Very Nervous Newcomer
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Essex, United Kingdom
Posts: 16
Very Nervous Newcomer
Hi all, I'm from the UK and have been drinking heavily for 14years or so. I've known it was getting to be a problem and have always managed to find a reason not to do something about it. I'm disgusted at how I have treated loved ones and friends. I have very few people in my life now.
I hit rock bottom when I spent Thursday night in a police cell. Without drink I'm a decent, generous, attentive partner and father. I'm devastated that my life has gone in this direction and I'm determined to make sure I never return to this dark place again.
Drink became my priority and at times I would lie to get money to drink, or hide drink so my partner wouldn't find out. I would drink whatever i could afford and would start drinking at whatever time I fancied one. I was in complete denial. I'm so ashamed of my behaviour and I'm disgusted with myself.
I've arranged to go to AA in a few days and have also made appointments with local organisations to speak with people to find a way forward. I'm hoping to gain inspiration from people on this forum by reading their stories and listening to their advice.
Thanks for reading.
I hit rock bottom when I spent Thursday night in a police cell. Without drink I'm a decent, generous, attentive partner and father. I'm devastated that my life has gone in this direction and I'm determined to make sure I never return to this dark place again.
Drink became my priority and at times I would lie to get money to drink, or hide drink so my partner wouldn't find out. I would drink whatever i could afford and would start drinking at whatever time I fancied one. I was in complete denial. I'm so ashamed of my behaviour and I'm disgusted with myself.
I've arranged to go to AA in a few days and have also made appointments with local organisations to speak with people to find a way forward. I'm hoping to gain inspiration from people on this forum by reading their stories and listening to their advice.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Welcome! You will fina a lot of wisdom and support here. Good job on setting your plan to action. Finding support (in my opinion) is a huge key to getting sober and staying that way. Hang in there. It will get better.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome to SR. You're definitely in the right place. I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, but at least you know now that you have to do something about this problem. We all have to hit a rock bottom in some way, for us to realise that unless we change, our lives will just spiral out of control. I hope you find the support and knowledge that I have done here, and I hope AA works out for you. I have only been sober for three months and the things that have changed are endless... my life is a million times better (and that's not an exaggeration!) I promise you that things get easier over time. I wish you all the best.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Welcome Swash. Some of your countrymen will be along shortly. I have a high school buddy who is now in Liverpool and goes to AA there. We just found out about each other being in AA at our 32nd class reunion a few weeks ago. In the meantime post away - we are on 6 continents here so there's usually always someone around. (I have this bizarre hope that there is an alcoholic scientist in Antarctica that will join SR some day).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
Hey Swash in Essex, Brighton here 
It's really good to meet you hun, and thanks for sharing your story. It sounds as though you've already done a lot of thinking, and the fact tha it's brought you here is really good - a lot of us got or are getting sober with this place. Read around, join in some conversations, get to know the site. It's always fairly quiet in the morning -like dgillz says, we're across 6 continents but most of them seen to sleep in late
Look forward to seeing you around
Still
xx
It's really good to meet you hun, and thanks for sharing your story. It sounds as though you've already done a lot of thinking, and the fact tha it's brought you here is really good - a lot of us got or are getting sober with this place. Read around, join in some conversations, get to know the site. It's always fairly quiet in the morning -like dgillz says, we're across 6 continents but most of them seen to sleep in late
Look forward to seeing you around
Still
xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 260
Another UKer here, with a story similar to yours, Swash. Good luck with kicking the booze into touch. I'm three months into sobriety and I can't pretend I don't miss it -- in a weird way I miss the troughs as well as the peaks -- but it's great not having it sitting on my shoulder day after day, and it's great not having to worry about it all of the time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
I think you made a good decision by coming here. I've found it helpful for my own sobriety to read other people's posts on the SR forums because, for one, I can see that I'm not the only one who has had my drinking-related problems. There are a ton of us out there (have you ever considered how many people are surfing SR at any given time? it's pretty crazy). You are not alone.
Also, it helps to see that people who were in even worse straits than I was are making sobriety work. You can see the path you need to take, you can see other people succeeding or who have succeeded, and if you need to, you can ask them how they managed to pull it off.
The first step after realizing you have a problem is doing something about it, and that takes courage. There's a lot of fear involved with drying out. I commend you on having the courage to take the first step. Good work!
Also, it helps to see that people who were in even worse straits than I was are making sobriety work. You can see the path you need to take, you can see other people succeeding or who have succeeded, and if you need to, you can ask them how they managed to pull it off.
The first step after realizing you have a problem is doing something about it, and that takes courage. There's a lot of fear involved with drying out. I commend you on having the courage to take the first step. Good work!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Congratulations on having the self awareness and the courage to know that you have to make a change. Now you can get down to business and do something about it...for yourself and for your family.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Essex, United Kingdom
Posts: 16
Thank you all for the welcome, I'm really pleased that I join up.
I'm so keen to get better and start on my road to recovery, i know its going to be a very long road but I'm determined to succeed. My drinking has got worse very quickly, I go from being a mellow, kind sort of person to being very nasty and aggressive when drunk. I guess its a Jekyll and Hyde sort of scenario.
I've a young daughter and I know that now is my time to kick the drink and start living like a proper person. I want her to be proud of me but most of all i want to be proud of myself.
I'm so keen to get better and start on my road to recovery, i know its going to be a very long road but I'm determined to succeed. My drinking has got worse very quickly, I go from being a mellow, kind sort of person to being very nasty and aggressive when drunk. I guess its a Jekyll and Hyde sort of scenario.
I've a young daughter and I know that now is my time to kick the drink and start living like a proper person. I want her to be proud of me but most of all i want to be proud of myself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 55
Welcome and props to you for having the courage to admit you needed to get help for your drinking. You will find no shortage of inspirational stories and a bedrock of support on this forum. Good luck on your journey and keep posting to let us know how you are coming along.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
Welcome to SR there are many times this site has helped me stay sober for just one more day! Hold tight it does get better and AA saved my life. Don't worry about the jail cell sometimes it takes that to make it and to truly understand what drinking will lead to. It was just a moment... it is over... let it be your motivation.
You aren't a bad person.. just a sick one. Learn what medication is out there to help you with your sickness.
You aren't a bad person.. just a sick one. Learn what medication is out there to help you with your sickness.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Llanon Wales
Posts: 16
Hi swash former Essex boy here now in Wales I too have just join this and aa good luck ,I too would find reasons to drink wether it was a bad day at work,any sport, you name it I've used the excuse to drink 1day sober you will get through this !!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Essex, United Kingdom
Posts: 16
Thanks again everyone for the warm welcome.
I've got my first AA meeting on Thursday and I'm incredibly nervous about it but I wont let that stop me from attending. I know the first few will be hard as I've never really been around other alcoholics. I know their stories and honesty will help me face my own issues but I'm very nervous.
I've got my first AA meeting on Thursday and I'm incredibly nervous about it but I wont let that stop me from attending. I know the first few will be hard as I've never really been around other alcoholics. I know their stories and honesty will help me face my own issues but I'm very nervous.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Check out this site...The part about fear is interesting...None of us go to our first meeting without it...I left my first meeting and I felt like I was home....Been going back ever since.
Your First AA Meeting<
Your First AA Meeting<
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