sober4myboys

So I am going to try something new. First, I guess I'll explain why I'm here.

I have never drank like a normal person. From the first drink I ever drank, I got wasted. I did have times of moderation, but the binge/drunk far exceeds the moderate times. At 21 I started a bottle of wine a day thing, I got through a divorce with my bottle of wine, we were friends. Then I quit and only drank on weekends.... then I discovered beer and drank most of the time again. Then I found out I was pregnant with my second son. Didn't drink and didn't miss it, until I had him.... this is when it progressed, spouse and I began drinking every single day, maybe a sober day a month. We would have 4-6 (big cans) each night. Then I quit... and then I fell.

I can't and refuse to continue this cycle. I am a better person sober. I am a better mother sober. I feel better. I don't feel the horrendous guilt that I feel hungover or drinking. I can't do this anymore, I won't. I am tired of being like this and wish I could be normal, but I will no longer lie to myself and say someday I will be normal. I'm not, and I'm done!

Letting this go and giving it to God. I will not take it back this time. I swear it!

Sapling

I know some people that will help you do that.

sober4myboys

I looked up the meetings here.... thought maybe I would be a good AA person because of my faith and the steps would give me something to work on and strive for... but there is only one meeting a day in town and they are considerably late for me. Maybe there are more that just are not on the site?

Steve07

At least you recognize something you need to improve on to be a better person for yourself and your family. Strength, thoughts and prayers to you.

Regards,
Steve

Sapling

I'll pray you find one. I think you'd fit right in.

DisplacedGRITS

When i struggle with my decision to quit, i remind myself that i am not alone and that it is no longer my battle to fight and i give away the fight to my Higher Power. I refuse to fight it anymore. It also helps me to not think about the long term but focus on what i will do today and tonight. I will deal with tomorrow tomorrow and not borrow trouble.

Also, don't worry about what normal is. For some people, normal is drunk, broke, divorced with a house in foreclosure and no job. Normal is what you make it. Be your own normal and let everyone else be theirs.

2granddaughters

Welcome to the Rooms !

All the best.

Bob R

aeo1313

There are probably a lot more meetings that are not listed. I don't know where you live, but someone here can probably snag a number for you to call.

Anna

I'm glad that you are clear in your decision that drinking is not an option.

There is lots of support here. Since there are not many meetings in your area, you might want to check out AVRT and SMART.

instant

It didn't really seem like it at the time , but in retrospect it's actually more about embracing sobriety unconditionally.

Sapling

You should be able to find one there that fits your needs...Be sure and share your journey with us!

NoelleR

Hey sober4myboys ----

"...there is only one meeting a day in town and they are considerably late for me. Maybe there are more that just are not on the site?..."

Sometimes online lists are terribly out-of-date. Unfortunately, if you live in a small town, there may be only one meeting in it, but I'm betting there are more close-by.....

Try looking in your local phone book Yellow Pages under 'Alcoholism Information and Treatment Centers' or in the Business Pages under 'Alcoholics Anonymous--AA Public Information or AA Intergroup' or.........you can 'PM' me with where you live, or the name of a large city near you, and I can get you the number for the AA Intergroup near you (or at least I can give it the ole college try).

Also, you say you have faith; have you tried your local churches for Celebrate Recovery--a Christ-based Recovery program, often found in churches.

Hope these suggestions help.....and.....push come to shove, there are lots of meetings online.............

(o:
NoelleR

Dee74

Welcome back Sober4 - I'm really glad you're looking at other options of support too

D

freshstart57

Sober4myboys, you said that you quit drinking while you were pregnant with no difficulties in the least. Not everyone can do that btw, just look at the number of fetal alcohol syndrome victims there are. But, you did do it, and this tells me that you can quit drinking, 'just like that'. At the time, it was a moral question for you, and you decided that to take a drink would be a crime against your unborn child.

Now, it seems as though you don't look at it that way, you give yourself permission to drink now, even though it causes some big problems for you. What would happen if you decided that drinking is no longer an option for you, because you have decided that your children depend on you and need you to be always sober, never even a single drink. What would the result of that decision be?

You can also note that being normal does not mean drinking - not everyone drinks alcohol. Lots of normal people never touch the stuff, never have. You can choose to be one of those normal people if you want. I did. Best to you.

Jitterbugg

For years I thought I was just a guy who 'enjoys a few drinks'. I thought I was normal because everyone gets drunk once in a while, right? Then I started noticing how much faster I would drink than anyone else. I would finish a pint of beer in 4 or 5 gulps and notice my friends had barely touched their pints. This was early in my drinking career and, at the time, I took pride in being able to drink others 'under the table'. That's pretty cool when you're 23 years old, but the act wears thin fast. I wish I had seen the early warning signs of abnormal drinking then.....