Self-medicating for depression?
 

Hi,

This is my fourth day avoiding the evil, and I'm trying be constructive to help shut out the nagging voice in my head, so I thought I'd float a question to the community.

I think I might suffer from some form of depression, and I'm also fairly sure I use alcohol to self-medicate, to numb that depression.

I'm curious if any of you have reached similar opinions about yourselves, and how you figured out exactly what emotional pain or events you were trying to patch over with alcohol.

Grayscale

Most of my nightly binge sessions were so I could get out of my own head, get to sleep... drinking due to depression over my social phobias was common, I'm an introvert big time. Of course the phobia, anxiety and depression just got worse with my drinking and I drank alone for the last 6 years that I was an active alcoholic.

Oh... The voice will continue to nag, but the intensity decreases and became much more mangeable for me as I worked on those underlying issues. Not easy, but neither is being a drunkard for the long run.

Hi Grayscale,

I am over one year sober and I can verify now that a lot of my mood swings,mild depression were due to alcohol. I still have these moods but not to the degree as when I was drinking.
I realize now that it is not just stopping drinking but a lot of the issues that Scolova listed.

caiHong

Thanks for your responses, guys. I suppose it's like any sort of dependency.

If I'm dependent on caffeine, for example, I need caffeine to wake me up and keep me up, and if I don't have it, I would have lows. And with those lows come the side effects like irritability, headaches, etc. And the only way to get out of the low, is to have more caffeine.

Alcohol is analogous, in that we use it to escape a low, then fall into a low once it's gone.

However, in both cases, I think it's observable, (and CaiHong, you expressed this,) that without the substance, the highs and lows are less extreme.

Scolova: I drink alone. I'm not the most sociable person on the planet, and curiously, when I do go out to be social, I tend not to drink very much, if at all, because I don't want to contribute to drunk driving statistics. Some people argue that it's worse to drink alone, but I'm not sure. I suppose if you're doing it to hide your problem, that's one thing. But I spend a lot of time alone anyway, so I would be doing *something* alone, including drinking. Eh, maybe I'm just deluding myself. Anyway, I made it to midnight, so I'm starting day 5 without alcohol.

Thanks folks!

My emotions were all over the place for 6 months when I stopped. I think of it as a complex withdrawal phenomenon. At times I was depressed , but periodically I had euphoric feelings lasting a few minutes that were not normal, at other times I bordered on panic.

Things settled down

Congratulations on 6 days!
Just my experience: the depression did not go away after I stopped drinking. There were definite underlying issues I used to drink "away". The list is long and I required extra, outside help.I couldnt stand my own company. I feel a million times better now and have no thoughts of drinking, i am not white knuckling it. Hopefully for you ; the depression will subside now that youve stopped. You can get more input on your questions about depression and alcohol by posting in the Mental Health Forum. I wish you the best.

For me this was a bit of a chicken/egg question. I definitely drank to self medicate initially but then I have been drinking since I was 12. After a few months sober have realised that drinking definitely caused a lot of my depression, it seriously stole pretty much all of my joy of living and left me practically suicidal. But then things aren't perfect yet and I think that might just be a matter of finding a few better coping strategies...I have no idea how long I should wait before deciding that I'm me again and not influenced by all that alcohol abuse... All I do know is that things are a million times better sober.

I agree with this which Mattcake said...

For years I had that mixed up and thought that if I treated one the other would disappear...oh so wrong!

Well done on 5 days Grayscale! x

Yes, I definitely self-medicated for depression/insomnia/anxiety. I had tried to get my depression treated for years and my dr just didn't hear me and I didn't believe in myself enough to push the issue. Finally, after a few years of trying to drink away my problems, I found a proper diagnosis and treatment for my depression. I will never go back to that dark place again.

I hope you find the answers you need.

I suffer from depression and social anxiety and am an introvert on top of that. My anxiety made it so bad that I would get uncomfortable around those closest to me. My depression would shut me down from the world for days at a time. Prior to getting help I used/self medicated with alcohol to get myself out of the depression and be able to socialize and be comfortable with people. Now I see a therapist for the depression and anxiety and am on medication for it. Although I should have quit drinking at the time I started therapy I didn't, thinking the meds and therapy would control my drinking to a "normal" level. It didn't, so now I am doing what I should have done years ago, getting sober.

I have suffered with depression for five years (probably longer, but that's when I was diagnosed) and funnily enough, that's about the same time I started abusing alcohol. It was like a vicious circle - I thought the alcohol was making me happier, but actually it was making me more depressed. When I first quit, I did feel more depressed than when I was drinking, so yes I did use alcohol to self medicate in some respects, but it was actually making me a lot worse. Over time (it's been 3 months) I've learned to deal with my depression in a much better way - I no longer run to alcohol, I deal with it in a sober way, and find other things that make me happy and take my mind off it. I've found that baking is perfect for this - I spend hours making cakes, and when I've finished I look at what I've produced and I'm proud. It really helps me. Recently I decided (with my doctor) that it was time to come off anti-depressants, and I put that all down to no longer drinking. I am so much happier and healthier since given up alcohol that I don't feel as though I need medication any longer.

Maybe you do need some help with depression though? Just to get you through those first few weeks/months? Perhaps talking to a counsellor or having some cognitive behavioural therapy would help?

I promise, though, that alcohol DEFINITELY makes depression worse - it does not help in any way! And once you've been in recovery for a longer period of time you may realise that being sober is enough.

All the best and congrats on your 4 days.