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Old 06-29-2012, 08:44 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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If I let fear get in front of my recovery...I probably wouldn't be here right now.
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Old 06-29-2012, 08:45 PM
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Thank you Amy!
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:01 PM
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I only did AA as long as I needed them, and after three months pretty much here. However, I would not take back one meeting or any of the things I did to get sober once, and for all. AA, here on SR, My Docs, my in hospital detox, counseling, the support of family and friends, every bit of that was needed for me.

At one of my AA meetings I came in just before time and everybody was seated. There was a cop there who I thought might be there to arrest one of us?? Full uniform, gun and all gear but the radio off. Just another member, just another drunk who at one time thought he was unique. The regionally known Veterinarian, the nurses (We had two) several teachers and me a retired Air Force type, and several older members. None of us were better than wino off the street.

I joined AA and just being able to talk, without covering up exactly what I was, and had done, with others that accepted me for what I will be, not what I had been, was simply amazing.

I hope you do too, what works for you!
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:16 PM
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Fancy!! This is just one night in your life. Do not give up hope. Stop drinking, get some water, take a walk, wake up tomorrow and hop right back on the ride. What's done is done, you can't "undrink" what you drank, so there's no reason to get yourself down over it! You don't lose the battle when you drink one night, you lose the battle when you give up! You've been there for me and you can see how much trouble I'm having also with this and you can read other threads about how much trouble it is for a lot of people. You are not alone. You just gotta keep on fighting.
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:18 PM
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You've come to a place full of 'typical alcoholics'. Intelligent, caring, hard working, articulate, normal people who can't seem to quit the drink on their own, who when they do drink can't seem to stop at one or two, who can't seem to stop for more than one or two days, one or two months on their own. We here are all 'typical alcoholics' supporting one another to stay sober. You've come to the right place x
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:19 PM
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Itchy, thank you! I think I would feel very comfortable if a cop was at a meeting with me I also went to my doctor (what a waste of time) doctors do not get training on addiction, he had nothing fantastic to say to me. Prescribed an anti-depressant (hello I'm an addict, I don't need drugs) I never took them.

I'm at a loss, everyone here sounds like me but I don't feel like I have the same strength
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:26 PM
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Thank you Paul!
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:35 PM
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I am not any stronger than you are. I am wearing the T-shirt of my sobriety and it has the stains of a year of tears on it. But it also has the stains of a lot of icing from the cake on it too. Some people cry over the stains they can't get out. I am still learning to smile at how they were made.
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:38 PM
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Keep posting... we care. And yes, we do sound like you because we share your struggle.

:hugs:
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:38 PM
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I didn't think i had it either, Fancy. I joined here, sobered up relapsed, sobered up and repeated the process several times. The important thing is to stick with it and every time you relapse try to learn something from it. Why did this happen? What can i do to prevent it? Also, scare yourself during recovery. We often have to do something scary like go to rehab or go to an AA meeting or be honest with a doctor or someone about our drinking. Feeling safe means we're staying inside our comfort zone and our comfort zone has kept us an alcoholic outside of recovery. Honestly, if i can do it, you can do it.
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:45 PM
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Recovery is hard work, but worth it. I love waking up without a hangover and remembering what I did the night before. I like not being filled with guilt, shame, embarrassement, and remorse. I didn't think I had the strength to quit either. I borrowed the strength from other AA members and my higher power in the beginning. I went to lots of meetings because I didn't have the strength to quit on my own. I told my husband, children, a few close friends, and a couple family members I had a problem and needed their support and understanding. AA and my family gave me the strength and courage I lacked to be sober just for the day. I didn't worry about tomorrow because getting through the current day was hard enough. So many wonderful things have happened since I gave up drinking and some not so great things too; however, I know I can handle the bad so much better sober. I was intent on faking it until I made it. Now a year later I feel solid in my recovery because I have the strength of AA, faith, and the understanding of my friends and family supporting me.
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Old 06-30-2012, 05:31 AM
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Originally Posted by FancyFace View Post

I'm not your typical alcoholic, I am very together looking, no signs of my addiction are displayed on my face or body. .... Yet!
That was me as well, so I thought.....

Time to get really honest with yourself FancyFace, are you perhaps still sitting on the fence deciding if you ARE or AREN'T an alcoholic ? I did that for a long while... Afterall, how could this overachieving, educated business professional admit he had flaws ? Honesty is key, it was for me.........

Things only get worse, not better in this disease... The "not yet's" will materialize..

Decision to quit has to come within, everyone's bottom is different.

I hope you see your bottom from a distance and take the steps to avoid it.

Finally, you should not care if you are seen at a Closed AA meeting, afterall - we are all there to get better.. Perhaps attending a meeting out of your area at first might put your mind at ease...

Good luck !!
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Old 06-30-2012, 06:31 AM
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Try changing your routine.
I know that going home on a hot day and getting a cold beer sounds perfectly lovely, BUT in your case it doesn't.
Maybe if you think of something else to do to whine down instead of a drink might help.
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