Building bridges
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Building bridges
My beautiful, sweet 16 year old daughter and I have just had the loveliest day together. She is probably the one hit hardest by my drinking, not because I was mean to her, but because she is the one who has needed me the most.
She has always been the more challenging of my kids. My son is straightforward and emotionally stable. She is vulnerable, has had to deal with bullying at school and is acutely sensitive. She is a younger version of me and I guess that's why we clash. For me, it's like looking in a mirror.
Today, we've been out shopping for her prom. We have walked arm in arm, giggled like a couple of teenagers, and talked openly for the first time in a long time.
I looked across at her at the table when we were having lunch, and she looked radiant. Her beautiful green eyes were sparkling and seemed full of total happiness. For a moment, I thought I was going to cry. How many Saturdays have I layed on the sofa hungover, not sparing her a thought? How many times have I viewed her as in intrusion on my weekend drinking time? Oh, how this hurts.
As we walked back to the car, she asked me if the 2 of us could spend the evening together watching a DVD. When I said I would love to, she gave me a hug. I thought my heart was going to break. Something so simple gave her so much pleasure. How many years have I wasted? I'm ashamed.
I have so many bridges to build with my family.
How could I not see just how very lucky I am to be blessed with the family I have?
Today is magical. I love her so much. I can't change the past, but am sure as hell going to make the future one that she deserves.
Just wanted to share this xxx
She has always been the more challenging of my kids. My son is straightforward and emotionally stable. She is vulnerable, has had to deal with bullying at school and is acutely sensitive. She is a younger version of me and I guess that's why we clash. For me, it's like looking in a mirror.
Today, we've been out shopping for her prom. We have walked arm in arm, giggled like a couple of teenagers, and talked openly for the first time in a long time.
I looked across at her at the table when we were having lunch, and she looked radiant. Her beautiful green eyes were sparkling and seemed full of total happiness. For a moment, I thought I was going to cry. How many Saturdays have I layed on the sofa hungover, not sparing her a thought? How many times have I viewed her as in intrusion on my weekend drinking time? Oh, how this hurts.
As we walked back to the car, she asked me if the 2 of us could spend the evening together watching a DVD. When I said I would love to, she gave me a hug. I thought my heart was going to break. Something so simple gave her so much pleasure. How many years have I wasted? I'm ashamed.
I have so many bridges to build with my family.
How could I not see just how very lucky I am to be blessed with the family I have?
Today is magical. I love her so much. I can't change the past, but am sure as hell going to make the future one that she deserves.
Just wanted to share this xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
That's wonderful, Jeni. I have a 13-year-old and I have at times felt the same regret over the past, all the time wasted. But it's okay -- the present moment is beautiful, and the future is filled with all kinds of possibilities. 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Oh Jen, your post brought tears to my eyes! I am so glad that you have seen this and are making the changes (not drinking) to be with your daughter and make her happy. They grow up SO FAST - and the time you are spending with her is what life is all about. I am so proud and happy for you. I know how your daughter must feel. There are many more happy days ahead. I love it!
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Jeni26 
She is a younger version of me and I guess that's why we clash. For me, it's like looking in a mirror.
Our present condition is like a tangled skein of yarn that needs to be unraveled.
I can only do that sober and with God's and your help.
Glad you had a great day, Jeni, we deserve those periodically.
All the best.
Bob R
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Thankyou all. We just has a cuddle together watching a film, and she's now disappeared to her room to go on her laptop and Facebook!
I love my sober life. It isn't easy and I am quite emotional tonight about the past and all the bad decisions I've made. I so want to make it up to them all.
I'm so very lucky to have this chance to make amends.
I love my sober life. It isn't easy and I am quite emotional tonight about the past and all the bad decisions I've made. I so want to make it up to them all.
I'm so very lucky to have this chance to make amends.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: France
Posts: 74
Hi Jeni26 - this has made my night/week/month - been feeling so good lately, was romanticising being a normal mom and having a wine with lunch/dinner/at a cafe - weirdly. been just thinking about it but boy, it was good to read your post. My daughter is 6 now and I'm all she has, single parent living in a foreign country - the LAST thing I want to do is lose this time, to regret or not remember, to live a hazy life. I want to be a mom with a 16 year old that we cuddle on the couch watching a DVD, or go shopping and have lunch together, arm in arm... it's how I imagine having a teenager...
I'm going to stay sober, and quell the thoughts of drinking - thanks to your post.
Lets be amazing parents and amazing people. present and alive and clear.
enjoy it Jeni26 xx
I'm going to stay sober, and quell the thoughts of drinking - thanks to your post.
Lets be amazing parents and amazing people. present and alive and clear.
enjoy it Jeni26 xx
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