to separate the two, then you need to think things through. First is he still cheating, is this a dealbreaker? Are you working towards forgiveness on this, and wanting to repair your marriage.
Now the second issue. Is anything being accomplished by you drinking? Or do you think of the cheating constantly and dwell on it?
I was in the same situation, but my ex was an alcoholic, and was abusive. Then I started to drink to self-medicate. Did it help? NO. It kept me stuck in that marriage for so many years because I just wanted to be numb, and not care, all I thought about was the abuse, but I was too drunk to do anything about it to make my life any better.
I also agree. You need to separate the two, then you need to think things through. First is he still cheating, is this a dealbreaker? Are you working towards forgiveness on this, and wanting to repair your marriage.
Now the second issue. Is anything being accomplished by you drinking? Or do you think of the cheating constantly and dwell on it?
I was in the same situation, but my ex was an alcoholic, and was abusive. Then I started to drink to self-medicate. Did it help? NO. It kept me stuck in that marriage for so many years because I just wanted to be numb, and not care, all I thought about was the abuse, but I was too drunk to do anything about it to make my life any better.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Sorry you're facing this.. Obviously drinking wont help, but I think you know that. My counselor said to me once (when I got complacent and thought I had this sobriety thing in the bag), "true recovery is tested and shown when life brings you to your knees.. prepare for that, because it will". I hope you can chat w/ your sponsor or a counselor to work through your feelings and plans.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
