Addicted to opiates since aug 2010 -3 days clean
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 7
Addicted to opiates since aug 2010 -3 days clean
I was in a horrible domestic violence situation I was beat , raped, put down etc.. Etc... I was in this relationship for over 10 years.Towards the end I just wanted to die I was numb I wasn't eating hoping I wouldn't wake up the next day.I just wanted to feel something my ex the abuser broke a bone in my hand. I got 7.5 lortabs.I took one and felt good the room spun off just one pill it made me throw up but it felt good.So I kept taking them then I moved to the 10mg hydro. To get the same effect then anything I could find.I got out of the relationship just left one day afraid he would kill me.I knew I wanted a better life!
But my addiction got worse went from taking them whenever to cant go without one.No energy and I use to run 8-9 miles a day 5-6 days a week.I was in the best shape of my life at the gym at 6am but couldn't find the energy unless I had a pill.So I stopped.and I miss it dearly.
Fast forward now 2012 I'm still here in the addiction feeling trapped.i want to feel Like my old self happy & energetic
I'm 3 days clean so far today I feel pretty good.
But my addiction got worse went from taking them whenever to cant go without one.No energy and I use to run 8-9 miles a day 5-6 days a week.I was in the best shape of my life at the gym at 6am but couldn't find the energy unless I had a pill.So I stopped.and I miss it dearly.
Fast forward now 2012 I'm still here in the addiction feeling trapped.i want to feel Like my old self happy & energetic
I'm 3 days clean so far today I feel pretty good.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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I think what helped it spiral was the ex was harassing me threatening to kill me finally I had to get a DVO I was scared to death in court having to stand by him.Ive never truly faced the problems I had during my childhood and what the ex put me throug.It could be self medicating to not feel anything.
I'm wondering does it get better from here on out or worse or is the worse of the physical w/d gone? I think I can deal with the mental once I'm past the physically ill part.Im surprised I've felt so well today I've been going since 11am! Now aching a little ESP. The legs and bit of a headache.
I've made an appt. for counseling for the abuse I've been through as a child and by my ex.
I'm wondering does it get better from here on out or worse or is the worse of the physical w/d gone? I think I can deal with the mental once I'm past the physically ill part.Im surprised I've felt so well today I've been going since 11am! Now aching a little ESP. The legs and bit of a headache.
I've made an appt. for counseling for the abuse I've been through as a child and by my ex.
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I know more about alcohol withdrawal...And that for me was...Every day I was getting better...And I didn't want to go back and start over again...Glad you are here....A big congrats to you on three days...Keep going forward!
one second at a time
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 20
Welcome Kygal!
Such a sad post but your admitting u need help which is great! I was running to opiates as well, but more because of my own guilt & shame. I remember day 3 being my goal for years until I passed it with lots of pain & fear & this small glimmer of hope. I began meetings at the end of detoxing (uuugghhh - that sucked!) But the glimmer was there too once I was well enough to see it. You can do this - both sobriety & freedom. Just keep going, find your glimmer & soon you'll be running for fun not drugs!
Cope35
Such a sad post but your admitting u need help which is great! I was running to opiates as well, but more because of my own guilt & shame. I remember day 3 being my goal for years until I passed it with lots of pain & fear & this small glimmer of hope. I began meetings at the end of detoxing (uuugghhh - that sucked!) But the glimmer was there too once I was well enough to see it. You can do this - both sobriety & freedom. Just keep going, find your glimmer & soon you'll be running for fun not drugs!
Cope35
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome KyGal!
Congrats for having the courage to admit your problems and reach out for support.
Have you thought about talking to a doctor for help in detoxing? I think part of us is always afraid to give up our addiction, but it's just the fear of the unknown. Sobriety is actually better than I ever thought it would be.
Check out the section on substance abuse, too:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Congrats for having the courage to admit your problems and reach out for support.
Have you thought about talking to a doctor for help in detoxing? I think part of us is always afraid to give up our addiction, but it's just the fear of the unknown. Sobriety is actually better than I ever thought it would be.Check out the section on substance abuse, too:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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I'm not completely sure if feel comfortable discussing my situation with a doctor.Partly because Iam embarrassed by it.
Today meanwhile has been rough! Nausea all day I had to force down some wheat toast and sprite.I thought yesterday that the worse was behind me.
The aches are the worse!!!! I have RLS anyways and the withdrawls has made it feel like its all over my body! Especially legs & arms-can anything ease this ??? Or is it something I'm just going to have to ride out?
I've took nausea meds (phenegren) (dont know if i spelled it right)but they are not working!I think all of it would be a lot easier if the RLS could subside.
Today meanwhile has been rough! Nausea all day I had to force down some wheat toast and sprite.I thought yesterday that the worse was behind me.
The aches are the worse!!!! I have RLS anyways and the withdrawls has made it feel like its all over my body! Especially legs & arms-can anything ease this ??? Or is it something I'm just going to have to ride out?
I've took nausea meds (phenegren) (dont know if i spelled it right)but they are not working!I think all of it would be a lot easier if the RLS could subside.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Also my sister is an alcoholic she has drunk wine/liquor/beer. Every single day since I can remember probably b4 she turned 21. I've always known of her problem one day she admitted it to me.( this was before I started down the wrong path) I called treatment centers for her because she asked for my help.They told me they would want her to go to an in- treatment program because of the extent of her drinking.When I told her what they said she freaked out refused and the next day she said she was over reacting and she would stop her self it wasn't a big deal she said.She still drinks everyday she can't function and shakes without it. Iam scared for her.
I'm not making excuses for the choices we have made but we had a very tough childhood she was molested by a teacher at 16.
My father is also a drug addict always has for as long as I remember he use to be an alcoholic then turned to methadone now.He has never played much of a role in my life my parents divorced when I was 8, most of my dads side of the family had been drug addicts and alcoholics.Maybe I could be more predisposed to addiction.
I know so much to read I'm sorry . But this is the first time I've told anyone about my problems with addiction.
I'm not making excuses for the choices we have made but we had a very tough childhood she was molested by a teacher at 16.
My father is also a drug addict always has for as long as I remember he use to be an alcoholic then turned to methadone now.He has never played much of a role in my life my parents divorced when I was 8, most of my dads side of the family had been drug addicts and alcoholics.Maybe I could be more predisposed to addiction.
I know so much to read I'm sorry . But this is the first time I've told anyone about my problems with addiction.
one second at a time
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 20
The aches are really hard to treat - take tylenol regularly (it will help a little) & take baths/hot showers. You will be the shiniest, cleanest soberest person u know!
Here's the kicker - a few times I've been craving in my sobriety & my hands, knees & joints will begin to ache! The first time I called my sponsor freaking out because 1 was over a month & had no reason to ache. That's how crazy this stuff is - your mind reanacts those symptoms to get u to use! Talk about powerlessness.
Keep going! You can do it!
Here's the kicker - a few times I've been craving in my sobriety & my hands, knees & joints will begin to ache! The first time I called my sponsor freaking out because 1 was over a month & had no reason to ache. That's how crazy this stuff is - your mind reanacts those symptoms to get u to use! Talk about powerlessness.
Keep going! You can do it!
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by cope35 
The aches are really hard to treat - take tylenol regularly (it will help a little) & take baths/hot showers. You will be the shiniest, cleanest soberest person u know!
Here's the kicker - a few times I've been craving in my sobriety & my hands, knees & joints will begin to ache! The first time I called my sponsor freaking out because 1 was over a month & had no reason to ache. That's how crazy this stuff is - your mind reanacts those symptoms to get u to use! Talk about powerlessness.
Keep going! You can do it!
Here's the kicker - a few times I've been craving in my sobriety & my hands, knees & joints will begin to ache! The first time I called my sponsor freaking out because 1 was over a month & had no reason to ache. That's how crazy this stuff is - your mind reanacts those symptoms to get u to use! Talk about powerlessness.
Keep going! You can do it!
Has anyone tried requip for RLS for this?
Rough night last night.
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